Long Before I Tell You

I am a follower of Jesus.

Don’t assume you understand

what that means.

It saddens me that

you probably don’t know at all.

Even more heartbreaking,

I know you just got a picture

in your mind that looks very different

from what a follow of Jesus is.

There are far too many people

that you’ve met,

and heard, and seen,

who say they are Christian,

but don’t follow his way.

“Feed the hungry,” Jesus says.

     “Get them off welfare,” they reply.

“Give your money to the poor,” he tells the rich young man

     “Well, he didn’t mean me,” they explain away

“Turn the other cheek, and love your enemies” he teaches

     “I’ll get even,” they respond at work,

     and “torture the bastards”

     they say of ‘enemy combatants’

“Invite the stranger in,” Christ requires of us,

     but their reply is, “What part of illegal don’t you understand?”

“Render unto Caesar,” he spoke,

     “He’s not my president, I hate him,” they proudly proclaim.

“I don’t condemn you,” he told the woman,

     “You’re going to burn in Hell!” their sign says.

He says that his followers

will be known by their love,

but these ones have no compassion

and forgiveness isn’t there

even for others who they claim to be their brothers.

He tells them, “follow me” and to leave

the things of this world behind,

but they bring an American flag and

their political party too,

as if the Kingdom of God

is split into two.

 “He’s my Lord, my very brother

as I’m a child of God,” they declare

while forgetting his words, “My brothers are those

who hear God's word

and put it into practice.”

Jesus gave love and compassion

to the hurting and lost

and he gave nothing but contempt and rebuke

to pompous religious fools

who professed to follow God,

but crushed others with their pride

and judgment and deceit.

What of those today who claim him as their own

but condemn others and live as hypocrites.

I don’t know how they mixed up the messages,

the words are right there

in millions of copied pages.

They don’t know his words

and don’t do his works,

but unfortunately,

arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand

just as the songwriter said.

Why are the worst examples always the loudest ones?

I’m sorry that those are the ones you see on the news,

the ones who preach at you at work,

the ones who condemn you for your sins

while conveniently ignoring their own.

Please know, there are others,

many more than you realize:

the quiet ones who listen,

the faithful who follow,

the busy ones who act,

the selfless ones who serve,

the ones who take his word seriously,

and do his works generously,

who live justly,

and who love mercy,

who walk humbly with their Lord.

Watch for them, they are there,

and ignore the ones who talk

but don’t bother to walk.

Don’t assume that you know what a Christian is

because you’ve seen those others.

A person can claim anything they want,

but you can see right through.

Jesus said you’ll know a person by their fruit

just as you can tell a tree by what it bears;

if their fruit is condescension,

self-righteous judging and rage,

they aren’t bearing the truth

and don’t know his message,

but if their fruit is love and joy and peace,

patience, kindness, and goodness,

faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control -

well, that’s the right kind of tree

and a message you can believe.

Judge his message by

his followers who really live out their faith,

who serve you and not hurt you

who love you and not hate you

who tell you truth gently and not hate-filled rhetoric

who earn the right to be heard and do not demand it

who are selfless and not selfish

who are like Jesus

and not like those others you've seen.

I am a follower of Jesus,

and I hope you can see him in my life

long before I tell you

I am a follower of him.

Ten Little Indians

The drums start pounding in the distance.  The rhythm begins building as the chief raises his arms to the sky.  The warrior-dancers stride boldly in, their warpaint fierce, their faces determined; this is their moment.  Concentration fills their faces as the wailing music starts and they began to dance around, mimicking the elements of fire, water, earth and air.  They dance with abandon to celebrate the joy of a harvest, to give thanks for the food they will eat.  Flashes of light strobe across the scene and voices began to call.

“Look this way, honey.” 

“You’re doing great.”

“Keep dancing, buddy, follow the teacher.”

We parents watched our little preschoolers perform for the school’s Thanksgiving feast.  Our ten little Indians were dancing around a fire made of construction paper and cardboard tubes with a tipi made of window blind pieces standing in the background. Paper headbands held pink and yellow feathers and tinkling bells were tied around their ankles.

