What is the Christian Response to Abortion?

I was invited to serve my time on the picket line a few weeks ago.  Two ladies stopped in my office to discuss the possibility of my church joining in the protest of a local practitioner who performs the only private abortions in the state.  I listened politely and accepted their literature, but then respectfully told them, ‘No.’ 

I don’t like abortion.  Let’s be clear about that.  I think it is a positively awful and generally selfish choice that almost always arises out of poor life decisions.  Though the debate often moves to questions like, “What if the pregnancy is because of incest or rape,” I believe this is the exception and not the rule.  With more forethought and more focus personal responsibility instead of demanding personal rights, there would be less need for abortions in this country.  Please understand, if you are a woman who has had an abortion, I do not condemn you for it, but my heart breaks for the situation.  I would never turn away someone who has chosen or is considering abortion, especially in those exception cases. 

I also do not like abortion protests.  By and large, they are obnoxious and so focused on this one issue, that they lose sight of all other humanity.  It doesn’t take much of a leap to go from charges of murder to feeling obligated to do anything in your power to prevent the murder.  Thus we get shootings of abortion doctors and bombings of their centers.  Even those who do not turn to violence, often turn to violent language, graphic pictures, and intimidating tactics.  Violence, hatred, and intimidation are NOT worthy of Jesus and are completely unacceptable from anyone who claims to follow him.  I just cannot picture Jesus yelling epithets through a megaphone at a scared young girl.   

During college, members of my class were assigned to visit a Planned Parenthood and ask questions.  To enter the center nearest me, I had to go through a heavy steel door with an armored peephole that looked like it was out of a bank vault.  The inside lobby was small and the receptionist window had that thick bulletproof glass that you see in check-cashing businesses.  The interior door to the counselors and patient rooms was also armored and you had to present I.D. and wait to be buzzed through.  I was saddened that those doctors, nurses, and counselors were in an armed camp, predominantly out of fear of people who call themselves Christians.  That’s not how it should be.

The ladies who invited our church to join them in this current protest promised me that the signs would be about love and would, in fact, say, “We Love You, Choose Life.” They told me the protest would be all about letting the doctor and patients know that we loved them and that there would be no graphic pictures of aborted fetuses.  I still am concerned.  Who controls what goes on these signs?  Who controls who gets to be there protesting?  Even the most peaceful protests tend to draw the fringe elements, and that brings danger. 

I believe that the Christian response to abortion is not protest, but Adoption.  My challenge to any and every protestor who would walk in front of an abortion doctor’s office, is this: “How many children have you adopted?”  For every pastor, teacher, or blogger who has written and spoken on the subject of abortion, I would ask, “How many young girls have you provided for so they can have a baby and put it up for adoption?”

I don’t know that holding a sign has ever changed a single person’s mind.  I do know that a loving offer to adopt has.  I do know that giving a woman information can make an incredible difference (yet Planned Parenthood consistently stands against any requirement for this).  I also know that groups like Crisis Pregnancy Centers do an incredible job offering counseling, connecting women with adoption agencies, offering financial assistance, and walking with a pregnant woman through a tough time.  They even offer post-abortion counseling for free, if a woman chooses that route. 

I am a believer in putting your money and your action where your mouth is.  Period.  If you cannot stand up, please shut up. 

Here are the stats. 

·  According to the National Abortion Federation’s website (a pro-choice group), there are approximately 1.3million unwanted pregnancies in the United States each year.

·  According to Religion Facts, there are approximately 159 million Christians in the United States. 

·  There are already as many as a half a million people seeking to adopt children at any given time in the United States and as many as 1.58 million who have taken steps to look into adoption according to Adoption.com. 

·  There are around 127,000 children awaiting adoption in foster care right now, according to the Adoption Institute.

·  Fertility Treatments can cost upward of $12,000 per cycle with the average spent on In Vitro Fertilization in the U.S. of $100,000 per baby born!  $4 billion dollars a year is spent on assisted reproduction in the U.S.

·  The average cost of a foster adoption is $5,000 with domestic adoptions costing around $10,000 and international adoptions running from $25,000 - $35,000 according to the Adoption Guide.  Note – there are tax credits and grants for adoption that alleviate some of this.

