Will it take another Craig Tiger before we do something?

It is with great concern that I learned of the suicide of Officer Craig Tiger.  My heart broke for his family, but then, as I became aware of the circumstances leading up to it, I became angry.  I am angry that our city let this officer down, that he was injured in the line of duty and we did not provide for him.  It is my understanding that both his personal psychologist and a city psychiatrist diagnosed him with PTSD stemming from the shooting that occurred while he was on duty.  Had he been physically injured in the altercation, the department would have provided him all the medical care, leave, and assistance humanly possible.  Had he been killed in the incident, he would have received an enormous recognition from the department and his family would have been taken care of.  Instead, due to the stigma of mental health issues and the sad state of leadership in our police department, this officer was mistreated and discarded by the very department he served.

This issue is compounded by the growing awareness we in the ministry and counseling community have of PTSD related to the wars our nation has been fighting.  The egregious issues that have come to light with the V.A. here in Phoenix should have been a wake-up call to all of us, including the police department.

I am also concerned that Officer Tiger did not receive a normal civilian review board hearing, but was taken directly to a Loudermill hearing with the Chief who disregarded the findings of both counselors.  It is my understanding that the frequency of these Loudermill hearings and the number of times that the Chief has disregarded the recommendations of the review board have increased under this administration.  The job of a leader is to care for his subordinates, to be aware of the sacrifices they make and the dangers that they face; it is not to be an authoritarian who demands total loyalty and control to himself.  Further, his treatment of news reporter Donna Rossi was unacceptable.  Chief Garcia absolutely owes an explanation to Rebecca Tiger, to the officers who serve him, and to the City of Phoenix.  

It should be obvious to us all that there must be other officers who are suffering from PTSD, depression, or other issues, who are afraid to ask for help because they fear loss of their career, loss of promotion consideration, loss of benefits, or stigma within the department.  This is unconscionable from a humanity point of view and completely illogical from the point of view of a city which is struggling to keep officers on the street and is already seriously understaffed.  Why would we hurt those who we need?  How many other officers are struggling?  Donna Rossi’s final question to the chief demands an answer:  “Will it take another Craig Tiger before we do something?”

The City Council needs to get involved here and demand some answers as our representatives.  Chief Garcia owes an answer to the community who employees him, he owes an explanation and a heartfelt apology to Officer Tiger’s wife  and daughters, and he owes Donna Rossi an apology for his behavior towards her.  If our Chief is that far out of touch with his line officers and the community, perhaps it is time to consider someone else for the job.  I strongly request that your office would look into this and hold the Chief and the leadership of the police department accountable for their treatment of this officer and for the creation of what amounts to a hostile work environment for those who risk their lives for us.  I am sure that you are a busy man, as am I, but I would sincerely appreciate a response to this communication.  I will follow up with a hard copy to your office. 

Pastor Rodger S. Loar

What is the Christian Response to Abortion?

I was invited to serve my time on the picket line a few weeks ago.  Two ladies stopped in my office to discuss the possibility of my church joining in the protest of a local practitioner who performs the only private abortions in the state.  I listened politely and accepted their literature, but then respectfully told them, ‘No.’ 

I don’t like abortion.  Let’s be clear about that.  I think it is a positively awful and generally selfish choice that almost always arises out of poor life decisions.  Though the debate often moves to questions like, “What if the pregnancy is because of incest or rape,” I believe this is the exception and not the rule.  With more forethought and more focus personal responsibility instead of demanding personal rights, there would be less need for abortions in this country.  Please understand, if you are a woman who has had an abortion, I do not condemn you for it, but my heart breaks for the situation.  I would never turn away someone who has chosen or is considering abortion, especially in those exception cases. 

I also do not like abortion protests.  By and large, they are obnoxious and so focused on this one issue, that they lose sight of all other humanity.  It doesn’t take much of a leap to go from charges of murder to feeling obligated to do anything in your power to prevent the murder.  Thus we get shootings of abortion doctors and bombings of their centers.  Even those who do not turn to violence, often turn to violent language, graphic pictures, and intimidating tactics.  Violence, hatred, and intimidation are NOT worthy of Jesus and are completely unacceptable from anyone who claims to follow him.  I just cannot picture Jesus yelling epithets through a megaphone at a scared young girl.   

During college, members of my class were assigned to visit a Planned Parenthood and ask questions.  To enter the center nearest me, I had to go through a heavy steel door with an armored peephole that looked like it was out of a bank vault.  The inside lobby was small and the receptionist window had that thick bulletproof glass that you see in check-cashing businesses.  The interior door to the counselors and patient rooms was also armored and you had to present I.D. and wait to be buzzed through.  I was saddened that those doctors, nurses, and counselors were in an armed camp, predominantly out of fear of people who call themselves Christians.  That’s not how it should be.

