Wisdom Is Where You Find It

If you open your eyes, you can learn something just about anywhere. 

For example: A bus stop.

Or, in this case, two bus stops a couple hundred yards around the corner from each other.

I was driving down Thomas Road in Phoenix and passed the first bus stop.  The sign behind it said, “Some people are smarter than you.  Listen to them.” 

“Sage advice from a beer advertisement,” I mused, as I drove on down the road.

Then, as I turned the corner at 32^nd Street, I spied a second bus stop sign, also selling beer:

“The bulk of your life should be off the record,” this one touted.

More wise advice.  Beer advertisements have sure come up in the world in the past 20 years.  No Clydesdales playing football, no bikini clad women in the snow, and no vapid arguments over whether a beer tastes great or is less filling.  All things we can certainly do without.  Well, maybe not the bikini clad snow girls.  Definitely not without them.  Why would anyone drink beer if it weren't for the bikini clad snow girls.  But, I digress.

In this age of Googled answers and Facebook friends, when Snopes can’t keep track of the balderdash and Twitter can’t keep Weiners off the air; it’s refreshing to get some good old-fashioned wisdom from your friendly neighborhood brewery. 

There are people who are smarter than you.  Seek them out and listen to them.  Chances are they don’t live in Hollywood or Washington D.C.  Look for them in your neighborhood.  Most of them are over 70 and have lived long enough to learn a few hard lessons.  Get to know them.  Spend some time.  Learn from them.

And while you are at it, how about keeping most of your life off the record.  I still have to learn this one myself, but let me put it out there.  You don’t need to blather every inane thing in your day on Facebook.  No one cares.  They are too busy broadcasting their own frivolities.

Maybe it’s time to turn off the computer, tune in to the real people around us and drop out of the online world.

 Just for a while…

Wisdom is where you find it.

Truth Found in a Porta-John

The sounds of loud snoring came from the row of porta-johns as I went by. “That’s weird, I hope nothing’s wrong,” I thought. Then I decided, “Someone’s probably joking around, trying to freak people out,” and I went on by to return to my campsite.

To this day, I’m sorry that I did.

Several hours later, a woman came by our campsite. “Have any of you seen Petey?,”she asked.

None of us knew Petey and said so. She then told us that Petey was an old fella who was camping there that lots of people knew. “He’s not healthy,” she said, “and no one has seen him for hours. He has trouble getting around and has breathing problems.”

A terrible realization dawned on me as I told her about the sounds I had heard earlier.

When they checked the porta-johns, they found Petey. The sounds I had heard and ignored were the sounds of a man suffocating to death. After the door had closed, he had fallen in the little space between the door and the toilet and had been unable to get up, and so died suffocating in a porta-john.

I’m not entirely sure where this falls on the scale of ‘Bad ways to die,’ but I’m pretty sure it’s up there on the list.

Had I taken the time to investigate my suspicions, a man might not have died.

I bring this up because, this last Sunday, a woman was sitting in a pew at before church. It appeared she was sleeping and many people passed her by without noticing. Yes, I know it is customary to wait until the sermon to fall asleep, so this must have been unusual. Sharon, our church secretary didn’t pass by. She noticed that things weren’t right, and she saved a life. The lady wasn’t sleeping, she was in diabetic shock with blood glucose in the 20s!!! That’s barely enough to maintain life. If Sharon hadn’t taken the time to notice, then she could have died right then and there.

There is a lesson here that goes far past the issue of life and death. The deeper issue is our awareness of others around us. As we become more and more focused on ourselves and less aware of others, the sense of community dies. We become more and more separated and it becomes harder to care about anyone but ourselves.

Ecclesiastes describes this very situation almost 3000 years ago:

There was a man all alone;
He had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
"For whom am I toiling," he asked,
"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
This too is meaningless -- a miserable business!

Two are better than one.
Because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:8-12

The need to be a part of a community, to be loved, to be cared about is deeply embedded in our soul. The challenge then is this: How do we get our eyes off of ourselves and on to others?

This is not an easy thing to do.

People are difficult. Humanity is messy.

The task is to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. But what if our neighbor is a jerk? What if our family member is cruel? What if our coworker is weird?

It is a whole lot easier to love others if we can be truthful with ourselves. We too can be cruel, weird, and mean. If we can be loved, then we can love others.

I believe this is what the lies behind God’s call for us to love others. It is only by breaking out of our own selfishness and serving others that we begin to improve ourselves. Alone, we are nothing but self serving chemical reactions, but in a community, we become so much more.

Today, make it a point to love someone else.

It doesn’t matter if they share the same beliefs as you. Love them.

It doesn’t matter if they are nice to you. Reach out to them.

It doesn’t matter if they are outgoing or introverted. Pay attention to them.

It doesn’t matter if they have nothing to give back to you. Give to them.

Find yourself by serving others. It is an incredible gift to them and to yourself.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

The rest of the story:

Ironically, Petey turned out to be my first funeral as a minister. Because we were many miles back in the middle of nowhere, we had to wait for the Sheriff to come an investigate the death and the coroner to come and take Petey away. The lady who had originally come looking for Petey came back later and asked, “Wasn’t one of you a preacher or some such?” I said I was a new minister and she replied, “Well, we think Petey was a Presbyterian and figured he’d like it if someone said a few words.” So, 20 minutes later, I found myself doing an impromptu funeral in front of a porta-john, miles from civilization, with a newly dead body on the ground in front of me covered by a sleeping bag. Rest in Peace Petey.