The simple truth here is, if every church in the U.S. took this idea seriously, there would be little or nothing left to protest about.  There are just over 12 times as many Christians as there are abortions.  There should be enough families to adopt every available baby.  If churches and families took the calling to adoption seriously, there would be millions of families available to adopt and millions of others available to support the families in those adoptions.  Imagine if the money spent on fertility treatments were spent towards adopting unwanted babies and children.  Imagine if churches stepped up and committed to adopting every child available AND supporting those families that went through with adoptions.

A pastor friend of mine and his wife* shared how they adopted a little baby girl and then ten months later had the opportunity to adopt twin newborn boys.  It took little thought for them to say, ‘Yes.’  They said it was so hard taking care of three little babies, two of whom were preemies, that they remembered little about that first year.  What they did share was that the women of their church brought them dinners every night for six months and then continued to regularly drop off food for months after that.  They also had church members who came over and watched the babies periodically so they could get a break.  Now, that’s how it should work!

When we adopted my oldest daughter, we experienced the same thing.  Church members organized meals for us.  They dropped off gifts of baby clothing, formula, food for the family, and many other things.  I don’t think we bought a single diaper for the first year!  They helped us with babysitting, and even just coming to visit.

That’s how it’s supposed to work.  Christian community is an amazing thing; it's much more powerful than any sign.

I am not suggesting that this would stop all abortions, but I do suggest that it could be an amazing, life-changing experience for everyone involved: the woman facing an unwanted pregnancy, the precious child, the adoptive family, and the church as a whole.  I know so many adoptive families and in every single case, the experience has been a hard one, but a healthy one.  The love these families and children experience overflows on those around them. 

My wife and I have had a wonderful experience with adoption and intend to adopt more children in the future.  I invite every Christian family to step up and either open your lives up to adopt a child, or open your pocket book up to support adoption. 

Love is a powerful thing.  I believe it is infinitely more powerful when it is taken off of signs and put into action. 

* Note: My Pastor friend does participate in the protest at that site, holding a sign that says, ‘We love you, choose life.’  He has adopted several children; he has earned the right to hold a sign.

If you are a family looking to adopt, may I recommend Christian Family Care Agency at www.cfcare.org ((602) 234-1935 or Arizona Baptist Children’s Services at www.abcs.org (623) 349-2227

If you can contribute to adoption, please consider making a donation to http://www.cfcare.org/donate/ or to http://www.choicesaz.org/. 

 If you are a woman experiencing an unwanted pregnancy, may I suggest you contact the local Crisis Pregnancy Center.  In Phoenix, you can find them at www.choicesaz.org  or by calling them at (602) 393-7501.  All assistance is free, fair, and confidential.

If you are a woman who has had an abortion and would like to talk to someone, they also offer free counseling. 

Other services offered by Crisis Pregnancy Centers include:

·         Pregnancy testing

·         STD Testing

·         Physician or Nurse Consultation

·         Crisis counseling

·         Counseling for parents, boyfriends, and husbands

·         Adoption counseling

·         Adoption referral

·         Housing referrals

·         Childbirth classes

·         Parenting classes

·         Abortion recovery

·         Ultrasounds

 Another option is  Hope House http://womenscpc.org/#/hope-house-maternity-home/4552859533 located in Showlow, Az.  It may be a drive from Phoenix, but they offer an actual maternity home.

The Blacksmith

The Blacksmith

Hammer falls

to strike hot steel

gold-hot sparks fly

and red metal anneals

High heat and pressure

and fire and strain

hard metal shaped

blows rain again and again

Merciless hammer

of iron and oak

beat into new shape

on stroke after stroke

Sword and shovel

nail and screw

the same burning forge

shapes me and shapes you

Trials and losses

struggles and pain

mold us to much more

through striving and strain

Give thanks to the hammer

the anvil, the flame

we grow that much stronger

our beatings no shame

Each sharp blade or strong tool

proud of its purpose and role

began its new life

in the flames of the coal

When now you question

if troubles are vain

remember today’s hurt

will tomorrow be gain.

The blacksmith that forms us

seems cruel in his art

but his loving intention

sets him apart

For the steel stays weak

if no fire and no folding

and we are no better

without his careful molding.

