Stumbling Through Nostalgia

In the past several months, through the magic of Facebook, I have been stumbling through nostalgia. I have reconnected with some old friends and acquaintances from my grade school and junior high school years. I don’t know about most people, but I’d honestly rather forget most of what happened during those years. In fact, I’d rather have my fingernails pulled out without anesthesia rather than face some of those memories (for the record, I have recently experienced having part of my fingernail pulled out – it hurts).

However, having stumbled on to an old friend on Facebook, I began to encounter others. Some found me and wanted to be friends and I found others, including those whom I don’t want to be friends with. I wandered around a few fan sites for my old schools, checking out other people who were in my classes as well as pictures from the schools. I even went so far as to pull out an old year book to compare pictures. My friend looked pretty much like an older version of himself then. He hadn’t changed much. I found a girl that I had a huge crush on in eighth grade. She’s not so pretty anymore. I found out that one of the bullies that I had to deal with died violently a few years ago. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Memory is a funny thing. As I looked at old pictures and tried to remember things, I realized how skewed my memories had become over the years. Things that I thought I clearly remembered were actually different. Faces were different than they were in my head. Places in the school looked completely wrong. Even the map that I have in my head of my hometown doesn’t reflect reality. Many of these memories had a surreal feeling to them as I explored the reality. It was as if I was viewing them through a filter, like an old movie reel.

I don’t know what bearing this has on the world, but for me, there are many memories that I don’t really want to be crystal clear in my mind. I’d rather not remember too clearly those years of puberty. I really don’t want to have the pain of loss from a loved one stay razor sharp for the rest of my life. The fear I remembered watching my wife in childbirth and heading off for c-section is something I don’t want to be fresh in my mind on a daily basis.

I’m not sure why our memories fade so,

but it is probably a gift.

Financial Tip # 10 - It Ain't My Fault

The recent crash in our financial markets that destroyed our economy for the last two years has been blamed primarily on banks (although, for some reason, our beloved leaders in Washington are focusing on fixing Wall Street.) I worked for 13 years in banking and can honestly tell you that the banks ARE largely to blame for some of the practices that lead to this fiasco. They sold complicated loan products to people to buy houses they couldn’t afford. They encouraged people to refinance and take money out for debt consolidation and for home improvements. They even gave loans that were purposely worth more than the house was appraising for at the time. And that makes it all the bank’s fault right? Let’s punish those greedy, evil, fat cats sitting in their plush offices, because they are responsible for predatory lending. Right?

Yes. At least partly so.

But let’s not forget that other people had a part in this too. The government required banks to give loans in areas that were high risk and to people who were high risk through the Fair Housing Act of 1968, the Home Mortgage Disclosure Act of 1975 and most importantly through the Community Reinvestment Act of 1977. They then established companies like Sallie Mae and Freddie Mac who guarantee credit for student loans and home loans to those who cannot afford (or cannot qualify for) them under normal lending guidelines. These laws, while well intentioned, helped create a house of cards that was destined to fall. So let’s blame the government. Right?*

It’s funny how we like to take complex situations and narrow the blame down to one single person or group of people. That way, we feel better about ourselves forget that the problem ever happened.

Except, there is one more group of people that we mustn’t forget. Not Wall Street Investors. Not Bankers. Not the government. Who could we possibly blame then?

It’s you and I. It is us and all of our friends and neighbors. To quote the old Sunday cartoon, Pogo, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” We are all at fault.

• Every person who took out a mortgage on a house that was well outside of their budgetary range and didn’t realize how deep they were is responsible.
• Everyone who signed on the dotted line for an adjustable rate mortgage that they didn’t understand is at fault.
• Each person who accepted cashout on a mortgage to buy things such as cars, boats, toys, or other items because the broker told them that they could do it shares the blame.
• All those who had B and C credit who went to mortgage brokers and bought a home or got a second mortgage with a future balloon payment or a 125% equity product because they believed the loan officer about their ability to repay it shares the liability for the failure.
• Anyone who financed their car for five or six years so they could buy a more expensive car with lower payments because the finance guy showed them how it would work, shoulders part of this burden.

We have to be honest that it is our own greed and lack of education that got us here.