It was probably as politically incorrect as you can get now days and someone, somewhere is probably offended.  Of course, that someone, somewhere is always offended about something.  Yes, we know the Native Americans of the East Coast tribes who encountered the pilgrims didn’t live in tipis.  Yes, the second song was sung in Spanish, not the language of the Wampanoag.  Yes, the pilgrims arguably brought a new culture that brought change to another culture. 

But, the kid’s celebration of Thanksgiving was enthusiastic and warmed everyone’s heart. As far as political correctness goes, they were pretty diverse.  We had White Indians, Black Indians, Hispanic Indians and even an Asian Indian Indian bridging two very different cultures who share a name.  Her big brown eyes would melt anyone’s heart, so I’m pretty sure it made everything OK.

Sometimes an Indian is really an Indian and sometimes, she’s from India.  Sometimes a tipi is a home for plains dwelling Native Americans, and sometimes it is a butcher paper and window blind structure for ambience.  Sometimes a drama is for teaching history, and sometimes it is just performing for parents.

Here’s to all those who fuss and bother about titles and proper names for things, for those who insist on the correct version of history and those who are so tolerant that they are intolerant of anyone who doesn’t agree with them. Relax. 

Let’s put aside politics for awhile and just enjoy watching the kids.  They don’t care about any of that anyway, they just want to dance for their parents.

Happy Holidays.

What is the Christian Response to Abortion?

I was invited to serve my time on the picket line a few weeks ago.  Two ladies stopped in my office to discuss the possibility of my church joining in the protest of a local practitioner who performs the only private abortions in the state.  I listened politely and accepted their literature, but then respectfully told them, ‘No.’ 

I don’t like abortion.  Let’s be clear about that.  I think it is a positively awful and generally selfish choice that almost always arises out of poor life decisions.  Though the debate often moves to questions like, “What if the pregnancy is because of incest or rape,” I believe this is the exception and not the rule.  With more forethought and more focus personal responsibility instead of demanding personal rights, there would be less need for abortions in this country.  Please understand, if you are a woman who has had an abortion, I do not condemn you for it, but my heart breaks for the situation.  I would never turn away someone who has chosen or is considering abortion, especially in those exception cases. 

I also do not like abortion protests.  By and large, they are obnoxious and so focused on this one issue, that they lose sight of all other humanity.  It doesn’t take much of a leap to go from charges of murder to feeling obligated to do anything in your power to prevent the murder.  Thus we get shootings of abortion doctors and bombings of their centers.  Even those who do not turn to violence, often turn to violent language, graphic pictures, and intimidating tactics.  Violence, hatred, and intimidation are NOT worthy of Jesus and are completely unacceptable from anyone who claims to follow him.  I just cannot picture Jesus yelling epithets through a megaphone at a scared young girl.   

During college, members of my class were assigned to visit a Planned Parenthood and ask questions.  To enter the center nearest me, I had to go through a heavy steel door with an armored peephole that looked like it was out of a bank vault.  The inside lobby was small and the receptionist window had that thick bulletproof glass that you see in check-cashing businesses.  The interior door to the counselors and patient rooms was also armored and you had to present I.D. and wait to be buzzed through.  I was saddened that those doctors, nurses, and counselors were in an armed camp, predominantly out of fear of people who call themselves Christians.  That’s not how it should be.

The ladies who invited our church to join them in this current protest promised me that the signs would be about love and would, in fact, say, “We Love You, Choose Life.” They told me the protest would be all about letting the doctor and patients know that we loved them and that there would be no graphic pictures of aborted fetuses.  I still am concerned.  Who controls what goes on these signs?  Who controls who gets to be there protesting?  Even the most peaceful protests tend to draw the fringe elements, and that brings danger. 

I believe that the Christian response to abortion is not protest, but Adoption.  My challenge to any and every protestor who would walk in front of an abortion doctor’s office, is this: “How many children have you adopted?”  For every pastor, teacher, or blogger who has written and spoken on the subject of abortion, I would ask, “How many young girls have you provided for so they can have a baby and put it up for adoption?”

I don’t know that holding a sign has ever changed a single person’s mind.  I do know that a loving offer to adopt has.  I do know that giving a woman information can make an incredible difference (yet Planned Parenthood consistently stands against any requirement for this).  I also know that groups like Crisis Pregnancy Centers do an incredible job offering counseling, connecting women with adoption agencies, offering financial assistance, and walking with a pregnant woman through a tough time.  They even offer post-abortion counseling for free, if a woman chooses that route. 