Not a Spectator Sport

“Drumming is not a spectator sport, it’s something you participate in,” he said as he handed me two mallets and pointed me to a set of steel drums, "People don’t participate in music anymore, they listen to it on iPods, they go to concerts, and they watch Dancing with the Stars or American Idol. We've lost that participation in society."

I recently reconnected with someone I had played drums with in High School. I loved music and loved playing. But, during my senior year, I got ticked off at the band director and cussed at him before walking out of the room. Youthful hot-headedness leads to adult regrets. Sadly, I haven't played music since.

Facebook, through its magic, led me to find Wes again. He had been an amazingly talented drummer when he showed up his Freshman year. He went on to become a music teacher in local high schools and community colleges and now teaches private drum instruction. When I found him on Facebook, we agreed to meet over coffee, just to catch up. Over coffee, he told me group of people he meets with to play steel drums for fun. I asked if I could come watch, and he said, “Yes.”

And that’s how I found myself standing there being shown how to play steel drums, one of the few percussion instruments that I never got to play in school. He also put me on drum set and congas, neither of which I had played in 20 years. I didn’t do very well, but I had an amazing time. The music was pretty simple and the rest of the group was nice (and patient with my mistakes). What a blast!

His comment to me as I came in the room, though, got me to thinking. Music isn’t a spectator sport and neither is life. So many people spend their whole lives seeking to be entertained without actually joining in and participating. How many hours are wasted watching T.V. shows, listening to music, playing video games, going to concerts, and attending sporting events?

Why let a dozen guys on the field or court get all the exercise? Pick up a ball, find a friend and go play.

Why watch a band play music on stage? Take some friends and go to karaoke or a drum circle, or just sing some songs around a camp fire.

How much better would our society and our own lives be if we turned off the T.V., music, and video games; and, instead of going to concerts and sporting events, actually began getting involved and doing those things we used to watch.

Living is not a spectator sport, it’s something you participate in.

Thanks for the wisdom, Wes.

Financial Tip # 5 – Listen to Noah

Noah built an ark to survive the coming flood. It took a long time and a lot of work when the skies were bright and beautiful and there was not clue that there was a storm on the horizon. “Ha, ha,” his neighbors would say, “Look at dumb Old Mr. Noah and the stupid ugly boat he’s building on dry land.” When the rains came, they learned their lesson too late as they sunk under the waters while Mr. and Mrs. Noah and family floated safely by. God told Noah to be prepared and now I’m telling you.

OK, I’m taking that out of context for a financial series, but the idea of being prepared is a good one. If you aren’t saving money for a rainy day, then you will be in trouble when the storm comes. As I’ve written these tips, I’ve had several people comment on Facebook and in person about how they had to get a loan because of the position that they were in. That is the message of all of this, if you take control of your finances instead of letting them control you, then there should never come a time when you have to get a loan. This is why payday lenders exist – people don’t have a cushion of savings and investments. This is why car dealers make so much money off of car loans - people aren't prepared to buy their next car because they are still paying on their old one.

Every good financial advisor will tell you that you have to pay yourself first. Now, I would say pay God first (giving) and then pay yourself second, but we’ll talk about giving later in another blog. Right now, we'll talk about savings. This is building a boat before the floods come.

Every single paycheck, put a little back. If you are already in a tough financial position (as most people are), then you may only be able to put a few bucks back at a time. But do it. No excuses. Even if it is five dollars a paycheck right now, take Nike’s advice and just do it. Open a separate savings account at the bank, for which you do not have an ATM card. As each paycheck is deposited, move whatever you can afford over into that account and then DON’T TOUCH IT! This account is only for emergencies. For the record, emergencies do not include buying a better car than the one that you already have that is running. They don’t include dinner out with the family. Vacations are not emergencies.

Ultimately, save back three to six months of expenses and then some. I used to think that this was an impossible goal. But, a little at a time gets you there.

Once you have your cushion, then you begin two new steps: investing for the future and saving for specifics.

Investing for the future means retirement, college for the kids, and future medical expenses. This is done through a good financial advisor with mutual funds, IRAs, 401ks, and the like.

Saving for specific things includes your next vehicle, car maintenance and repair, vacations, house down payment (if you don’t already own one), etc. These can be specific future needs or fun desires. The key is you save for them now and then you won’t use debt to get them later.

Emergencies DO happen. The rains WILL come. The question here is whether you have built a boat to survive the flood or will you be drowning when the waters close over you.

Disclaimer: I am not a trained financial advisor, I just play one on this blog. Seriously. Get good financial advice in life. My information comes primarily from personal experience, working in consumer lending in the banking industry, and watching friends, family, and parishioners struggle. But, much of this is common sense, most people just don't use their common sense when it comes to financial matters.

Dear Eric

Dear Eric,

I wanted to take a moment to say thank you for allowing me to attend your funeral. I never had the privilege of meeting you in life, but I want you to know that your life has touched mine. I understand that your close friends called you “Shoe,” but since I’m not that close, I hope it is not too casual for me to call you Eric.

Earlier this week, a friend of mine, Deputy Moody from the Yavapai County Sheriff’s Department honored me with an invitation to accompany him to the funeral of a fallen officer, murdered in the line of duty. I had heard the details on the news and said a hurried prayer for your family, but truly hadn’t given it much more thought, until Deputy Moody emailed me the invitation.