One Word

Broken.

That’s the only word I have for it.

Broken.

Broken pavement on the roads.

Broken windows in the houses.

Broken glass on the playground.

Broken hearts from the abuse, incest, and rape.

Broken families from the poverty and unemployment.

Broken lives from gang murder, drugs, and alcohol.

Broken.

Less than 2 hours from the jobs available in Phoenix, less than 50 miles from the affluent bounty of Superstition Springs Mall, is the San Carlos Apache Indian Reservation.

Less than a day ago, I went with a ministry co-worker, Amber, for a tour of the reservation where we saw for ourselves the pain and desperation of this place. 

Stories.  We heard lots of stories.  A twelve year old boy murdered by gang members.  A pre-teen girl whose uncle got her drunk in an attempt to molest her.  A young teen boy who attempted suicide in a house full of his younger siblings and cousins.  Girls pregnant at the young age of 13-15.  Those same girls, grandmas at thirty, sobering up for the first time so they can take care of their grandchildren for their addicted daughters.  Corrupt politicians handing out free 40s of malt liquor in order to garner votes.  Husbands taking the $250 a month the family lives on to gamble at the casino only to lose it all.

We saw things too.  A mom, with her two children, whose only notable fact was she happened to be sober for once.  Graffiti and gang symbols everywhere.  Sheds, shanties, rusted out cars, and tarps where whole families live without electricity or running water.  A police officer’s home, with bars on the windows next to a drug dealer’s home.  Broken Colt 45 beer bottles on the kids playgrounds.

I have no words to describe the heartache that I felt from seeing and hearing all of this.

I do have another word, though.

Hope.

The ministry that gave us the tour builds homes for the homeless on the reservation.

They provide back-to-school backpacks and supplies for kids.

They provide Christmas stockings and presents to families.

They are working on a battered women’s shelter.

They have a bus ministry that we got to take part in.  The bus drives through the neighborhoods and stops periodically and toots its horn.  Kids come running from houses all around to get a chance to go on the bus.  It then pulls up in an empty field next to a basketball court and the kids sing, get a Bible lesson, eat a snack, and then take part in games and crafts.  I got to hand out otter-pops to 45 smiling children, teach a young boy named Jay how to roller skate, and play basketball with a couple of other boys.   As we were leaving, Jay came up and handed me a rock, saying, “I found this cool rock for you, thank you for helping me to skate.”

Children are the same everywhere.  In the midst of poverty and abuse, on a playground covered with shattered glass and trash, they are still able to play and smile.

All they need is a little hope.

It’s there, in the ministry of a few people who care enough to sacrifice lives of comfort and material comfort in order to minister to those who need.

Hope.

Hope for shelter and food.

Hope for a safe place to grow up.

Hope for an education that will someday provide for them.

Hope for healthy relationships and families.

Hope for freedom from addiction and abuse.

Hope for the future.

Hope.

If you would like to help out, visit www.azrez.org and donate your time and money.  Take a trip with them to build houses.  Donate school supplies and Christmas stockings stuffed with presents.  Donate Walmart gift cards or donate cash.

Lights

Love everyone… This includes people who think differently than you, difficult people, and those who have hurt you.

Feed the hungry and give water to the thirsty.

Visit the prisoner.

Provide for the widow

Care for the orphan.

Invite in the stranger and immigrant.

Be hospitable.

Clothe the naked.

Care for the sick.

Stand up for the marginalized and defenseless ones.

Be humble.  Treat others as better than yourself.

Speak carefully.

Be slow to anger.

Don’t show favoritism towards the rich, famous, or powerful.

Don’t love money and don't be a slave to it.  Be wise and generous with your finances.

Practice justice.

Give mercy.

Shelter the homeless.

Don’t envy.

Don’t be selfish.

Make peace whenever possible.

Be gentle, kind, and caring.

Don’t be arrogant and boastful.

Be patient.

Use your gifts to help others.

Be self-controlled.

Don’t be hypocrites.

Speak the truth but don’t be a jerk about it.

Be trustworthy.  People should believe what you say.

Don’t talk bad about others.  Gossip and slander are destructive.