I am a believer in putting your money and your action where your mouth is.  Period.  If you cannot stand up, please shut up. 

Here are the stats. 

·  According to the National Abortion Federation’s website (a pro-choice group), there are approximately 1.3million unwanted pregnancies in the United States each year.

·  According to Religion Facts, there are approximately 159 million Christians in the United States. 

·  There are already as many as a half a million people seeking to adopt children at any given time in the United States and as many as 1.58 million who have taken steps to look into adoption according to Adoption.com. 

·  There are around 127,000 children awaiting adoption in foster care right now, according to the Adoption Institute.

·  Fertility Treatments can cost upward of $12,000 per cycle with the average spent on In Vitro Fertilization in the U.S. of $100,000 per baby born!  $4 billion dollars a year is spent on assisted reproduction in the U.S.

·  The average cost of a foster adoption is $5,000 with domestic adoptions costing around $10,000 and international adoptions running from $25,000 - $35,000 according to the Adoption Guide.  Note – there are tax credits and grants for adoption that alleviate some of this.

The simple truth here is, if every church in the U.S. took this idea seriously, there would be little or nothing left to protest about.  There are just over 12 times as many Christians as there are abortions.  There should be enough families to adopt every available baby.  If churches and families took the calling to adoption seriously, there would be millions of families available to adopt and millions of others available to support the families in those adoptions.  Imagine if the money spent on fertility treatments were spent towards adopting unwanted babies and children.  Imagine if churches stepped up and committed to adopting every child available AND supporting those families that went through with adoptions.

A pastor friend of mine and his wife* shared how they adopted a little baby girl and then ten months later had the opportunity to adopt twin newborn boys.  It took little thought for them to say, ‘Yes.’  They said it was so hard taking care of three little babies, two of whom were preemies, that they remembered little about that first year.  What they did share was that the women of their church brought them dinners every night for six months and then continued to regularly drop off food for months after that.  They also had church members who came over and watched the babies periodically so they could get a break.  Now, that’s how it should work!

When we adopted my oldest daughter, we experienced the same thing.  Church members organized meals for us.  They dropped off gifts of baby clothing, formula, food for the family, and many other things.  I don’t think we bought a single diaper for the first year!  They helped us with babysitting, and even just coming to visit.

That’s how it’s supposed to work.  Christian community is an amazing thing; it's much more powerful than any sign.

I am not suggesting that this would stop all abortions, but I do suggest that it could be an amazing, life-changing experience for everyone involved: the woman facing an unwanted pregnancy, the precious child, the adoptive family, and the church as a whole.  I know so many adoptive families and in every single case, the experience has been a hard one, but a healthy one.  The love these families and children experience overflows on those around them. 

My wife and I have had a wonderful experience with adoption and intend to adopt more children in the future.  I invite every Christian family to step up and either open your lives up to adopt a child, or open your pocket book up to support adoption. 

Love is a powerful thing.  I believe it is infinitely more powerful when it is taken off of signs and put into action. 

* Note: My Pastor friend does participate in the protest at that site, holding a sign that says, ‘We love you, choose life.’  He has adopted several children; he has earned the right to hold a sign.

If you are a family looking to adopt, may I recommend Christian Family Care Agency at www.cfcare.org ((602) 234-1935 or Arizona Baptist Children’s Services at www.abcs.org (623) 349-2227

If you can contribute to adoption, please consider making a donation to http://www.cfcare.org/donate/ or to http://www.choicesaz.org/. 

 If you are a woman experiencing an unwanted pregnancy, may I suggest you contact the local Crisis Pregnancy Center.  In Phoenix, you can find them at www.choicesaz.org  or by calling them at (602) 393-7501.  All assistance is free, fair, and confidential.

If you are a woman who has had an abortion and would like to talk to someone, they also offer free counseling. 

Other services offered by Crisis Pregnancy Centers include:

·         Pregnancy testing

·         STD Testing

·         Physician or Nurse Consultation

·         Crisis counseling

·         Counseling for parents, boyfriends, and husbands

·         Adoption counseling

·         Adoption referral

·         Housing referrals

·         Childbirth classes

·         Parenting classes

·         Abortion recovery

·         Ultrasounds

 Another option is  Hope House http://womenscpc.org/#/hope-house-maternity-home/4552859533 located in Showlow, Az.  It may be a drive from Phoenix, but they offer an actual maternity home.