I joined him and about 2500 officers from all around Arizona and the Nation to honor your sacrifice, to cry with your family, and to mourn your passing. It really was quite a shindig, complete with tears, laughter, and nostalgia. From the descriptions given by your family and friends, I think you might have appreciated it, but probably would have chosen to be somewhere else, skiing, barbecuing, or hanging out with friends.

I have been to quite a few funerals, and I have figured out that some eulogies are merely lip service to a person who hardly mattered or worse, wasn’t liked by those around them. Other services, like yours, show that the person was truly loved, truly touched the people around them, truly made a difference in this world. The stories shared by your friends, family, and fellow officers told the story of a man who loved his daughters, loved a practical joke, and was a big presence in the lives of everyone he met. You lived a life of service and capped it off giving your life in the line of duty.

Speaking about your daughters, I cried for them. My heart ached to see them walk in looking stunned and unsure, living their own private nightmare in front of the world. I prayed for them. Your family shared a picture montage of your life, and it seemed that most of the pictures were of you and one or both of your daughters, smiling, playing, and loving. As a dad myself, I respect you for that, and I hurt that much more because a good dad was taken far too early. How can you put a price on the loss of a hundred piggyback rides that will never happen, thousands of hugs from daddy that they’ll never get, and never getting to be walked down the aisle by you.

I hope it helped your family some to see the processional. What an amazing experience that was; hundreds of police cars driving along with lights flashing on the trip to the grave side service. People lined the road, many stopping their cars to get out and watch, hands over their hearts. Many people had brought their children out, holding them up to wave as the police cars passed. Others waved American flags or held signs of respect for you and encouragement for your family. That is respect for a man who most definitely deserved it. It’s a shame that it takes this type of event for people to show respect to officers such as you.

I can say this much, policemen really know how to throw a hell of a funeral. Helicopters flew overhead in a missing man formation. They led a horse with the boots facing backwards in the stirrups. Taps was played, followed by the skirl of bagpipes and a 21 gun salute. An honor guard from dozens of police, sheriff, and fire departments watched over your family and your body on the procession to graveside. The American flag was removed from your coffin and given to your family. I cried again when they gave your final radio call. Thousands of officers wept for you and your family. It was sure something to see all those burly, rough-tough men and women crying and sniffling.

I’m hate that there are evil men in this world like the scum who shot you and shot at other officers that terrible night. It’s too bad that they were only wounded in the return fire. To quote the Sergeant who spoke at your funeral, “It’s too bad that the one who shot you didn’t die, but we all know that cockroaches don’t always die when you squash them.” I’m pretty sure that wasn’t a politically correct thing to say, but I’m glad he said it. We were all thinking it. The one shining thing in all of this is that there are men and women warriors like you, patrolling our streets, protecting the good people from the evil ones. Another appropriate quote in this situation goes something like this, “good men sleep safe in their beds because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” Thank you for being one of those rough men.

The saddest part about all of this is that the world goes on. The ones who were responsible will go to prison and live on. Even if one or both of them receive the death penalty, it will be decades before justice is served. Your family whose hearts ache right now with raw sorrow, must keep going. Your girls will grow up with a hole in their hearts, but will have to make it, even if they don't see how right now. Fellow officers must keep patrolling, risking their lives daily, just as you did. The community keeps living, the world keeps turning, and you will be forgotten by most. That is the harshest injustice of it all. That’s why I chose to write this letter to you. Someone has to remember.

Thank you, Lieutenant Shuhandler for your service. 10-7, your duty is over. Your fellow officers will take up the duty. Your model of service will guide them. I only hope that I can live up to your example of fatherhood and of service. Thank again and rest in peace.

A Friend Who Never Knew You,

Rodger S. Loar

Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for another. John 15:13

If you are touched by this story and actually want to do something - please consider making a donation to the 100 Club of Phoenix that provides for the families of fallen police officers and firefighters.

www.100club.org

Also, if you see a police officer this week, stop and shake their hand and thank them for their service.

Ten Ways to Be a Better Dictator

I’ve always wanted to rule the world. I’m pretty sure I could do a better job of it than any of the existing people. I would be a benevolent dictator to all who adore me. This effort will take time, but any thing worth doing is worth doing well.

Here are ten great ideas on accomplishing my goal of world domination.

(NOTE – JUST IN CASE YOU CAN’T TELL, THIS IS TONGUE-IN-CHEEK AND JUST BEING SILLY)

Ten Ways to Be a Better Dictator:

1. Good Propaganda Machine – Every great dictator started as a revolutionary. As a revolutionary, your only power is in propaganda, so make it count. Use the most current technology and lots of slick, glossy marketing. Have a good tagline that doesn’t really mean anything, but sounds good.
2. Have a Solid Team of Power Hungry Toadies – Someone’s gotta do all that paperwork. If you’re gonna be a dictator, what fun is it if you have to stay in the office all day running things. Since you rule the world, you can just pop over to your vacation home in Hawaii and let a few toadies do the hard stuff. Sycophants can be really useful for drudge work.
3. Purge Regularly – Now, this is the hard part. You have to clear out your staff occasionally, because they will become too powerful otherwise. You can shoot a few if you want, but the best idea is to send them to “Re-education Camps” in some awful part of the world like Siberia or New Jersey.
4. Crush Opposition – This is another ugly part, but must be done. Shooting people is messy, so you need to get yourself a team of people who attack the opposition by researching their past and questioning their character. If nothing is there, of course this team will make something up. You can also use your propaganda machine to point out that you are all about helping the little guy, therefore your opposition must hate the little guy. This helps get all those little guys on your side.
5. Promise People Anything – Those little guys I just mentioned aren’t very powerful, but there are a lot of them, so you have to treat them right. Since they are mostly stupid anyway and will vote for anyone who promises them something, without actually thinking it through, just promise them anything and they’ll support you.
6. Charisma, Charisma, Charisma – Get a good makeover. Have people teach you the best public speaking, get experts to help you have the best hair and body you can. Smile a lot and say things that don’t mean anything but sound good.
7. Control the Argument – Since all those little guys don’t think through their vote anyway, you can just tell them how they should vote. Don’t give them all the facts, it’ll just confuse them. Couch everything in the best jingoistic patriotic terms and help them to feel good because, by supporting you, you’ll give them everything they want (see # 5 above).
8. Control the Media – Make friends with all kinds of famous people. They’re mostly stupid too, so just tell them that they are pretty and invite them to parties where they will rub shoulders with other famous people. Have them help you in some silly cause that sounds good but doesn’t really accomplish anything, like “Save the Broccoli,” or “Ban Dihydrogen Oxide.” Invite the newspapers and television people too so they’ll be on board and never question your methods where the little people might find out.
9. Have the Look – You have to have a signature. Maybe a beret, or a good cigar. The little mustache thing has been done, but find something that will be your signature so people will think you are cool and try to emulate you.
10. Learn From the Past – all the best dicators have made mistakes, so you need to learn from them so you won’t fail too. Here are a few that might he

• Don’t attack Russia in winter. This is one mistake dictators keep making over and over. I’m not quite sure what anyone wants with Russia anyway.
• Don’t shoot all the intelligent people. Somebody has to get things done.
• Don’t shoot all the farmers. Someone has to grow the food.
• Don’t shoot all your best generals in the middle of a war. Duh.
• Don’t attack America militarily. Just offer them free stuff and they’ll vote themselves into a dictatorship. Don’t tell them that they are really the ones paying for the ‘free stuff’.
• Don’t bother attacking the French. Save them for last and they’ll just surrender anyway.

Thank you for reading my Top Ten lists. I hope you’ll vote for me in the next election. If not, you may be sent to a re-education camp. You can call me, “Señor Presidente.” And I shall call you my people.

Ten Ways to Be a Better Shot

Peering down the barrel, through the rear sight, focusing on the front sight, breathing slowly and carefully. There is the target. Aim carefully, move your finger to the trigger. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly, then press the trigger. BANG!!! Another great shot.

I love shooting. I do some hunting and some range target shooting, but the most fun thing in the whole world to me, is to spend a Saturday plinking in the desert. I’m a pretty good shot, not an expert, but with my .22, I can hit just about anything I see.

If you’ve never been shooting and want to learn, talk to me. I’ve taught dozens of people to shoot and trust me, it is a lot of fun.

One thing I can tell you about shooting guns is this…It is similar to golf in that there is no one single way to be an excellent shot, but many. You have to learn one good methodology that works for your body type, arm strength, dominant shooting eye, etc. Then, practice that a lot. The worst thing you can do is get tips from a bunch of different people. That’ll screw up your shooting fast.

Here are Ten Ways to Be a Better Shot:

1. Safety – This should be obvious but somehow people miss it. If you shoot yourself dead, you’ll never get to be a good shot. As a gun owner, I HATE to hear stories of kids who shoot themselves because they found Daddy’s loaded pistol in the desk drawer. Mine are locked in a gun safe. Period. Also, I occasionally see people out shooting who are screwing around pointing the guns anywhere but down range. If I see this, I leave. You can have a lot of fun shooting, but safety has to be a primary concern.
2. Have Two X Chromosomes – Sorry guys, but I have found it to be true that chicks make better shooters than dudes (at least from the beginning). Why? I think it has more to do with Hollywood than with gender. Guys watch all these movies with guns being shot sideways, .44 magnums that have no recoil, magic bullets that seem to miss people in some movies and hit everyone in others, etc. Guys have to unlearn all of this crap and learn the realities of shooting. Women rarely bring that baggage to the table.
3. Press, don’t Pull – When it is time to fire the gun, press the trigger steadily. Don’t yank it. Don’t pull it. Don’t slap it. Don’t tug it. Don’t jerk it. Press steadily until it breaks and the gun fires. As a target shooter, the gunfire should be somewhat of a surprise. No, you shouldn’t jump, but you should hold your position until the gun fires and then keep holding it. This steadiness will increase your accuracy. Note – if a leatherfaced man is running towards you with a chainsaw dripping with blood, go ahead and pull that trigger!!!
4. Start Small – Shoot .22’s rifles until you are good. A good .22 single shot can be purchased for about $70. Practice with this till you are good. Then move up to other caliber rifles and shotguns. Don’t start out on a .577 Nitro Express. You probably won’t be shooting any elephants in the near future anyway. You’ll just learn a lot of bad habits dealing with the recoil. Then, start learning handguns, again with a .22 before you move up to the .454 Cassull.
5. Revolve First, Slide Later – If you are going to own and shoot handguns, I recommend a good old fashioned Smith & Wesson .357 in the K or L frame. Don’t go out and buy a semi-auto handgun because it looks cool in the movies. Wait until you really know your way around the revolver. They are simpler and have less things to go wrong. They are very dependable and you can pick one up in the $200-$300 range where a good quality Glock, Ruger, Heckler&Koch, or other good name semi-auto will cost you upwards of $700 for a used one. The other nice thing about a .357 magnum is that you can shoot .38 bullets out of it for plinking. These are cheaper and have much less recoil.
6. Breathe – Don’t hold your breath while taking the shot. Breathe steadily in and out. Some people will take a deep breath, begin breathing out, stop for a moment and fire, then continue the breath. This is OK, but many new shooters will just hold their breath, out of nervousness or lack of confidence. Just breathe steadily and you’ll do fine.
7. Shoot Flintlocks – shoot black powder muzzle loaders (the old school kind, not the stupid new inlines). You only get one shot at a time and so you must make it count. If you shoot flintlocks, there is a brief delay between the trigger snap and the actual firing (along with a bright flash of powder right by your face). If you can learn to hold steady through all that and make that one shot count, you will become a great target shooter.
8. Shoot – The best way to get good is to keep practicing. Shoot, Shoot, and Shoot some more. The more you shoot, the better you will be.
9. Step by Step – Start shooting at close ranges like 15 yards. Then, when you can put every bullet in the middle of a normal card from a deck of playing cards, then move back to 25 yards and shoot there until you can put every bullet through a playing card. Keep moving back until you can repeat this at any known range. Then, have someone vary the targets at unknown distances until you can judge and shoot at any range.
10. Annie, Get Your Gun – Get your own gun. Shoot it a lot. Every gun has its own foibles. Be the best shot with that gun. Then move on to others. Always have your favorite and keep it for life.