Do good deeds.  Even when it’s hard.  Even when others don’t.

Be respectable.  Live so you have a good reputation with others.

Do what is right, even if you suffer for it.

Don’t drink, eat, party, or anything else to excess.

Be clear-minded and alert.

Serve others even when it means sacrificing your own comfort, especially if it means sacrifice.

Treat those older than you with respect and those younger as brothers and sisters.

If someone has screwed up in life, restore them gently.

Don’t listen to liars, idiots, or those who stir up trouble.

Respect and obey the government so.  Even the ones you didn’t vote for.

Don’t fight with one another and don’t be quarrelsome and divisive.

Don’t sleep around, treat your body and others with respect.

Be a good example.

Take care of your own family, whether you like them or not.

Live with joy and contentment even in tough times.

Be generous and willing to share.

Respect your parents and treat your kids well.

Treat your spouse well.

Forgive those who have hurt you.  Quickly.

Don’t take what doesn’t belong to you.

Be honest in your business dealings.

Don’t be a slave to pleasure and entertainment.

Study God’s word and teach them to others.

Don’t put up with false teaching.

Pray.

It’s not about gimmicky services.  It’s not about ‘relevant’ music.  It’s not about being seeker sensitive.  It’s not about bigger and better props.  It’s not about rock star preachers and self-help messages.  It’s not about growth at any price.  It’s not about hooks to get them in the door so we can spring the trap on them.  It’s not even about us versus them. 

We shouldn’t have to paint up the gospel like a $20 hooker in order to try to attract people.  P.T. Barnum showmanship and used-car-salesman trickery have no place in the body of Christ.  If you believe that ostentatious glitter and flashy extravaganzas are what is required to for people to come to belief, then that suggests to me that you don’t believe that the gospel is enough yourself.

Neither should we be the obnoxious and arrogant evangelists who beat people with a twisted gospel or try to trick them into hearing it with cartoon tracts and baited questions.  Protest signs, angry words, and megaphones have no place here either.

It’s about a radically gentle, life-changing love that affects us enough to become living evidence to others.  It’s about individual, personal change and the struggle of daily turning towards God and His way, as evidenced in the list above.  It’s about walking together through good times and hard times.  It’s about turning away from the world of self-aggrandizement, self-enrichment, and selfish pleasure.  That was the message at the beginning and that is the only relevant message in a world of distraction and dissipation that we live in today.

If our lives actually reflected change, people might actually see our deeds and realize the truth of God’s message.  It’s almost as if that’s in the Bible (Matthew 5:16, 1Peter 2:12)

The message of the cross is offensive only because it acknowledges the evil in all of us, even those who think they are good people.  And,it offers grace to everyone, even those we don’t like or we don’t feel deserve it.  If we offend people with the gospel for any other reason, we are not being faithful to the message. 

Read the above list* again.  This is what a follower of Jesus looks like.  I think that the rest of the world would have much less problems with ‘Christians’ if more of us looked like this.

Do your deeds reflect God’s message? 

Do your actions demonstrate your faith?

Does your life show that you believe in something that matters?  Does your growth and discipleship demonstrate a way that might help others?  Do your actions exhibit a faith that is a light to others?

If your friends, coworkers, family, and neighbors didn’t know you went to church services, would they still know you were a follower of Jesus?

Perhaps it is time for each individual in the church and the church as a whole to take Peter’s advice in 1Peter 3:3-4.

³Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. ⁴Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Let us become lights to this world through our quiet but active devotion to our God and to the people around us.  Let each of us be like a simple, single candle burning in the darkness instead of trying to be garish neon facades like the Las Vegas strip.

* this list is a compilation of exhortations and admonitions taken from the Gospels and Epistles of the New Testament.

Translations

It’s not polite to talk about religion or politics.  You might offend someone.

Poppycock!

I don’t believe you can actually understand someone unless you discuss ideas and beliefs. 

I love discussion.  I enjoy bandying about ideas and considering the merits of various systems of thought.  Philosophy is fun.  Theology is entertaining.  Politics are engaging.   We don’t have to be rude; discussion can be gracious while still challenging.

OK.  I’ve probably already lost you.   “What a weirdo,” you are thinking. 