Pride and Prejudice

I am a racist and very prejudiced; I hate people who are different from me.  At least, that’s what the writer of a recent email accused me of.  He was kind about it, suggesting it in an oblique way, couching it in the nicest terms possible; but it sure didn’t feel very nice.  I was so hurt and angry, that I had to kick in my personal safety rule about email.  Never respond by email when you are mad.  It actually took me four attempts at re-writing my response, in order to calm down and be a peacemaker instead of firing back an accusatory and sarcastic response in the same character as his original email.

The story behind it is very long, but the short version is that we disagreed on how to help the homeless.  Our church and several other churches, charities, and ministries were asked by the Phoenix Police to assist them by feeding the homeless at a different location than the city park.  The location is a short walk away from the park, has a gymnasium and kitchen and helps resolve issues of the neighborhood families who would like to take their kids to the park without having to see people defecating near their picnic (actual event) or having pedophiles preying on their kids (two actual events).  The homeless are still allowed to use the park, they just cannot camp there and the many groups who feed them are asked to move to this ministry other location that is a mile away.  We agreed to work with the police and the neighborhoods, this other group did not.  We are still feeding the homeless and, what’s more, helping some to get off the street, into housing, and back to work (4 in the last month).  Even cooler, we are able to get dozens of ministries and charities to work together, pooling our resources and thus doing more than any one of us could alone.

I offered to meet with the fellow who emailed me and talk.  I offered to listen and provide answers if he needed.  I thought that perhaps he misunderstood.  He wasn’t interested in talking with someone he doesn’t agree with.  He missed the irony of his own email, as much of his problem was based on his own prejudiced assumptions about me that he never bothered to clarify.

I have a friend on Facebook who likes to spout strong opinions on political issues.  (actually, I have several like that).  This one, in particular, regularly reposted half-truths about the opposing party, internet rumors, and false statistics to back up his point.  I used to post responses to his comments on a regular basis, asking questions, positing a different point-of-view, or posting links to Snopes.com and factcheck.org when he posted things that were internet hoaxes, or I would post links to surveys which might dispute or clarify what he is saying.  He privately messaged me and asked me to no longer do this because he didn’t appreciate how I made him look bad.  I think that I have to give him some props for being intellectually honest about his intellectual dishonesty. 

In both of these cases, the issue at hand was pride.  Neither one of them could conceive that there might be another way, therefore, the problem was me – not them.

I have a friend who is transgender.  We correspond on social media and meet for coffee every couple of months to talk.  I try to listen and understand.  I have to be completely honest here – I don’t really understand.  I have no frame of reference on the struggle; it’s not mine.  Because I have known him longer than her, pronouns can be a struggle.  But, I listen.  I ask questions.  I seek understanding.

I have friends who are far-right conservatives.  I don’t agree with them on many issues, most especially immigration, government regulation, and the way we treat this planet.  I believe they’ve got some things right, especially that we need to respect and protect small businesses, those ‘rich’ people who provide most of the jobs in the U.S.  Even though we disagree, I love discussions with them, because I can learn something, and hopefully they can too.

I have friends who are far-left liberals.  I don’t agree with them on many issues, most especially the idea that it’s OK to steal from someone who has more than you do, that bigger government is the solution to all our problems, or that some groups of people still require special rights that others don’t receive. I do believe they get it right when they suggests that we need to protect our lands from pollution and when they want to help those in need.  Even though we disagree on some things, I love discussions with them too. 

I am an unabashed Christian.  I believe that Christ offers us the only hope of salvation in this world.  With that said, I have friends who are Jewish, friends who are Buddhist, friends who are atheist, and some friends who just don’t know.  Religious discussions are some of my favorite, because there are so many ideas to discuss.

None of these conversations are comfortable.  Some, in fact, get down-right uncomfortable.  Years ago, I read that our brain views attacks on our ideas by releasing the same hormones that a physical attack on our bodies causes.  We go into a similar fight or flight mode from ideas, just as we would if a guy in a hockey mask was chasing us with a chainsaw.  It’s no wonder things get uncomfortable, but who promised a life of comfort?  When the only point of view you can see is your own, it’s like placing a mirror between you and other people.  They are there, but you no longer can see them.