This is our last and final financial lesson in this series. You HAVE to educate yourself.

Yes, financial issues are complicated. These concepts are hard to understand. If you can’t define amortization, APR, equity, cost basis, accrual, escrow, LTV, per diem interest, PITI, no-load index fund, capital gain, prime rate, ZBA, REIT, or RESPA; then you need to get educated before you go into a bank or before you begin investing.

Yes, this stuff is hard. I'm sure there are some strange accounting types for whom this stuff is enjoyable. They're probably good a poker too. I'm not one of those people. I worked for years in banking and only learned a small portion of the financial information that I need to know. I did tax analysis on some of the most complicated taxes for companies and individuals seeking financing. I worked with first and second mortgages, with a mortgage broker, and in dealer financing. I understand lending quite well, but when it comes time to invest money, I have to study the products. When it came time to do my taxes as a pastor (the IRS has some really weird regulations regarding pastors), I had to learn about it.

Don’t let your rush to purchase something blind you to the need to understand it. Don’t fall victim to your finances because reading all that paperwork is mind-numbing and difficult. Greed and laziness will be your downfall when it comes to your money.

If you want to be poor and in debt all your life, keep buying things with credit, keep trusting what bankers and brokers tell you, and never get educated on money and finances. There is no one responsible for your financial issues but you.

Don’t stand there and blame everyone else. Take responsibility for your finances and do something about it.

Want to get educated? Here are some of my recommendations:

Dave Ramsey – www.daveramsey.com – writer and radio host, Dave teaches you about how to become debt free and how to gain control of your money. I believe that he would agree with much of what I have written in these last ten segments. My wife and I recently found his program and, though we were already working towards living debt free, we changed to his model because there are parts that make a lot of sense. I recommend following his baby steps, found in his book Total Money Makeover.

Crown Financial Ministries – www.crown.org – a Christian ministry that provides financial education for people. I have not personally used their program but know several churches that do.

Feed the Pig – www.feedthepig.org – lots of great tools and information on saving money and getting control of your finances.

FDIC Money Smart - http://www.fdic.gov/consumers/consumer/moneysmart/index.html A government program for educating people about finances. They have some good resources, but I have to wonder if anyone in congress has had any financial education.

My Money – www.mymoney.gov – Another government website teaching financial literacy. Wow, with all these tools, you’d think we could pass a balanced budget.

The Dummies Series - http://www.dummies.com/how-to/personal-finance.html - I love the ‘for Dummies’ series of books. They are written by subject matter experts, but are written in laymen’s terms. They have a whole series on personal finance and budgeting. They are definitely worth your time.

Disclaimer: I am not a trained financial advisor, I just play one on this blog. Seriously. Get good financial advice in life. My information comes primarily from personal experience, working in consumer lending in the banking industry, and watching friends, family, and parishioners struggle. But, much of this is common sense; most people just don't use their common sense when it comes to financial matters.

* Note: If you are a Republican, feel free to blame President Obama or Clinton. If you are a Democrat, feel free to blame President Bush or Reagan. It’s never your party’s fault.**

** If you fail to note the extreme sarcasm here, please insert your voter registration card in your nearest paper shredder. Then, take the pieces and burn them with a lighter. Take the leftover ashes and flush them down the toilet and never, ever vote again.

Financial Tip # 9 - Planting Trees

We just had two new trees planted at the church today; they were a donation in memory of Mark Tibben, a former member who passed away recently. These skinny little trees are just under two inches in diameter and about nine feet tall with a little foliage on them, but not much. I’m told that in a few years they will grow quite large, ultimately with a spread of about 35-45 feet on their branches. Within ten to fifteen years these trees will grow over 20 feet and can get up to 40-60 in height with care.

Planting a tree is a hope-filled act. They provide no shade today and little in the next few years. But, there is hope. In later years these trees will bring joy to many other people. Children will climb in the branches. Teens will cuddle in the shade. Picnic blankets will be thrown under the branches. Parents will point out bird’s nests to their preschoolers. Deep discussions will be had and perhaps a few naps.