The ladies who invited our church to join them in this current protest promised me that the signs would be about love and would, in fact, say, “We Love You, Choose Life.” They told me the protest would be all about letting the doctor and patients know that we loved them and that there would be no graphic pictures of aborted fetuses.  I still am concerned.  Who controls what goes on these signs?  Who controls who gets to be there protesting?  Even the most peaceful protests tend to draw the fringe elements, and that brings danger. 

I believe that the Christian response to abortion is not protest, but Adoption.  My challenge to any and every protestor who would walk in front of an abortion doctor’s office, is this: “How many children have you adopted?”  For every pastor, teacher, or blogger who has written and spoken on the subject of abortion, I would ask, “How many young girls have you provided for so they can have a baby and put it up for adoption?”

I don’t know that holding a sign has ever changed a single person’s mind.  I do know that a loving offer to adopt has.  I do know that giving a woman information can make an incredible difference (yet Planned Parenthood consistently stands against any requirement for this).  I also know that groups like Crisis Pregnancy Centers do an incredible job offering counseling, connecting women with adoption agencies, offering financial assistance, and walking with a pregnant woman through a tough time.  They even offer post-abortion counseling for free, if a woman chooses that route. 

I am a believer in putting your money and your action where your mouth is.  Period.  If you cannot stand up, please shut up. 

Here are the stats. 

·  According to the National Abortion Federation’s website (a pro-choice group), there are approximately 1.3million unwanted pregnancies in the United States each year.

·  According to Religion Facts, there are approximately 159 million Christians in the United States. 

·  There are already as many as a half a million people seeking to adopt children at any given time in the United States and as many as 1.58 million who have taken steps to look into adoption according to Adoption.com. 

·  There are around 127,000 children awaiting adoption in foster care right now, according to the Adoption Institute.

·  Fertility Treatments can cost upward of $12,000 per cycle with the average spent on In Vitro Fertilization in the U.S. of $100,000 per baby born!  $4 billion dollars a year is spent on assisted reproduction in the U.S.

·  The average cost of a foster adoption is $5,000 with domestic adoptions costing around $10,000 and international adoptions running from $25,000 - $35,000 according to the Adoption Guide.  Note – there are tax credits and grants for adoption that alleviate some of this.

The simple truth here is, if every church in the U.S. took this idea seriously, there would be little or nothing left to protest about.  There are just over 12 times as many Christians as there are abortions.  There should be enough families to adopt every available baby.  If churches and families took the calling to adoption seriously, there would be millions of families available to adopt and millions of others available to support the families in those adoptions.  Imagine if the money spent on fertility treatments were spent towards adopting unwanted babies and children.  Imagine if churches stepped up and committed to adopting every child available AND supporting those families that went through with adoptions.

A pastor friend of mine and his wife* shared how they adopted a little baby girl and then ten months later had the opportunity to adopt twin newborn boys.  It took little thought for them to say, ‘Yes.’  They said it was so hard taking care of three little babies, two of whom were preemies, that they remembered little about that first year.  What they did share was that the women of their church brought them dinners every night for six months and then continued to regularly drop off food for months after that.  They also had church members who came over and watched the babies periodically so they could get a break.  Now, that’s how it should work!

When we adopted my oldest daughter, we experienced the same thing.  Church members organized meals for us.  They dropped off gifts of baby clothing, formula, food for the family, and many other things.  I don’t think we bought a single diaper for the first year!  They helped us with babysitting, and even just coming to visit.

That’s how it’s supposed to work.  Christian community is an amazing thing; it's much more powerful than any sign.

I am not suggesting that this would stop all abortions, but I do suggest that it could be an amazing, life-changing experience for everyone involved: the woman facing an unwanted pregnancy, the precious child, the adoptive family, and the church as a whole.  I know so many adoptive families and in every single case, the experience has been a hard one, but a healthy one.  The love these families and children experience overflows on those around them. 

My wife and I have had a wonderful experience with adoption and intend to adopt more children in the future.  I invite every Christian family to step up and either open your lives up to adopt a child, or open your pocket book up to support adoption. 

Love is a powerful thing.  I believe it is infinitely more powerful when it is taken off of signs and put into action. 

* Note: My Pastor friend does participate in the protest at that site, holding a sign that says, ‘We love you, choose life.’  He has adopted several children; he has earned the right to hold a sign.

