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| The flame that I lit in Al's memory. |
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Here is the full story:
I did not grow up with religion. My parents had briefly gone to the Jehovah’s Witnesses around the time I was seven or eight years old, but that stopped quickly and I never really went to church after that. I grew up with a bent towards debate and argument. This was not the gentle sort of argument but an arrogant and self-assured idea that I was right about everything, and you’d better agree or I would pound you into submission with all the arguments I could muster.
This only got worse as I got out of High School and went into college for the first time. I thoroughly enjoyed tweaking religious people's noses in arguments. I pretty much always believed in a Creator, but never knew who he/she/it/they could be. I did a lot of research, reading the major religious 'bibles' and reading about religions, but never believed any of them - generally because of major inconsistencies in their belief systems and the way I saw the believers act.
During college, I worked part time at a bank and ultimately ended up staying there as a department manager. One of my employees was a Christian named Judy and was the wife of a pastor. Judy good-naturedly began talking to me about Christ. Though I usually got into knock-down/drag-out arguments with people who tried to evangelize me, I liked Judy and so I discussed it with her on several occasions. Though I am sure that my outlook on religion was frustrating for her, she was honest and open about mistakes of the Church and that impressed me. During one of our many conversations, I was frustrating Judy again and she suddenly stopped and said, "One day, God is gonna get you and when He does, He is going to use you for some great work. He might even make you a pastor." I laughed. But I never forgot her saying that.
When my fiancé and I were looking to get married, Judy’s husband Al was the only pastor that I knew, so we asked him to perform the ceremony. At the same time, we began visiting a local church to find out about renting the facility.
Pastor Al said he would agree to perform the ceremony, only after we had pre-marital counseling. We agreed to meet with him. I had my doubts because I figured that he would use this opportunity to ‘cram religion down my throat’ (what a silly concept, but that’s what I thought). I was ready for him, I had all my arguments marshaled and was ready to fight.
On the first night of pre-marriage counselling, Pastor Al didn’t talk a lot about religion, but asked us many questions about ourselves and our relationship. He ended the evening by telling us that he would not perform the ceremony because Becky and I had such disparate belief systems that would eventually tear us apart. I left angry and my wife-to-be left in tears. At her urging, called him back the next day to talk about it. I asked if we could meet again and said I was willing to listen. He agreed and we all went out to a restaurant for dinner and discussion. My wife Becky and his wife Judy sat there all night saying almost nothing as Al and I talked it out.
I lead the conversation off by telling him that I didn’t want his religion because the Bible was full of errors and Christians were a bunch of hypocrites. He smiled and picked up a Bible that he had on the seat and slid it across the table to me. “Errors, huh?, show me one,” he said, looking right through me with a stern but amused stare. I knew several off the top of my head, but didn’t know where to find them. I never needed to in the past; all the other Christians I’d met crumbled when I started listing them.
We closed down that restaurant that night. We talked until they made us leave. He answered every question I had, dealt with every argument logically, and challenged my thinking. He admitted when he didn’t have all the answers and he too talked about the mistakes that the church has made in the past. When we left that night, he agreed to meet again and reconsider the wedding.
Al ultimately did perform the ceremony for us, though I wasn’t a Christian. It was several more years of study and questioning before I became a Christian. Judy was right, though, once God got a hold on my, He hasn’t let go. He has used me for many things, some great and some small, and I believe that He has more in store. Judy was right about one other thing… I am a pastor now.
Thank you Al and Judy.
Postscript: Pastor Al passed away in 2006 and I never got to tell him, “Thank You” in person. Though it saddens me and fills me with regret, I live with the promise that one day I will see him again and be able to tell him then.
