Lighten Up!

“Hey Fatso, you’re a little piggy.” 

Sixth Grade.   

Mean Kids. 

It was the first time I ever remember being called fat, or even thinking of myself that way.  Looking back, I was always the fat kid in class.  Always the slow one in Phys. Ed.  Always the one uncomfortable in the clothes that didn’t fit well.  That was me: Fatty McFatterson.

There are voices now that are calling for an end to “Fat-shaming.”  They say, we should all be happy with just who we are. I am here to offer another point of view on that.

I shared the story of being called fat, because those are my credentials.  My school pictures show it.  My memories are burned with it.  I have fought my weight for years.

But please…  Don’t give me a free pass.

I don’t want it.

You see, I now volunteer at a local high school each week.  I am on campus and I have noticed something disturbing:  There is no fat kid.

 

That’s right, there is no fat kid.

There are A LOT of them.

When I was young, the fat kid was a rarity.  Now, the schools are full of them.  And, they aren’t just a little bit overweight, not just a bit chubby, or could stand to lose a pound or two.  Now, there are easily a third of these young adults who would be classified as morbidly obese! Another third are probably on their way to that classification.

There are dozens of fifteen and sixteen year old kids who outweigh me!  Most of them are even shorter than me, too.  Stop and consider what I am saying here.  High schoolers, kids, under six feet tall and weighing 250, 300 pounds, or more.  What’s more, P.E. is no longer required here in Phoenix.  The kids just have to take a health class or (get this) they can take P.E. online.  Yeah, read that again.  Physical education by sitting in front of your computer. 

This bodes ill for our future as a nation.  Type II diabetes, cancer, heart disease, back problems, knee problems, high-blood pressure, kidney disease, liver disease – all are increased with every pound you carry.

I’m not suggesting that we go back to bullying fat kids or calling names.  And yes, there is a danger of emphasizing weight and causing eating disorders, but perhaps it is time to consider that encouraging obesity or letting it be OK is not the right idea either.  It’s not heartless to do the right thing.  (or is that the light thing?)

I have a friend who is a High School P.E. teacher.  I regularly tell him, “Tomorrow, when class starts, have a fat kid run a lap for me.  Tell him it’s a gift from a fellow fat kid.”  I’m only partly kidding when I tell him that; I wish I had people who made me be a bit more active as a child.

 

It’s easy to complain about a problem, but I believe in solutions.  So here’s mine:

Let’s give something up to add in Physical Education.  Every single year of school.  Let’s get these kids out on playgrounds, into the gymnasium, running, jumping, and playing.  How about we give up algebra class.  Let’s be honest, most of these kids will never do a logarithm after high school.  Perhaps we could just start the first half hour of every single day with calisthenics, every single day of school from preschool through twelfth grade. 

 

Let’s encourage healthy eating.  Stop giving Michelle Obama trouble about pushing this as an issue.  Whether you agree with her husband’s politics or not, she is absolutely right, we must start being healthier as a nation.  Further, we as parents need to step up too.  Is it hard to offer healthy portions and healthy food.  Yes, it is.  It’s also hard getting kids to do their homework, finish their chores, and make a hundred other difficult choices.  That doesn’t excuse us from teaching those things.  Let us be the example too.  Eat your veggies and get active.  Stop eating so much fast food, and begin getting active.

It’s not a good thing for us to be so heavy as a nation.  

Let’s do the ‘light’ thing here.

Let’s lighten up.

No more fat kids.

Now, pardon me while I get up off my hypocritical butt and go work out.

Signed,

Your Friendly Neighborhood (Former) Fat Kid

My Jewish Mother

I am a fraud.

I’m a fake.

A hypocrite.

When I preach on Sunday, you can see it. Be honest. I know you do. When I counsel self-control, I know you have to be questioning the validity of my advice.

I struggle and I cannot seem to control myself. I eat too much. There, I said it. I love food. I love to cook it and love to eat it. I love the sensuality of it. I eat when I am happy, I eat when I am sad. I eat out of frustration and I eat out of boredom. I have no self-control in this area. And thus, I am obese.

I have fought this issue of weight my entire life. I can remember as early as nine or ten years old being called the fat kid. I have dieted and exercised on and off again my entire adult life with limited bouts of success and long periods of complete breakdown. I’ve tried diet plans, exercise regimens, hypnotherapy, counseling, and accountability groups. None of these have had long term success for me and many have been utter failure. I’ve faced disappointment time and time again.

Four years ago, I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. This is worse than a death sentence. This disease is degenerative and wreaks havoc with your internal systems. Heart attack, kidney failure, liver problems, nerve damage, cancer, neuropathy, digestive issues, blindness, immunodeficiency, and limb amputation are just some of the issues that arise from diabetes.

I don’t want to die from a case of the stupids. Even more importantly, I don’t want to live as a pain-ridden, feeble, invalid for years because I cannot control myself. I have a beautiful wife and two lovely daughters who don’t deserve to watch me destroy myself.

So, here is where I am at today. Just over two years ago, I was at 320 pounds. I managed to lose about 40 pounds of that myself, working out until I reached a plateau that I couldn’t seem to get past. I joined a program called Medifast where I have slowly lost about another 15. This doctor-supervised weight loss program really works. I’ve seen it work in my life and in others, but still I struggle. I don’t follow the program as I should. I cheat.

Several weeks ago, I was speaking with one of the program counselors and she asked me why I was having so much trouble and going so slowly. I listed several reasons (most to do with my own failings), but I also mentioned that when I do well, the counselors are nice and encouraging, and when I fail, they just seem to get more peppy and encouraging. I told her, “I need someone who can kick my butt when needed, someone who will tell my when my excuses are bullshit, someone who can encourage me and love on me when necessary, and someone to guilt me and shame me when it’s called for. In short, I need to find me a Jewish mother.” She looked at me slyly and smiled, saying, “That, we might be able to do.”

The next week when I came in for my appointment, the owner of the company came out and said, “Rodger, you’re with me today.” She met with me and told me that she didn’t want to waste her time or mine, but she was taking me on as a special case. She then got serious and had a long hard discussion with me. Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. The punch-line to this joke is that I found out that night that Ilyne IS Jewish. And she is a Mother and Grandmother. So I guess I got exactly what I asked for.

So, now I have a Jewish mother. She seems like a nice lady, but, boy is she tough. Maybe she is exactly what I need.

One of the things that she suggested that I do is to tell everyone around me what my struggle is and ask them to help. So, here goes:

Please don’t go out to lunch with me. Let’s do coffee, instead.

Please don’t give me food as a present. Just spend some time with me.

If you see me eating anything that isn’t a small amount of protein and a salad, please say something.

If you care, please ask me about my progress and encourage me when you see me.

Hold me accountable. Smack me around if need be.

I appreciate any help I can get with this.

I don’t want to be a fat guy anymore.

I don’t want to be a fraud anymore.