You just might be right.

Because I grew up without religion, I was an agnostic through high school and college.  I have a lot of respect for someone who admits they don’t know, and even more for the person who doesn’t give up at that point, but keeps on searching.  I have significantly less respect for someone who holds a belief system that they’ve never put any real thought into and won’t even discuss.  This goes for Christians too.  I have met many who grew up with Christianity but have never considered it deeply and have never put any thought into their own beliefs.   I truly believe that an unexamined life is not worth living and an untested faith is probably a weak one.  Truth can stand up to questions and it is OK to admit you don’t have all the answers.

Over the years, speaking with people about religion, I’ve noticed that there are some Conversation-Killers that people use when they don’t want to talk about the subject or, as is often the case, they want to talk about their ideas but don’t want any conflicting ideas.  These Conversation-Killers are short statements that are flippantly tossed out by the person in hopes that they’ll sound deep and intellectual without actually having to engage in any real dialogue.  Conversation-Killer statements sound like one thing, but they actually mean something else. 

I have taken the time to provide translate some of the most common that I have run into and, in some cases, actually said myself in the past (sigh).  Please know that some of this is tongue-in-cheek, but there are also deeper truths behind each of them.  My intention is not to be deliberately mocking if you say these things, but to challenge you to real thought and deeper discussion. 

TRANSLATIONS – When someone says the following statement, here is what they are really saying:

“I’m not religious, but I’m a spiritual person.”   Translation:  I want to feel like I am religious without ever actually sacrificing or committing to anything specific.

“I don’t believe in organized religion.”   Translation: I don’t want to wake up early on Sunday or actually have to connect with other people who might have questions that I can’t answer or might challenge me to growth.

“I believe all religions lead to heaven.”   Translation:  I don’t really know anything about the various religions, I’m just trying not to offend anyone.

“I don’t believe in two thousand year old superstitions.”   Translation: I believe in my own set of modern superstitions.

“I’m too rational for religion.”   Translation:  I’m so caught up in my own superior beliefs and personal egotism that I can’t conceive of anything I haven’t personally experienced.

“You can’t prove God scientifically.”   Translation: I don’t really understand how the scientific process works and so mistakenly believe that most things in the world are scientifically verifiable.

“There is no evidence that Jesus ever existed.”   Translation: I’ve never looked at the evidence, and I don’t understand how the evidentiary process works or how we know about historical figures.  Therefore, I can just choose who I choose to believe existed and who didn’t based on my comfort level.

“Religion is something that weak people need to get through life, but not me.”  Translation: I have my own unprovable rationalizations for things I can’t explain and that gets me through my weak times and don’t want to think too hard about it. 

“Religion is the cause of everything that is wrong in the world.” 
Translation:  Hey, I can explain away the shortcomings of mankind by blaming everything on human belief systems.  Wait a minute…That’s a belief system too.  Oh crap.

“I’m an atheist.”  Translation:  A religious person or people (probably Christian) hurt me, so I choose to accuse others of having unprovable belief systems while I stand firm on my own unprovable, belief system*.  I probably still live my life with mostly Judeo-Christian values, but don’t believe in God (except for that niggling feeling in the back of my brain).   *yes Atheism is a belief system.

“I just think love is the answer.”  Translation: I like touchy –feely emotional explanations that sound cool but require nothing from me personally.

“All religions say the same things.  It’s all about the Golden Rule.”  Translation:  I have never really read anything from the various religions and don’t know what the word ‘contradiction’ means. 

“Religion is society’s way of controlling people.”  Translation:  I don’t want someone or some book to suggest that I’m not already a perfect person and might need to change or grow.

“I believe that your religion is true for you and mine is true for me.”  Translation:  Contradiction, what’s a contradiction?  If everyone is right, then no one is wrong and nobody has to feel bad.  I just don’t want to consider that I might be wrong and don’t want to hurt you by suggesting that you might be wrong.  Except, I just did suggest that you are wrong.

“Christians are narrow-minded and judgmental.”  Translation: I am narrow-minded and judgmental because I can’t even consider the possibility that someone else might be right.  I also am unable to see the ironic narrow-minded judgment in my own statement.