When we are looking at our money, we need to remember an incredibly key point: you have to give some away. The Bible is replete with God’s desire that we provide for the poor, shelter the homeless, clothe the naked, adopt the orphan, and support the widows in need. This is how you plant trees with your finances.

There are few greater joys in life than giving away some of what God has provided for you. Many people use a 10 percent rule, but don’t let that limit you. When you give money away to a good cause, it changes you. You grow too. You experience joy too. It’s not just about the person receiving the gift.

Let me encourage you to recognize the power of wealth freely given. It doesn’t take much, but it will grow if you let it. I once worked with a guy who was always on to the next get-rich-quick scheme. He once told me, “Rodger, I want to be rich so that one day, I can make a big donation to a church, or have a homeless shelter built in my name. I want to do good with my money when I get there.”

I then asked him the hard question, “How much did you give to others last week?”

“Why nothing,” he said, “I’m not rich yet.”

“If you aren’t giving when you have a little, then you won’t give when you have more,” was my reply.

I have observed in life, that it is often the poorest people who are the most generous. I hope I made him think. I don’t know if he ever made giving a habit, but I hope so.

Generosity is a lifestyle and it is one that can touch people’s lives. Every year, I take a group of high schoolers to a summer conference that occurs on college campuses in California or Colorado. There is always a point during the week where we have an evening off and go off to do some fun activity such as white water rafting, horseback riding, or go to the beach. Taking a dozen teens into town can be challenging. A few years ago, we took the group to a Mexican restaurant for dinner on our free night and the kids were a little rowdy and silly. So, when we collected money from everyone for dinner and a tip, I asked each kid to give above their normal tip amount so that we could bless the poor waitress that put up with us. The adult volunteers and I did the same. When all was said and done, we paid $150 for the meal and left $150 for tip!!! We quickly left, because I didn’t want to be there when she found the tip. We went into town and walked around for a few hours waiting for time for our next event. At one point, I realized that I needed to use the restroom and all of the businesses had signs that said “no public restrooms.” I decided to go back to the restaurant, since I had been a customer there and it was only a few blocks away. When I walked in, our waitress saw me and glumly said, “I figured you’d be back. You paid too much.” I smiled really big at here and said, “No, I know how much we left you, that was all a tip for you. God bless you.” She got tears in her eyes and quietly said, “Thank you,” then started crying and turned towards the back. I will never know what all was going on in her life, but I know we touched her life that day.

Let me recommend that you plant some trees (figuratively). Invest in someone else by providing for their needs. Donate money to a local church ministry. Give to a homeless shelter. Write a check to an afterschool program for poor families. Leave a big tip for a waiter or waitress. Be generous.

Let me ask this also, spend your money on people. I know that there are hundreds of charities out there that help animals and the rainforest and other such causes. Don’t be afraid to give to them too, but let me ask that your primary giving be towards helping people. Life is short and can be very brutal for some people, so let’s work together to touch their lives. There is a lot of hurt out there and never enough people willing to help.

Planting trees is an act of hope. So is generosity. It gives you hope in humanity and it gives other people hope in humanity. It changes everyone it touches and, just like trees, acts of generosity will continue to spread joy for years to come.

When you get your next paycheck this month, take something from it and give it away.

Plant a tree of generosity.

If you need some suggestions of places to donate, here are a few local, national, and international organizations that I can recommend:

Phoenix Rescue Mission – www.phoenixrescuemission.org – Helps provide shelter, food, and skills training to assist homeless men, women, and families.

Streetlight Ministries - www.streetlightphx.org – Helps rescue underage girls forced into prostitution at an average age of 13 years old. Provides drug rehab, job training, GED classes, and counseling as well as shelter and a home until they can take care of themselves.

HOW Home – www.thisishowhome.org – provides a home and helping hand to transgendered people living on the streets. Helps them get back their life.

Rapha House – www.raphahouse.org – an international group committed to stop sex slavery in Southeast Asia. Provides housing and job training for teen and preteen girls (as young as six) to get out of forced prostitution.

The Dream Center – www.dreamcenter.org – Provides help for the poorest and most marginalized people in Los Angeles, New York, and Phoenix.