I am not a fence-sitter when it comes to ideas.  I have opinions, and they have generally been shaped through much thought.  I’m not always right on everthing, but hey, I’m not always wrong either.  I believe the Socratic idea that the unexamined life is not worth living.  Thus, some of my opinions have changed over years, often as a result of a healthy discussion.  Politically, I have been a registered democrat, a registered republican, and now a registered independent.  Spiritually, I have been an anti-Christian agnostic and now am a Christian pastor.  Live and learn.  Part of this growth has come from people challenging my ideas.

We have to have people who disagree with us in order to become whole people ourselves.

We need opposing ideas to keep healthy points of view. 

We must recognize that few things are truly black and white and truth is usually found somewhere in the grey middle ground.

Unfortunately, these things are harder and harder to get.  Social media, email, and other technology has made it possible to surround ourselves with homogenous points-of-view.  Facebook and Google both shift their search results and advertising based on things you have commented on, people you are connected to, and things you have previously searched for.  This can be a wonderful help when you are using the internet as it makes it faster and easier to find things that interest you. 

But, it is also a bad thing as it begins to sift out any ideas that disagree with you.  If you regularly post from the Huffington Post, you will no longer see any results, events, or advertising that suggests Republican ideas.  If you regularly disagree with President Obama, you will stop seeing any information about Democratic themes.  As a Christian, these sites filter out anything that might challenge my beliefs.  For some of people, that may sound like a good thing.  Unfortunately, causes increased partisanship and distills people to extemism.  We demonize other points of view to the point that we no longer see them as people, but as the enemy.  Just read the comments on any blog post related to political or religious ideas.  Most of those commentors no longer see the other side as humans, just as a problem to be resolved.

Just as a your average mutt of a dog is generally less susceptible to genetic diseases than a purebred, the distillation of ideas makes us unhealthy as a people and more susceptible to bad ideas and to violent disagreements, up to and including civil war.

We need people who think, believe, and look different from us.  We must share ideas, discuss concepts, and seek to bridge our divisions.  We must let down our walls of pride and separatism.  We must allow ourselves to ask the question, “What if I am wrong?”  Maybe, just maybe, the other person can help you grow while you, at the same time, challenge them to growth.  The simple truth is that we aren't always going to agree, and that is a good thing.  But we must find a way to listen to each other, to take the best ideas, and to give a little and get a little.

Let me just offer a caveat.  I once was arranging to meet an old friend who I hadn’t seen in two decades.  He noticed that I was a pastor and said that he wasn’t interested in having someone shove their religious ideas down his throat because he is open-minded and believes x, y, and z.  There was a certain irony to his statement, as well as an implied insult, but I replied to him saying, “Open-minded does not mean empty-minded.”  I was just hoping to catch up with an old friend; I wasn’t bringing a proselytizing agenda.  I did tell him, that he was welcome to leave religious discussion completely off the table, but if he wanted to talk about it, then I would be more than willing to meet challenge with challenge.  When you have a discussion with someone who is challenging your ideas, it is perfectly acceptable to politely challenge them back. 

Let’s do this thing.  If you have read this far, take this dare yourself.  Seek out someone you would normally disagree with.  Take them out for coffee and listen.  Don’t go in with a bad attitude, but a welcoming one.  Consider what truth they might have in their ideas.  Open your mind and think the issues through from their point-of-view.  Consider how to build bridges, and offer serious but polite challenges back at them.  In the end, you may still hold to a set of principles, but you might just find that your hard-line ideas are tempered by the recognition that the side has a valid point or two and that the other person is just that, a person.

Humanity would be much healthier if we could lose a lot of our pride.  We might just find that we change our prejudices.

P.S. – This is a good time to renew my ongoing offer.  If you want to have a discussion on an issue, if you have questions about my beliefs (or your beliefs for that matter), if you just want to share your story, then I invite you to join me for a cup of coffee and conversation.  Just click the Free Cup of Coffee link on the right side of the page and I’ll be glad to meet you somewhere in the valley of the sun (sorry if you are out of state, but you gotta meet me in the vicinity of Phoenix, AZ).  I’ll even buy the first cup.