My invitation remains open. If you want to learn about guns or go shooting, just let me know. I love to take people out for their first time shooting, and I guarantee that you will have a safe and gentle learning experience. If you love shooting already, drop me a line and we can go too.

DISCLAIMER – The above advice is just that, friendly advice. You are 100% responsible for your own safety and the safety of others around you when you are shooting. If you choose to use any of the above advice, you take full responsibility.

Bonus: Gun Myths:

9mm bullets are not the super amazing be-all-end-all bullets. They are actually not all that powerful. Their main benefit is the number you can fit into a magazine and the fact that the lighter recoil increases accuracy. I’m not a fan, but many people are. Just know, that when you see someone shot with one in the movies and he goes flying twenty feet back, that just isn’t real.

Guns actually do run out of bullets. One of my favorite movie scenes is the gunfight in the restroom in true lies. The bad guy has a carbine version of the AK-47 with a clip that holds 30 rounds (bullets). He proceeds to open up on the bathroom stalls where Arnie Shwarzenegger is hiding. I paused the DVD and counted over 200 holes from that one 30 round clip. He then proceeded to a bunch more.

Bullets don’t shoot laser beam straight – Remember physics in high school. Bullets fly in a slightly curved parabola and not in a straight line.

Getting Shot in the shoulder or leg can kill you – The good guys always get shot in the leg or the shoulder so that they can walk on screen at the end with a small bandage. Your shoulder has a nerve plexus and several main arteries and veins. The upper leg has the femoral artery. Any of these that are hit by a bullet can cause you to die quite quickly or, at least cause life long disability.

Guns are not inherently bad. How they are used can be. Same with kitchen knives, baseball bats, and ammonium nitrate fertilizer. I have never killed anyone with any of my guns, but I have stopped an assault and attempted rape on a woman (and assault on me) because I had a gun. The rank and file gun owners that I know or have met are responsible and safe with their guns. Don’t let a few bad apples, or an irrational fear of an object affect your thinking on this matter. Don't judge it till you've tried it.

This post is number 9 in a series of 10 Top Ten Lists on improving yourself. This series will be posted daily. Tomorrow is a surprise Top 10 list.

* Note - the gun pictured above is my Taurus .40, a favorite.

Ten Ways to Be a Better Cook

I stood at the doorway watching my friend’s mom cook tacos. She rolled up plain hamburger in her hands and then folded a tortilla around that. She laid this in a large pan of cold oil. She then proceeded to make more until the pan was full. Then, she turned on the heat. She invited us to stay for dinner. Thank you, but, “Heck No!!!” I had already eaten her brown spaghetti sauce once before. Yuck.

Everyone should learn how to cook a little, but it always helps to be better. No one wants to eat burned food, bland food, or anything that makes them retch.

I decided to limit my advice to things that I know well. Cooking is a hobby of mine which helps, because so is eating. As a guy, I can say that cooking a fancy meal is a great way to impress a potential lady friend. It worked so well for me, that Becky married me.