If you are a family looking to adopt, may I recommend Christian Family Care Agency at www.cfcare.org ((602) 234-1935 or Arizona Baptist Children’s Services at www.abcs.org (623) 349-2227

If you can contribute to adoption, please consider making a donation to http://www.cfcare.org/donate/ or to http://www.choicesaz.org/. 

 If you are a woman experiencing an unwanted pregnancy, may I suggest you contact the local Crisis Pregnancy Center.  In Phoenix, you can find them at www.choicesaz.org  or by calling them at (602) 393-7501.  All assistance is free, fair, and confidential.

If you are a woman who has had an abortion and would like to talk to someone, they also offer free counseling. 

Other services offered by Crisis Pregnancy Centers include:

·         Pregnancy testing

·         STD Testing

·         Physician or Nurse Consultation

·         Crisis counseling

·         Counseling for parents, boyfriends, and husbands

·         Adoption counseling

·         Adoption referral

·         Housing referrals

·         Childbirth classes

·         Parenting classes

·         Abortion recovery

·         Ultrasounds

 Another option is  Hope House http://womenscpc.org/#/hope-house-maternity-home/4552859533 located in Showlow, Az.  It may be a drive from Phoenix, but they offer an actual maternity home.

Pride and Prejudice

I am a racist and very prejudiced; I hate people who are different from me.  At least, that’s what the writer of a recent email accused me of.  He was kind about it, suggesting it in an oblique way, couching it in the nicest terms possible; but it sure didn’t feel very nice.  I was so hurt and angry, that I had to kick in my personal safety rule about email.  Never respond by email when you are mad.  It actually took me four attempts at re-writing my response, in order to calm down and be a peacemaker instead of firing back an accusatory and sarcastic response in the same character as his original email.

The story behind it is very long, but the short version is that we disagreed on how to help the homeless.  Our church and several other churches, charities, and ministries were asked by the Phoenix Police to assist them by feeding the homeless at a different location than the city park.  The location is a short walk away from the park, has a gymnasium and kitchen and helps resolve issues of the neighborhood families who would like to take their kids to the park without having to see people defecating near their picnic (actual event) or having pedophiles preying on their kids (two actual events).  The homeless are still allowed to use the park, they just cannot camp there and the many groups who feed them are asked to move to this ministry other location that is a mile away.  We agreed to work with the police and the neighborhoods, this other group did not.  We are still feeding the homeless and, what’s more, helping some to get off the street, into housing, and back to work (4 in the last month).  Even cooler, we are able to get dozens of ministries and charities to work together, pooling our resources and thus doing more than any one of us could alone.

I offered to meet with the fellow who emailed me and talk.  I offered to listen and provide answers if he needed.  I thought that perhaps he misunderstood.  He wasn’t interested in talking with someone he doesn’t agree with.  He missed the irony of his own email, as much of his problem was based on his own prejudiced assumptions about me that he never bothered to clarify.

I have a friend on Facebook who likes to spout strong opinions on political issues.  (actually, I have several like that).  This one, in particular, regularly reposted half-truths about the opposing party, internet rumors, and false statistics to back up his point.  I used to post responses to his comments on a regular basis, asking questions, positing a different point-of-view, or posting links to Snopes.com and factcheck.org when he posted things that were internet hoaxes, or I would post links to surveys which might dispute or clarify what he is saying.  He privately messaged me and asked me to no longer do this because he didn’t appreciate how I made him look bad.  I think that I have to give him some props for being intellectually honest about his intellectual dishonesty. 

In both of these cases, the issue at hand was pride.  Neither one of them could conceive that there might be another way, therefore, the problem was me – not them.

I have a friend who is transgender.  We correspond on social media and meet for coffee every couple of months to talk.  I try to listen and understand.  I have to be completely honest here – I don’t really understand.  I have no frame of reference on the struggle; it’s not mine.  Because I have known him longer than her, pronouns can be a struggle.  But, I listen.  I ask questions.  I seek understanding.

I have friends who are far-right conservatives.  I don’t agree with them on many issues, most especially immigration, government regulation, and the way we treat this planet.  I believe they’ve got some things right, especially that we need to respect and protect small businesses, those ‘rich’ people who provide most of the jobs in the U.S.  Even though we disagree, I love discussions with them, because I can learn something, and hopefully they can too.