“I prefer to be open-minded.”   Translation: I prefer to be empty-minded and can’t compare and analyze ideas that might require me to reject something.  If I actually thought about it, I might have to commit to something and that might be difficult.

“Christians are intolerant.”  Translation: I’m intolerant and can’t handle ideas that conflict with mine.

“There are too many religions in the world to know if one is right.”   Translation: Thinking is hard for me and I just don’t want to do it. 

OK, that was probably offensive for some people and I’ll probably get a few nasty messages about what Christians really mean.  The funny thing is, I’ll probably agree to some extent because, as I said earlier, I’ve met lots of people who grew up in church and have never really considered their beliefs on a deeper level.  I don't like bumper-sticker answers from Christians either, such as "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven" or "You just have to believe."  These are Conversation-Killers too. 

If someone is offended by an idea that differs from theirs that is politely shared, that is their problem.  No need to be a jerk to them, but let's be honest here: they aren't alone in this world.  This world has a rich tapestry of ideas, good and bad, and you just can't pretend that you live in a bubble where no one else's values, morals, ideas, or beliefs can touch you.  If you offend someone by polite sharing of an idea, that's their problem.  If you offend them by being an overbearing jerk about it, that's your problem.

Really, I just want to encourage you to discuss ideas.  Religion and politics are perfectly acceptable conversation topics, just keep it on a conversational level.  I think that is what scares most people, that the conversation will turn unfriendly.  I’ll be honest, there are some people that I don’t bother discussing these topics with, because they just can’t handle it without getting irrational and angry.  But, if you can handle it, I really want to know your story.  But don’t be surprised if I have questions for you.  I want to understand what you believe and why.  I also want you to understand what I believe and why.  This ultimately brings us closer to understanding each other.  Besides, discussing the weather is dull.

So, go ahead, ask me some questions.  I’ve got a few for you. 

Let’s talk.

P.S. – I’ve never actually used the word ‘Poppycock’ in conversation, but it’s kind of a fun word.   

Observations from the Front Porch

I sat on the front porch rail listening to Ken and Daniel strum their guitars. We waved periodically as people we knew walked past the cabin on their way back to their cabin or to the cafeteria. Occasionally someone would stop and talk for awhile, but often they just waved and went on their way.

Ken’s daughter Jennifer sat next to us weaving pine needles into a decorative garland that would have been at home on any Appalachian front porch.

Only…

We weren’t in the Appalachians. We were sitting on the front porch of the Nurse’s cabin at summer camp in Pine Summit Church Camp, Prescott, Arizona. Ken and Nancy, volunteers from our church, were the camp nurses. Daniel and his wife were also volunteers, leading praise music during sessions. And, the people walking by weren’t just our neighbors, they were the volunteers and youth at the church camp.

I had just spent a week in Durango, Colorado with a bunch of high school kids, living together in college dorms for the High School summer camp and now I was in Prescott with a hundred elementary and Junior High kids for their camps.

Spending a week with your fellow Christians at a church camp can be an amazing experience, not because of the highs of worship or excitement of rock walls and other adventure experiences, but because of the mundane things that we often miss in our frenzied life back home.

Traveling together, living in close quarters, and experiencing community on a small scale is powerful, in a way that you cannot understand until you have lived it.

There is something healthy about watching the senior pastor cross the hall with his towel and shower shoes, a days scruffy growth on his face and sleep in his eyes. It may not be pretty, but it makes him seem more human and definitely decreases the hero-worship factor that some try to cultivate.

Or, walking together down to the cafeteria to pray as a group and then going in to see what culinary surprises were in store today. Those short conversations on the road are the start of long friendships. At their camp, our high school group even visited the grocery store and then came back to their cabin to prepare a huge feast together where everyone did their part; there was more food than an army could eat. That shared meal together was a lifetime investment in just a few hours.

This sort of rubbing up against each other, living life in close proximity, is missing from our world and from our churches, especially in big cities. It is just this sort of shared life and transparency that leads to healthy relationships and personal growth. It’s harder to hide behind a mask when you sleep in the room next door to each other. It’s harder to pretend to be better than someone else when you just flushed the toilet two stalls down from them. Interpersonal skills, sharing, and forgiveness are all tested when you travel crammed together for days in a van. Mistakes are made, drama occurs, tears are shed, and yet, they are all dealt with and we grow…because, in close proximity, we have to. You don't get to run away and spread your drama on Facebook. You get to grow together here and now.