1. Knife Safety – Based on recent experience, I had to include this one. Watch this brief 40 second Knife Safety Video to see what I did wrong and learn how to do it right. For the record, I knew how to do this, but I was chiffonading celery leaves and I have yet to figure out how to chiffonade with my fingers tucked under. In any case, Remember the Claw and you won’t cut yourself. Also, please sharpen your knife every time you use it. Dull knives are more dangerous.
2. Follow the Recipe the First Time – When cooking any dish for the first time, follow a trusted recipe. Then, once you know that it works, then you can start to change it up and add different ingredients to make the recipe your own.
3. Try New Spices – Go to the store and check out the spices and herbs. Pick one that looks interesting and then find a recipe that uses it online. Smell the spice and taste a bit of it. Wait till you get home to do this as the store personnel will frown upon you doing it there. If you have a local herb shop, stop in there and find one you like to try. They don’t mind you smelling the herbs there.
4. Share Recipes – If you are at a party or a restaurant where you like a specific dish, ask for the recipe. Some people don’t like to share ,but many are flattered and will gladly share. I love to share my recipes, so don’t be afraid to ask if you like something of mine.
5. Taste it, Taste it, Taste it – Flavor is important. Taste your food throughout the cooking process to be sure that the flavor and texture are right. Adjust as you go. A warning here, don’t taste raw meat, raw eggs, or cayenne pepper. Another note, if you are using cayenne peppers, be sure to wash your hands before going to the bathroom. I won’t tell you how I know this, but trust me.
6. Season It – Add seasonings to your water, to your flour, to your eggs. Get the herbs and seasonings inside the food and not just sprinkled on top. To quote Emerile Legasse, “I don’t know where you’re getting your water from, but mine don’t come seasoned.” Of course, if you drink well water in West Virginia, there is already flavor in there. No me gusta.
7. Get Fresh – Use fresh ingredients whenever possible. This is especially true of herbs and seasonings. If you must use dried, buy your spices in small amounts and use them up quickly. They lose their flavor after awhile. Fish is another thing that I must be fresh. Buy your salmon or tilapia the day you are going to cook it. A side note, this applies to milk too. If you pour your milk out and it has chunks….It’s probably not fresh. ewwww.
8. Vary Textures – Dice things small or chop them larger. Try julienne. Use different pastas like orecciette or orzo. Change up the usual textures to bring new interest to your food. Colors and flavors can be varied too, such as mango salsa, or confetti rice.
9. Start With What You Know Then Get Creative – Practice some favorite dishes. Get to know mashed potatoes, pancakes, and casseroles. Then, when you are comfortable with these, begin to get creative. Try celery root, lychee fruit, kiwiano, roquefort, uni, mollejas, bhut jolokia or really gross stuff like broccoli.
10. Have a Signature – Pick a dish and be the best at making it. For example, I have the best Chili recipe that exists in the Northern Hemisphere. I also have a great recipe for Baked Beans and Chicken Cordon Bleu. I know that I can make these and they will be a hit. Other people ask me to make them for events. That is a signature dish. A piece of advice – your signature dish shouldn’t be anything too weird. You can bring that Gizzards Fried in Kidney Fat with Okra and Melted Limburger Flambe, but nobody’s going to eat it.

Cooking is a fun pastime and you get to eat your mistakes. What a gig. Let me know if you have a favorite cooking tip or recipe. Have fun and cook safely.

This post is number 8 in a series of 10 Top Ten Lists on improving yourself. This series will be posted daily.

Tomorrow: Ten Ways to Be a Better Shooter.

Ten Ways to Be a Better Interviewee

Interview. The very word strikes fear into the hearts of most people. Your mouth goes dry, your blood starts pumping, you forget every important detail in your life. It is an ordeal that ranks up there with prostate exams and oral surgery. Most people see the interview process as a modern day auto-de-fe; expecting to be tied to a table and tortured for information.

It doesn’t have to be that bad. It’s not the inquisition. Trust me on this. I have interviewed many hundreds of applicants for positions ranging from fry cook to loan officer to electronics technician. It’s not about polish, it’s about believing in yourself and presenting yourself well.

1. It’s a Two Way Street – The first thing to remember is that an interview isn’t just about the company finding out if you are right for the job, but you finding out if the company is right for you. Are their business ethics in line with yours? Is your supervisor’s management style acceptable to you? Do your personalities click? Will they allow you to wear kilts on casual Friday? These are important things to consider.
2. Ask Questions – this goes with the previous one. You won’t know any of these answers unless you ask questions. If possible, answer their questions and then pose one of your own that is on the same subject. Have a list of questions to ask when the interview is over. This not only gets you information, but shows that you are intelligent and thoughtful. Questions not to ask: Will you go out on a date with me? Can I have my vacation now? Are your kids really as ugly as they look on that picture?
3. Dress Slightly Better than You Would On The Job – Even if you wears overall every day, wear a shirt and tie for the interview. Your boss wants to know you can look nice if you need to. I have had potential interviewees show up in sweat pants, in super-tight micro minis, spandex, and on one occasion a woman wearing flip flops (for a bank interview). Her toenails hadn’t been cut in a long time and looked like some they had some kind of fungus. Gross.
4. Visual Clues – look around the interviewer’s office. Is it neat and organized? If so, they value that. Are there pictures of their kids everywhere? Then they value family. Do they have baseball player action figures everywhere? Then they probably are childish and you don’t want to be there. Is there a death metal poster on the wall? Pictures of dogs? Whatever you see can be worked into the conversation and will help them remember you as someone that they liked.
5. Read the Newspaper – read at least the first page of every section of the newspaper on a daily basis and you can hold a conversation with anyone. Hate football? That’s OK, if you read the first page of the sports page, you know what teams are winning (not the Cardinals) and can hold a conversation with a sports fan. Bored by the theater. No big deal, if you read the first page of the entertainment section, you will at least know what plays are in town and can talk about them if that’s what the interviewer is interested in. Be careful with politics, but at least you can be knowledgeable by reading he first page of that section.
6. Email Professionalism – The best thing you can do when job searching is set up a new email account just for that job search. Make the account your name so that it is easy to remember, such as rodgerloar@yahoo.com. That makes it easy and keeps the job search sites from flooding your personal account with advertising. Never use a goofy email on your email. Here are some actual examples I have seen in applications for professional positions: ladiesman@.... death@.... imabitch@... Needless to say, I didn’t call any of them.
7. Buzzwords – Know what the company values. Research their website. Research the industry. Be able to intelligently speak about their goals, their past, and their industry. Use words that they will key into and understand. Be sure you really know what you are talking about. If you are applying for an electronics job, please don’t tell me that diodes don’t have polarity (yes, I was told that).
8. Chill – do whatever you have to do to relax before an interview (except for smoking pot or drinking a quart of tequila). Breathe. Listen to gentle music. Whatever it takes, try to be relaxed and comfortable going into the interview.
9. Practice – A great way to be relaxed is to be prepared. Look online for a list of common interview questions and have several different friends bombard you with them. Discuss the answers and refine them. Have them ask you questions of their own. The more practice you have, the easier the real interview will be. Also, go on as many interviews as possible. This will help you be confident too. On the hundredth interview, it’ll be no sweat. Even after you have accepted a position, finish out any interviews you can. You get the extra practice for the future, and who knows, you just might get a better offer.
10. The Truth, The Whole Truth, and Nothing But The Truth – My rule for interviewing was this: Lie to me and you are done. Period. If I catch you in a lie, I won’t hire you. Don’t tell me you are fluent in Spanish just because you had two semesters in high school and can say, “Donde estas los baños” or “Deme otra cerveza.” As an interviewer, I used to love to use this as a check. I would say, “your resume shows that you are fluent in Spanish,” and when they answered, “Yes,” I would instantly hit the speaker phone and call one of my Spanish speaking employees in, saying, “Danny, can you come in here, I need to test this person’s Spanish for work.” Nine times out of ten, the interviewee would begin backpedalling right away. Game over. Epic fail. Be open and honest. Trust me, lies will come back and bite you.