I have friends who are far-left liberals.  I don’t agree with them on many issues, most especially the idea that it’s OK to steal from someone who has more than you do, that bigger government is the solution to all our problems, or that some groups of people still require special rights that others don’t receive. I do believe they get it right when they suggests that we need to protect our lands from pollution and when they want to help those in need.  Even though we disagree on some things, I love discussions with them too. 

I am an unabashed Christian.  I believe that Christ offers us the only hope of salvation in this world.  With that said, I have friends who are Jewish, friends who are Buddhist, friends who are atheist, and some friends who just don’t know.  Religious discussions are some of my favorite, because there are so many ideas to discuss.

None of these conversations are comfortable.  Some, in fact, get down-right uncomfortable.  Years ago, I read that our brain views attacks on our ideas by releasing the same hormones that a physical attack on our bodies causes.  We go into a similar fight or flight mode from ideas, just as we would if a guy in a hockey mask was chasing us with a chainsaw.  It’s no wonder things get uncomfortable, but who promised a life of comfort?  When the only point of view you can see is your own, it’s like placing a mirror between you and other people.  They are there, but you no longer can see them.

I am not a fence-sitter when it comes to ideas.  I have opinions, and they have generally been shaped through much thought.  I’m not always right on everthing, but hey, I’m not always wrong either.  I believe the Socratic idea that the unexamined life is not worth living.  Thus, some of my opinions have changed over years, often as a result of a healthy discussion.  Politically, I have been a registered democrat, a registered republican, and now a registered independent.  Spiritually, I have been an anti-Christian agnostic and now am a Christian pastor.  Live and learn.  Part of this growth has come from people challenging my ideas.

We have to have people who disagree with us in order to become whole people ourselves.

We need opposing ideas to keep healthy points of view. 

We must recognize that few things are truly black and white and truth is usually found somewhere in the grey middle ground.

Unfortunately, these things are harder and harder to get.  Social media, email, and other technology has made it possible to surround ourselves with homogenous points-of-view.  Facebook and Google both shift their search results and advertising based on things you have commented on, people you are connected to, and things you have previously searched for.  This can be a wonderful help when you are using the internet as it makes it faster and easier to find things that interest you. 

But, it is also a bad thing as it begins to sift out any ideas that disagree with you.  If you regularly post from the Huffington Post, you will no longer see any results, events, or advertising that suggests Republican ideas.  If you regularly disagree with President Obama, you will stop seeing any information about Democratic themes.  As a Christian, these sites filter out anything that might challenge my beliefs.  For some of people, that may sound like a good thing.  Unfortunately, causes increased partisanship and distills people to extemism.  We demonize other points of view to the point that we no longer see them as people, but as the enemy.  Just read the comments on any blog post related to political or religious ideas.  Most of those commentors no longer see the other side as humans, just as a problem to be resolved.

Just as a your average mutt of a dog is generally less susceptible to genetic diseases than a purebred, the distillation of ideas makes us unhealthy as a people and more susceptible to bad ideas and to violent disagreements, up to and including civil war.

We need people who think, believe, and look different from us.  We must share ideas, discuss concepts, and seek to bridge our divisions.  We must let down our walls of pride and separatism.  We must allow ourselves to ask the question, “What if I am wrong?”  Maybe, just maybe, the other person can help you grow while you, at the same time, challenge them to growth.  The simple truth is that we aren't always going to agree, and that is a good thing.  But we must find a way to listen to each other, to take the best ideas, and to give a little and get a little.

Let me just offer a caveat.  I once was arranging to meet an old friend who I hadn’t seen in two decades.  He noticed that I was a pastor and said that he wasn’t interested in having someone shove their religious ideas down his throat because he is open-minded and believes x, y, and z.  There was a certain irony to his statement, as well as an implied insult, but I replied to him saying, “Open-minded does not mean empty-minded.”  I was just hoping to catch up with an old friend; I wasn’t bringing a proselytizing agenda.  I did tell him, that he was welcome to leave religious discussion completely off the table, but if he wanted to talk about it, then I would be more than willing to meet challenge with challenge.  When you have a discussion with someone who is challenging your ideas, it is perfectly acceptable to politely challenge them back. 

Let’s do this thing.  If you have read this far, take this dare yourself.  Seek out someone you would normally disagree with.  Take them out for coffee and listen.  Don’t go in with a bad attitude, but a welcoming one.  Consider what truth they might have in their ideas.  Open your mind and think the issues through from their point-of-view.  Consider how to build bridges, and offer serious but polite challenges back at them.  In the end, you may still hold to a set of principles, but you might just find that your hard-line ideas are tempered by the recognition that the side has a valid point or two and that the other person is just that, a person.

