Translations

It’s not polite to talk about religion or politics.  You might offend someone.

Poppycock!

I don’t believe you can actually understand someone unless you discuss ideas and beliefs. 

I love discussion.  I enjoy bandying about ideas and considering the merits of various systems of thought.  Philosophy is fun.  Theology is entertaining.  Politics are engaging.   We don’t have to be rude; discussion can be gracious while still challenging.

OK.  I’ve probably already lost you.   “What a weirdo,” you are thinking. 

You just might be right.

Because I grew up without religion, I was an agnostic through high school and college.  I have a lot of respect for someone who admits they don’t know, and even more for the person who doesn’t give up at that point, but keeps on searching.  I have significantly less respect for someone who holds a belief system that they’ve never put any real thought into and won’t even discuss.  This goes for Christians too.  I have met many who grew up with Christianity but have never considered it deeply and have never put any thought into their own beliefs.   I truly believe that an unexamined life is not worth living and an untested faith is probably a weak one.  Truth can stand up to questions and it is OK to admit you don’t have all the answers.

Over the years, speaking with people about religion, I’ve noticed that there are some Conversation-Killers that people use when they don’t want to talk about the subject or, as is often the case, they want to talk about their ideas but don’t want any conflicting ideas.  These Conversation-Killers are short statements that are flippantly tossed out by the person in hopes that they’ll sound deep and intellectual without actually having to engage in any real dialogue.  Conversation-Killer statements sound like one thing, but they actually mean something else. 

I have taken the time to provide translate some of the most common that I have run into and, in some cases, actually said myself in the past (sigh).  Please know that some of this is tongue-in-cheek, but there are also deeper truths behind each of them.  My intention is not to be deliberately mocking if you say these things, but to challenge you to real thought and deeper discussion. 

TRANSLATIONS – When someone says the following statement, here is what they are really saying:

“I’m not religious, but I’m a spiritual person.”   Translation:  I want to feel like I am religious without ever actually sacrificing or committing to anything specific.

“I don’t believe in organized religion.”   Translation: I don’t want to wake up early on Sunday or actually have to connect with other people who might have questions that I can’t answer or might challenge me to growth.

“I believe all religions lead to heaven.”   Translation:  I don’t really know anything about the various religions, I’m just trying not to offend anyone.

“I don’t believe in two thousand year old superstitions.”   Translation: I believe in my own set of modern superstitions.

“I’m too rational for religion.”   Translation:  I’m so caught up in my own superior beliefs and personal egotism that I can’t conceive of anything I haven’t personally experienced.

“You can’t prove God scientifically.”   Translation: I don’t really understand how the scientific process works and so mistakenly believe that most things in the world are scientifically verifiable.

“There is no evidence that Jesus ever existed.”   Translation: I’ve never looked at the evidence, and I don’t understand how the evidentiary process works or how we know about historical figures.  Therefore, I can just choose who I choose to believe existed and who didn’t based on my comfort level.

“Religion is something that weak people need to get through life, but not me.”  Translation: I have my own unprovable rationalizations for things I can’t explain and that gets me through my weak times and don’t want to think too hard about it. 

“Religion is the cause of everything that is wrong in the world.” 
Translation:  Hey, I can explain away the shortcomings of mankind by blaming everything on human belief systems.  Wait a minute…That’s a belief system too.  Oh crap.

“I’m an atheist.”  Translation:  A religious person or people (probably Christian) hurt me, so I choose to accuse others of having unprovable belief systems while I stand firm on my own unprovable, belief system*.  I probably still live my life with mostly Judeo-Christian values, but don’t believe in God (except for that niggling feeling in the back of my brain).   *yes Atheism is a belief system.

“I just think love is the answer.”  Translation: I like touchy –feely emotional explanations that sound cool but require nothing from me personally.

“All religions say the same things.  It’s all about the Golden Rule.”  Translation:  I have never really read anything from the various religions and don’t know what the word ‘contradiction’ means. 

“Religion is society’s way of controlling people.”  Translation:  I don’t want someone or some book to suggest that I’m not already a perfect person and might need to change or grow.

“I believe that your religion is true for you and mine is true for me.”  Translation:  Contradiction, what’s a contradiction?  If everyone is right, then no one is wrong and nobody has to feel bad.  I just don’t want to consider that I might be wrong and don’t want to hurt you by suggesting that you might be wrong.  Except, I just did suggest that you are wrong.

“Christians are narrow-minded and judgmental.”  Translation: I am narrow-minded and judgmental because I can’t even consider the possibility that someone else might be right.  I also am unable to see the ironic narrow-minded judgment in my own statement.

“I prefer to be open-minded.”   Translation: I prefer to be empty-minded and can’t compare and analyze ideas that might require me to reject something.  If I actually thought about it, I might have to commit to something and that might be difficult.

“Christians are intolerant.”  Translation: I’m intolerant and can’t handle ideas that conflict with mine.

“There are too many religions in the world to know if one is right.”   Translation: Thinking is hard for me and I just don’t want to do it. 

OK, that was probably offensive for some people and I’ll probably get a few nasty messages about what Christians really mean.  The funny thing is, I’ll probably agree to some extent because, as I said earlier, I’ve met lots of people who grew up in church and have never really considered their beliefs on a deeper level.  I don't like bumper-sticker answers from Christians either, such as "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven" or "You just have to believe."  These are Conversation-Killers too. 

If someone is offended by an idea that differs from theirs that is politely shared, that is their problem.  No need to be a jerk to them, but let's be honest here: they aren't alone in this world.  This world has a rich tapestry of ideas, good and bad, and you just can't pretend that you live in a bubble where no one else's values, morals, ideas, or beliefs can touch you.  If you offend someone by polite sharing of an idea, that's their problem.  If you offend them by being an overbearing jerk about it, that's your problem.

Really, I just want to encourage you to discuss ideas.  Religion and politics are perfectly acceptable conversation topics, just keep it on a conversational level.  I think that is what scares most people, that the conversation will turn unfriendly.  I’ll be honest, there are some people that I don’t bother discussing these topics with, because they just can’t handle it without getting irrational and angry.  But, if you can handle it, I really want to know your story.  But don’t be surprised if I have questions for you.  I want to understand what you believe and why.  I also want you to understand what I believe and why.  This ultimately brings us closer to understanding each other.  Besides, discussing the weather is dull.

So, go ahead, ask me some questions.  I’ve got a few for you. 

Let’s talk.

P.S. – I’ve never actually used the word ‘Poppycock’ in conversation, but it’s kind of a fun word.