Interviews aren’t that bad if you are prepared and practiced. Give me a call if you want some practice and some personal coaching.

A few real interview moments:

• I interviewed a guy with gauged ears. Large ones. I had a window in my office that overlooked the room where my employees worked. I could see people walking around through his earlobes. Weird.
• I interviewed a guy who had red hair, freckled skin, green eyes and tiny round gold wire glasses. He has a small red mustache and beard and was very short. Did I mention the green shirt and the last name that began with O’…? I had a hard time holding a straight face through the entire interview because all I kept thinking was, “Is he here to steel my lucky charms?” To this day, I swear that I interviewed a real live leprechaun. True story.
• How about the large woman who came in for a front desk position wearing extremely tight spandex, an extremely low cut blouse, and flip flops with gross nails (see # 3 above). Her fingernails were clean, they were just three inches long. She was also wearing waaaaayyyyy too much perfume.
• Or the guy who showed up for an interview smelling of terrible body odor, wearing sweat pants and a torn t-shirt. I sprayed my office with Lysol after he left.
• I believe in giving some small practical ability test as part of the interview. I had a guy applying for a position that required some math skills for percentages. I gave him a brief five question math quiz in which he got every answer wrong. OK, we continued the interview, but at some point, he decided it was over. He looked me in the eye and said, “I don’t see any point in continuing these questions, you have my resume and have seen that I have the math skills for the job (pointing to the paper with the wrong answers); I’m the right guy for the job, so let’s move on.” I laughed out loud for a moment and then explained that he had all of the answers wrong. He said, “Well, I guess I’m done here,” and walked out.
• I had an interviewee applying for a phone customer service position who cussed repeatedly throughout the interview, dropping the f-bomb on multiple occasions. He then proceeded to share a story about having sex with a stripper on his last trip out of town and how his wife didn’t know.
• I had another interviewee who managed to turn every question back to how “the bastards” at his last company had laid him off after twenty years. He kind of resembled Tom Smykowski on Office Space, but he had this angry edge that said he might just go postal at any time. He even said at one point, "Boy, if I could just have a few moments alone with my a**hole manager..."

This post is Number 7 in a series of Ten Top Ten Lists on improving yourself. This series will be posted daily. Tomorrow: Ten Ways to Be a Better Cook.

Ten Ways to Be a Better Boss

I have had more than two decades experience in management. I have personally learned a lot of valuable lessons on leadership, many of them the hard way. I also have had many bosses. Due to the weirdness of corporate banking, I once had 8 bosses in a 12 month period. I have had excellent bosses who engendered loyalty in their people, and I have had horrible bosses who drain the very life out of people. Good leadership can free employees to do amazing things. Poor management can only get the bare minimum out of people, if that.

Today’s challenge to you, the reader, is to comment with a story about the worst boss you’ve ever had. We’ll see who has the worst.

