Don't Judge Me, But......

“Please don’t judge me, but……..” In my job, I meet a lot of people who have questions. They almost always start out the conversation with a funny request. “Please don’t judge me, but…” They then go on to share some personal story about life issues and end asking what to do about the situation they are in. They want answers, but they don’t want me to use judgment. Invariably the question that they have or the situation that they are in is because of poor life choices.

Now, I know what they mean here. They don’t want me to wag a finger in their face and belittle them for being an evil sinner. I can honestly say that I have never wagged my finger in someone’s face when they came to me with such a question, but it’s funny that they seem to expect something along these lines.

“Judge not, lest ye be judged!!!” is another form of this that I hear. It seems to be the one Bible verse that everyone seems to know. They also, all seem to know the King James Version as if that makes it more powerful. This is generally said when someone has done something sufficiently awful enough that they already know it was bad and don’t want to hear about it.

Judgment.

What’s wrong with judgment.

Is it always a bad thing?

Is it ever a good thing?

When I drive up to the auto dealer and see the guy come out with the polyester suit and slick hair who gives me a price, “just cuz it’s you.” I immediately apply judgment to the situation. If not, I drive off in a junky car that I paid too much for.

When someone comes up to me and tells me that I can make money just by purchasing this box of stuff and then getting three other people under me and three other people under them and so on. I immediately apply judgment to the situation. If not, I end up with a box of cleaning supplies that no one wants and a sales bit that no one else is going to fall for.

When I open the jug of milk and it smells bad, I immediately apply some judgment. If not, I end up tossing my cookies from food poisoning. Been there, done that, got the stains on my T-shirt.

When I want to cross the road at Central and Thomas, and see the ‘Don’t Walk’ sign, I immediately apply judgment to the situation. If not, I end up squished underneath the Light Rail Train. I’m pretty sure that would hurt.

Judgment is not a bad thing, but the application or lack of application may be.

When I see a young girl who has gotten pregnant and is now having problems because her boyfriend is a jerk, I wonder why she didn’t apply a healthy helping of judgment before having sex with the guy.

When I meet someone who is in terrible financial trouble because they bought a house they couldn’t really afford, are in debt for two cars that are out of their realistic price range and have thousands of dollars of credit card debt; I wonder if the judicial use of judgment might actually benefit them.

When a guy comes complaining that his wife is divorcing him because she busted him sleeping around with her best friend, I wonder if a bit of judgment might just be in order.

Perhaps our society might do with some more judgment. Just a little smidge here and a dab there. Perhaps this is a niche industry that some entrepreneurial type might invest in. Let’s hire a bunch of older ladies in their 60s and 70s to be surrogate judgers. We could rent them out to everyday people. The grannies would follow you around and smack you in the back of the head each time you should use a little judgment.

"Hmmm. Maybe I’ll sneak out of work early today, the boss’ll never know." (((((SLAP)))))

"Hey Liz, my wife is out of town tonight, wanna go out?" (((((SLAP)))))

"Oh baby, of course I’ll love you in the morning." (((((SLAP))))) (((((SLAP))))) (one for each of them)

After awhile, Grannie wouldn't even have to slap you every time. She could just wag her finger and you'd stop and actually think about what you are doing. You might even use a little judgment.

A little judgment applied judicially at the right place and right time just might be the ticket. I really think this idea could catch on. Anyone want to take me up on the business side of this? I’ll have to copyright the idea. Maybe I’ll invest my life savings in hiring Grandmas.

(((((SLAP)))))