That Bad Word

Ralphie Gets His Mouth Washed Out
"A Christmas Story" 1983

Don’t use that word!!!  That word is so bad, I would say that any kid who uses it have their mouth washed out with soap.  Except, this word is not one that kids use, it’s one that adults use – and they just won’t hold still to have their mouths washed out with soap.

NO, I’m not talking about the ‘N’ word or the ‘F’ word, or even the ‘L’ word (thanks HBO).  At least these words get abbreviated in polite society, but not the one I’m talking about.  No, people come right out and say the ‘Ph’ word unapologetically.

There is a rise in the use of the ‘Ph’ word in the past couple of years, and it just needs to stop.  News media uses it frequently.  Special interests like to use it a lot too.  The most frequent abusers tend to be on one side of the political spectrum, but I predict we’ll see it on both sides more and more if we don’t stop it.

The word is ‘phobia’ along with all its permutations (phobe, phobic, etc).  It started to gain use with the word ‘Homophobia’ (a person who is ostensibly afraid of homosexuals)* and now it is being tagged onto the end of the word Islam as in Islamaphobe (a person who is ostensibly afraid of Muslims).  Who knows what it’s going to be tagged onto next?

By tagging the word ‘phobe’ onto the end of another word, you suggest that a person on the other side not only disagrees, but actually has mental issues as the basis for them not being on board with you.  This allows you to shut down all debate and intelligent discourse on the subject.  No one wants to be smeared with the suggestion that they have mental problems.  So, it’s easier not to say anything because you’ll be painted as the unreasonable one.  What a useful tool for those who don’t want to bother having logical arguments about their position or actually thinking through the other side’s reasons.

When you step back and look at it, it really is a silly idea: 

Are my Republican friends Democrataphobes? 

Are my gay friends Straightaphobes? 

Are my Atheist friends Religiophobes? 

My daughter likes vanilla ice cream, does that make her a Chocophobe?

I am attracted to long-haired brunettes (Love you, Honey).  Does that make me a Blondophobe?

As you see, this can get downright ridiculous.  Just because you have an opposing opinion or think differently on a matter doesn’t make you afraid of the other side.  It really is an adult version of name-calling.  We call that Ad-hominem for those of you who weren’t geeky enough to be in debate in High School.  The purpose is to demonize those who disagree with you in order to shut them up. 

It’s unfair, unkind, and unethical. 

So, let’s knock it off.

There are 310 million people in the United States, and so it’s pretty likely that we will all disagree once in awhile.  The childish way to deal with this is to use name-calling, threats, and low-blows.  The adult way to deal with this is to discuss and debate using fair argument, logic, and respectful dialog. 

Guess what, we still won’t all agree.  But, we can learn to live with each other, learn to win some and lose some, and learn to get along as adults.

Or, we can continue using bad words till we get our mouths washed out with soap.

Tank Abbott
could pound me into
the ground too making
me a tankaphobe

* I have to honestly admit that I have been a homophobe on one occasion.  I worked with a woman who was a lesbian, and her girlfriend was built like Tank Abbott and had an attitude to match (looked a little like him too). I am man enough to admit that I was afraid to disagree with her, because she could pound me into the ground.  But that’s the closest I’ve ever been to being a homophobe.