1. Treat Your People Like They are People – This is imperative. Employees are not “cogs in the machine,” they are real people with real dreams, ideas, and frustrations. Be friendly with them, but not overly so. Let them know you value their input.
2. Surprise Them with a Break – I once had a boss who came in one Thursday and told us to dress casual for the next day with clothes that would be comfortable outside. The next day, he shut down the department for an “offsite meeting” at noon and took us all across the street to Tempe Diablo Stadium where we enjoyed an afternoon of spring training baseball. What fun. He built loyalty that day and next time he needed us to work late for a deadline, we were all onboard. As a manager, I used to periodically bring pizza in to the department, just as a thank you for their work. I also awarded employees who performed well with time off, maybe an afternoon, or sometimes a whole day.
3. Public Praise, Private Punishment – If an employee has done well, trumpet it in front of other employees and even customers. If they do poorly, deal with this in private. The quickest way to kill morale is to switch these around. Of course, there is nothing like a good public caning once in awhile.
4. Give Them Family Time – When I have an employee with a child or spouse in the hospital, I don’t blink, I tell them to go be with them. I tell them. As long as this isn’t abused, it makes a big difference. If they are trying to work while worried about their family. In most cases, a good employee will go take care of their family and come back and redouble their work effort. Don’t make the corporate-America mistake of thinking the company is family. A good reading of Dicken’s “A Christmas Carol” might help. You don’t want to be responsible for Tiny Tim’s death now, do you?
5. Pick Their Priorities – It is not the employee’s responsibility to decide what their priorities are. This is the single most common mistake made by managers. They will assign two or three things that must be done at once, but only give time to get one of them done. The employee is left to figure out how to make it happen and absorb any negative reaction if they choose wrong. The manager should be the one to say, this is the first priority and must be done by this time, this is the second priority and must be done by such and such a time, and so on. As an employee, I always push this back to my boss.
6. Lead by Example – If you expect your employees to put in extra hours, then so should you. If you expect them to take a pay cut, then so should you. A leader should lead from the front. Unless of course you are a politician.
7. Know Your Employees – Do you know the names of all of your employees, even the least of them? Do you know the names of their kids? Do you know what the employee does for fun in their free time? How is their marriage doing? What are their career goals? What do they value? Do they wear kilts in their off-times? If you can’t answer these questions, then you won’t be able to properly motivate them.
8. Let Them Learn – The first thing cut in most budgets is training. Many new employees get thrown into the business with little or no preparation. What a terrible mistake. Well trained employees are more effective employees. This goes for outside training. I strongly advise sending your better employees to seminars and training sessions to get better and better. Weaker employees can be given additional training too. Tuition Reimbursement is an excellent way to improve your people. An even better form of training is mentoring. If you have an exceptional employee that is a prospective for promotion, have him or her sit alongside someone who is doing the new job well. Let them learn by following in the footsteps of someone older and more experienced.
9. Don’t Chase Management Trends – Working in corporate banking, I saw trends come and go. I was given the gift of the goose, empowered, TQM’ed, SalesTech’ed, 3 R’ed, 5 P’ed, had my cheese moved, etc., etc., etc., ad infinitem. We were reorganized again and again. Consultants came and went and then more came in, each with a sharp suit, a new idea, and a fake smile. We did teambuilding events, and dissection debriefs, and seminar after seminar. What we never seemed to get done was any real work. Pick a business plan and go with it. Give it time to work. Build your people up and give them the training and tools to get the job done. Reward them well when they do well. Then get out of the way and quit bothering them with Dilbert-style goofiness.
10. Fear and Shame are Short Term Tools – There is an old adage, “You’ll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” I’m not sure why you need to catch flies, but let’s apply the lesson here. A leader will encourage his people, building them up, having faith in them. A poor manager (dictator) abuses his employees. I once worked for a man who would hold ‘come-to-Jesus meetings’ to deal with problems. Here’s an example: A customer called in angry that he didn’t get the correct items in a timely manner. Bossman calls the sales person into his office and demands an instant explanation (without giving the person time to get answers). Sales person, in the process of hemming and hawing through his excuse mentions that production had told him the parts would be ready. Bossman instantly interrupts by picking up his phone and calling the Production Manager. Production Manager and Salesperson are now in his office. Production manager tries to explain about an engineering problem and Bossman promptly interrupts again, calling the Engineer in. The engineer then tries to explain and mentions the Customer Service Manager in who then mentions Project Management and so on and so on. Soon, a third of the company is in there sweating as they are yelled at and denigrated by the Bossman. Bossman would then mention all the errors and assign blame in front of everyone at the next company meeting. Not only was this ineffective at solving the customer’s problem, but it tore down the morale every time. Fear and Shame can be effective tools if you must rush to get a single job done and will never see the employees again. In all other instances, please don’t consider them to be useful leadership tools.

I once calculated that it cost our company more than twenty thousand dollars to train a new technician. I then showed this number and how I calculated it to the owner of the company (one of the worst bosses I’ve ever had). I tried to demonstrate how much better it was to treat people well and keep them versus treating them as disposable and losing them to other companies. He saw the numbers and agreed with them, even suggesting that they were much higher when you considered loaded costs. Yet, ultimately, he never changed and continually chased off some of the best people we ever had.

A good leader who treats his people well is an incredible boon to a company. A bad boss makes everyone’s life worse and will ultimately be a drain on company resources.

Feel free to send an anonymous copy of this blog to your boss.

My Bad Boss Story (not naming any names)

I had a boss who was extremely paranoid about his employees wasting time by checking personal email or surfing the internet, because this cost the company money. So, he had software loaded on every computer that allowed him to look at anyone’s computer screen at any time from his desktop computer. He then spent large amounts of every day watching his employees computer screens. It never occurred to him that, at the highest salary in the company, he was costing the company much more money by wasting hours watching employee computers than he ever saved from keeping them from spending a few minutes checking personal email. His paranoia extended to perceived loyalty. He also paid for accounts on several employment search websites like Monster.com so he could search for resumes posted by his employees. If he found your resume out there, he got rid of you. He was soooooo paranoid and angry, that there was a palpable tension in the office when he was there and an almost visible sigh of relief when he was not. It was demoralizing to work anywhere near him.

This post is Number 6 in a series of Ten Top Ten Lists on improving yourself. This series will be posted daily.

Tomorrow: Ten Ways to Be a Better Interviewee