World Vision – www.wvi.org – Provides immediate international emergency relief in disaster and war torn areas of the world and long term help to villages and communities through child sponsorship, education, clean water wells, etc.

Mountain View Christian Church Benevolence Fund – www.mvccaz.com – Our church (and most other churches) maintains a Benevolence fund which provides immediate financial assistance with food, rent, and utility bills to those in need. This money goes directly to those in the immediate community who are in need and does NOT pay salaries, building repairs, or any other day-to-day costs. You can contact us at 602-955-9414 if you want to make a donation to this fund OR, call up almost any church or synagogue to do the same.

Disclaimer: I am not a trained financial advisor, I just play one on this blog. Seriously. Get good financial advice in life. My information comes primarily from personal experience, working in consumer lending in the banking industry, and watching friends, family, and parishioners struggle. But, much of this is common sense; most people just don't use their common sense when it comes to financial matters.

Financial Tip # 8 - What is Between Before and After?

You see it all over the internet. It’s in magazines, newspapers, and on television: The Two Picture advertisement. The picture on the right-side shows a very attractive woman. She’s thin, toned, and usually wearing a bikini. Her hair is done up and her makeup is perfect. That’s the “After” shot. The left side, the picture you should have looked at first shows a different woman. She’s not so pretty. She’s fat, wearing frumpy clothes, an out of date hairstyle, and only draws your eye in mockery of the other picture. That’s the “Before” shot. Sometimes these ads use men, in which case you see a dumpy guy with love handles magically transformed into a muscular, ripped hunk who somehow has more hair and got tanned. The suggestion of these advertisements is usually that, if you use the instant diet/fast-working cream/15-minute program/etc. that they are selling, you too will go from bumpy to beautiful in no time at all.

Let’s be honest here. Life just doesn’t work that way. There are NO magic potions. No matter what you choose to lose weight, there is pain and work involved if you really want to lose the weight. I have a friend, Danny, who used to weigh close to 500 pounds. It took him about three years of working out and eating healthy to reach a healthy and muscular 250 pounds. He now helps other people do the same. He’ll tell you that there aren’t any magic potions or pill, just will-power, accountability, discipline, effort, and time. Personally, I have struggled with weight and have taken almost four years to lose 70 pounds. That’s four years of struggle, falling down and getting back up, eating right, working out, etc.

This brings us to our financial tip of today: There is space between the before and after. If you want to have a relatively secure financial situation, it takes work. If you want to be wealthy, you have to have discipline. If you want to be in control of your money it takes effort. If you want to be debt free and no longer a slave to your creditors, it takes time. There are plenty of books, cd's, and programs that promise you get-rich-quick ideas, but these just don't generally work. It takes real work to get there.

Hard work is not a four-letter word (yes, I know it is two four letter words). Discipline didn’t use to be a bad word. Our culture has become saturated by get rich quick schemes. Microwave food, fast food restaurants, instant financing, quick money making opportunities… Now, now, now. The problem is, this type of attitude just doesn’t work for most people. Sure, some people do hit that big idea that turns them into an instant millionaire. But, most of your millionaires didn’t get there that way.

I’m not a millionaire. I’m just a guy who sees the pain and suffering that friends and family suffer in the throws of debt and I know there is a better way. It just takes hard work.

Don’t be afraid to sit down and look at your real financial situation. It’s like taking out a camera and taking your before shot. Your finances may be bumpy, ugly, and not something you want to look at; but, with brutal honest, hard work, accountability, and discipline, you can have sexy finances too. Not through magic potions, but through work.

Hard work and discipline worked for our grandparents, getting them through the Great Depression. It works for immigrants and refugees who come here with nothing. Let it work for you too.

Just remember, it takes time to get from Before to After.

Proverbs 13:11 - Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.

By the way, if you want Danny to help you get from Before to After in your weight loss goals, he can be found at www.dviiifitness.com. I promise you, he will help you, but you will have to work hard for it.

Disclaimer: I am not a trained financial advisor, I just play one on this blog. Seriously. Get good financial advice in life. My information comes primarily from personal experience, working in consumer lending in the banking industry, and watching friends, family, and parishioners struggle. But, much of this is common sense; most people just don't use their common sense when it comes to financial matters.