Humanity would be much healthier if we could lose a lot of our pride.  We might just find that we change our prejudices.

P.S. – This is a good time to renew my ongoing offer.  If you want to have a discussion on an issue, if you have questions about my beliefs (or your beliefs for that matter), if you just want to share your story, then I invite you to join me for a cup of coffee and conversation.  Just click the Free Cup of Coffee link on the right side of the page and I’ll be glad to meet you somewhere in the valley of the sun (sorry if you are out of state, but you gotta meet me in the vicinity of Phoenix, AZ).  I’ll even buy the first cup.

A Comparison

I've been watching the whole fuss about the Occupy Wall Street and I remember all the fuss about the Tea Party.  It's been very amusing to watch the Facebook postings on each.  I have friends on both sides of the political aisle and I have now seen several postings comparing the two movements posted by each side.  It's fun to watch each side pick the worst fringe of the other side to compare to the best of their own.  I can't be sure if they truly believe it or if they are purposely being intellectually dishonest. 

Here is my comparison of the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street.

Tea Party	Occupy Wall Street
Grass Roots movement co-opted by Republicans	Grass Roots movement co-opted by Democrats
Represents the little guy who feels stepped on by the government	Represents the little guy who feels stepped on by corporations
Has people dressed in goofy costumes from 1700s	Has people dressed in goofy masks from 1600s
Has people playing fifes and drums	Has drum circles
Blames big government for everything	Blames big corporations for everything
Thousands of people marching in big cities holding signs calling for change	Thousands of people marching in big cities holding signs calling for change
Actually has some good points about the situation we are in with too much corporate money controlling our government	Actually has some good points about the situation we are in with too much corporate money controlling our government
Hates the government bailouts of big corporations	Hates the government bailouts of big corporations
Blames President Obama for the bailouts	Remembers that the Bailouts started under President Bush and blame him.
Offers a several overly simplistic solutions to a single complex problem	Offers no solutions to a wide range of complex problems.
Caricatures the OWS by comparing the worst fringe element of the other side with the most logical and centrist parts of their own movement.	Caricatures the Tea Party by comparing the worst fringe element of the other side with the most logical and centrist parts of their own movement.
Forgets that they only represent about a third of our country and that the other 2/3 has perspective and ideas too.	Forgets that they only represent about a third of our country (despite the 99% claim) and that the other 2/3 has perspective and ideas too.
Thinks it’s a crime to believe in socialism	Thinks it’s a crime to believe in capitalism
Old Republicans and young hipster conservatives	Young Democrats and old hippies
Primarily composed of real people with a heart to make a difference.	Primarily composed of real people with a heart to make a difference.
Complained that the media, which is (of course) all owned by the left-wing, wouldn’t cover them.	Complained that the media, which is (of course) all owned by rich corporations, wouldn’t cover them
Fox News and Drudge Report cover everything positive about this movement.  Huffington Post and MSNBC cover everything negative about this movement.	Huffington Post and MSNBC cover everything positive about this movement.  Fox News and Drudge Report cover everything negative about this movement.
Conservative media writes articles saying that you shouldn’t compare these movements because the Tea Party is right, peaceful, and the voice of the people and the OWS movement is wrong, potentially violent, and doesn’t represent most of America.	Liberal media writes articles saying that you shouldn’t compare these movements because the OWS is right, peaceful, and the voice of the people and the Tea Party movement is wrong, potentially violent, and doesn’t represent most of America.
Small fringe groups in this movement calling for overthrow of government	Small fringe groups in this movement calling for overthrow of government
People seen carrying assault weapons at rally	People seen carrying assault weapons at rally
Flyers found threatening death of government officials	Flyers found threatening death of police
Someone spit on congressperson	Someone pooped on police car
Some prejudiced hangers-on hate black people and immigrants and seen carrying signs that suggest the country would be better off without them.	Some prejudiced hangers-on hate Jews and Evangelical Christians and seen carrying signs that suggest the country would be better off without them.
Supported by two rich old white guys – the Koch Brothers	Supported by one even richer old white guy – George Soros
Held their rallies and stood around complaining, but then got people out to vote to bring some change to government	Holding their rallies and standing around complaining, let’s see if they can actually get people out to vote to bring some change to government.

What a mess we are in as a nation because of discourteous partisanship.  It's perfectly OK to have differing points of view, but the lack of any respectful disagreement and the lack of recognition that the other side might have some good points leaves us at war with one another and keeps us voting charlatans and crooks into office because, at least they vote for my side.

Let's not forget that we are all in this together.