Shared jokes, small conversations, meals together, and late nights on the front porch together build strong communities. It’s just too bad that more people don’t experience this. Perhaps we need church camp for adults.

Truth Found in a Porta-John

The sounds of loud snoring came from the row of porta-johns as I went by. “That’s weird, I hope nothing’s wrong,” I thought. Then I decided, “Someone’s probably joking around, trying to freak people out,” and I went on by to return to my campsite.

To this day, I’m sorry that I did.

Several hours later, a woman came by our campsite. “Have any of you seen Petey?,”she asked.

None of us knew Petey and said so. She then told us that Petey was an old fella who was camping there that lots of people knew. “He’s not healthy,” she said, “and no one has seen him for hours. He has trouble getting around and has breathing problems.”

A terrible realization dawned on me as I told her about the sounds I had heard earlier.

When they checked the porta-johns, they found Petey. The sounds I had heard and ignored were the sounds of a man suffocating to death. After the door had closed, he had fallen in the little space between the door and the toilet and had been unable to get up, and so died suffocating in a porta-john.

I’m not entirely sure where this falls on the scale of ‘Bad ways to die,’ but I’m pretty sure it’s up there on the list.

Had I taken the time to investigate my suspicions, a man might not have died.

I bring this up because, this last Sunday, a woman was sitting in a pew at before church. It appeared she was sleeping and many people passed her by without noticing. Yes, I know it is customary to wait until the sermon to fall asleep, so this must have been unusual. Sharon, our church secretary didn’t pass by. She noticed that things weren’t right, and she saved a life. The lady wasn’t sleeping, she was in diabetic shock with blood glucose in the 20s!!! That’s barely enough to maintain life. If Sharon hadn’t taken the time to notice, then she could have died right then and there.

There is a lesson here that goes far past the issue of life and death. The deeper issue is our awareness of others around us. As we become more and more focused on ourselves and less aware of others, the sense of community dies. We become more and more separated and it becomes harder to care about anyone but ourselves.

Ecclesiastes describes this very situation almost 3000 years ago:

There was a man all alone;
He had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
"For whom am I toiling," he asked,
"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
This too is meaningless -- a miserable business!

Two are better than one.
Because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:8-12

The need to be a part of a community, to be loved, to be cared about is deeply embedded in our soul. The challenge then is this: How do we get our eyes off of ourselves and on to others?

This is not an easy thing to do.

People are difficult. Humanity is messy.

The task is to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. But what if our neighbor is a jerk? What if our family member is cruel? What if our coworker is weird?

It is a whole lot easier to love others if we can be truthful with ourselves. We too can be cruel, weird, and mean. If we can be loved, then we can love others.

I believe this is what the lies behind God’s call for us to love others. It is only by breaking out of our own selfishness and serving others that we begin to improve ourselves. Alone, we are nothing but self serving chemical reactions, but in a community, we become so much more.

Today, make it a point to love someone else.

It doesn’t matter if they share the same beliefs as you. Love them.

It doesn’t matter if they are nice to you. Reach out to them.

It doesn’t matter if they are outgoing or introverted. Pay attention to them.

It doesn’t matter if they have nothing to give back to you. Give to them.

Find yourself by serving others. It is an incredible gift to them and to yourself.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

The rest of the story:

Ironically, Petey turned out to be my first funeral as a minister. Because we were many miles back in the middle of nowhere, we had to wait for the Sheriff to come an investigate the death and the coroner to come and take Petey away. The lady who had originally come looking for Petey came back later and asked, “Wasn’t one of you a preacher or some such?” I said I was a new minister and she replied, “Well, we think Petey was a Presbyterian and figured he’d like it if someone said a few words.” So, 20 minutes later, I found myself doing an impromptu funeral in front of a porta-john, miles from civilization, with a newly dead body on the ground in front of me covered by a sleeping bag. Rest in Peace Petey.