Different Enough

I want to be different…  Just like everyone else. 

Our culture is one of conformity. 

Just check out the teen girl dressed in all black and listening to emo music, trying to be her own self, just like the dozen others that she hangs out with.

Look at the Republicans who, on cue, decry everything that president Obama does.  Look at the Democrats who did the same thing with George Bush.  Neither one can step outside of their group and actually give a little credit where it is due.

Look at the beatniks of the 50s, the hippies of the 60s, the feminists of the 70s, the yuppies of the 80s, and the grunge culture of the 90s. 

Look at the hundreds of guys with their pants belted below their butt, showing their chonies. (That’s a fad that can’t die soon enough)

Counter-cultural people tend to be just another culture. They’re different, just like everyone else.

Oh, we like to pretend that each of us is our own individual, but ultimately, society expects you to conform to an image.  My Human Development Professor in college, “We make too much of a big deal about cliques and conformity with teenagers.  I’m 65 years old and live in a retirement community and there is definitely a message of conformity, from the catalogues that tell me how I should dress, to the clubs that people my age join, to the expectations of my kids and grandkids.” 

This brings me to some recent conversations that I have had with my long-time friend, Rick.  Are we, as Christians, different enough?  Do we look so much like the world around us, that people just cannot tell the difference?  Or, do we just have a silly Christian sub-culture that has its own conformities?  Rick has been wrestling with these questions, and so have I.

A simple look at the statistics tells you that Christians give more money to charity, volunteer more to help others, adopt more children, and provide more day-to-day assistance to those around them than any other group of people.  But, is that enough? 

It is also easy to look out on the Christians that I meet and see that they are just as in debt up to their eyeballs as the rest of the world, far too many of their marriages are a wreck just like the rest of the world, they have just as many grudges and broken relationships as the rest of the world, there are racists, political radicals, and hypocrites – just like the rest of the world.  The umbrella of our name contains such people as the hateful Fred Phelps, the charlatans of televangelism, the smooth-talking salesmen like Joel Olsteen, and the senile and grumpy Pat Robertson. 

Is this who we are?  Are we just another club to join that’s just like everyone else in the world, or are we supposed to be something different?

It is easy to criticize other people, to look at the Christians around me and wonder, “Why aren’t you doing more?”  It’s quite popular for Christian book writers, bloggers, and others to disparage other Christian groups: ‘Megachurches are too worldly,’ ‘That group of churches are too judgmental,’ ‘your church isn’t holy if it doesn’t have such and such ministry,’ ‘you should teach this, but you don’t,’ ‘You’re not following Jesus if you…,’ or ‘__________ says (fill in the blank with Donald Miller, N.T. Wright, Rob Bell, John Piper, Bono, or any other name in the pantheon of minor Christian celebrities),’ etc. etc. etc.  But, (and here is a very big but), I have to start with myself. 

When I read Romans 12:1-2, it makes me wonder how transformed I am, or have I remained like the world.  Though Jesus tells me in Mathew 6:1-6 that I am not supposed to show off my good works, he also says in Matthew 5:13-16 that I am supposed to be a light to the world.  Now, I get the difference here: I am not to do good works, such as giving to charity in front of others so that others will see and congratulate me.  And, I’m not supposed to pray high and holy prayers in front of others so they will think that I am über-spiritual.  Ultimately, my personality, my life choices, my financial decisions, by choice of entertainment, the way I treat others, my ego/humility, my attitude, my very being should reflect that I am a changed man because of my relationship to the Messiah.

When you meet me, do you see love?  Am I a joyful person, content in all circumstance?  Am I a peacemaker, bringing others together and being humble enough to seek peace from those I’ve hurt and those who have hurt me?  Am I patient (I know I definitely need some work here).  Do I exude kindness, do I treat others as if they are better than me?  Am I good?  Do I consistently try to make the right choice daily, or do I make a lot of selfish choices?  Am I faithful, can my God, my wife, my family, and my friends count on my loyalty and support?  Am I gentle to those around me, not bullying, not being pushy, not ignoring those who need help?  Do I exhibit self-control, willing to accept delayed gratification, being temperate in what I eat, how I spend, what I own, and how I deal with people?

Do I exhibit generosity, even when I don’t have much?

Do I seek reconciliation, even when I am the one who was wronged?

Do I love people, even those who are difficult to love?

Do I care for others, not just those who look like me?

Do I treat people well, even those who persecute me?

Do I struggle with my faith, trying to put into practice, or do I just do religious service as a habit?

Am I actually relevant because I make a difference, or am I just trying to be relevant by acting a certain way?

When other’s look at me, is my life different enough from the materialistic, self-centered, values of the rest of the world that they are puzzled by it?

These questions and thoughts aren’t meant to be narcissistic, navel-gazing.  These are the questions and thoughts I would ask of any member of my congregation, any one that I mentor, any of my children, and anyone who claims to follow Jesus.  If we aren't struggling with this, perhaps we should be.  Our very message of hope is diminished if it looks to everyone else that it hasn't made a difference in our own lives.

These are questions that I struggle with and I’m not always very happy with the honest answers.  But, God help me, I’m trying.

It is my hope to be like an Easter egg sitting in the middle of a box of plain old white eggs.  I want to be gloriously different enough that people can tell the difference (not to glorify myself, but to point to the God that I serve).  I just hope that I’m not the cracked one. 

Am I different enough?

Are you?