Pride and Prejudice

I am a racist and very prejudiced; I hate people who are different from me.  At least, that’s what the writer of a recent email accused me of.  He was kind about it, suggesting it in an oblique way, couching it in the nicest terms possible; but it sure didn’t feel very nice.  I was so hurt and angry, that I had to kick in my personal safety rule about email.  Never respond by email when you are mad.  It actually took me four attempts at re-writing my response, in order to calm down and be a peacemaker instead of firing back an accusatory and sarcastic response in the same character as his original email.

The story behind it is very long, but the short version is that we disagreed on how to help the homeless.  Our church and several other churches, charities, and ministries were asked by the Phoenix Police to assist them by feeding the homeless at a different location than the city park.  The location is a short walk away from the park, has a gymnasium and kitchen and helps resolve issues of the neighborhood families who would like to take their kids to the park without having to see people defecating near their picnic (actual event) or having pedophiles preying on their kids (two actual events).  The homeless are still allowed to use the park, they just cannot camp there and the many groups who feed them are asked to move to this ministry other location that is a mile away.  We agreed to work with the police and the neighborhoods, this other group did not.  We are still feeding the homeless and, what’s more, helping some to get off the street, into housing, and back to work (4 in the last month).  Even cooler, we are able to get dozens of ministries and charities to work together, pooling our resources and thus doing more than any one of us could alone.

I offered to meet with the fellow who emailed me and talk.  I offered to listen and provide answers if he needed.  I thought that perhaps he misunderstood.  He wasn’t interested in talking with someone he doesn’t agree with.  He missed the irony of his own email, as much of his problem was based on his own prejudiced assumptions about me that he never bothered to clarify.

I have a friend on Facebook who likes to spout strong opinions on political issues.  (actually, I have several like that).  This one, in particular, regularly reposted half-truths about the opposing party, internet rumors, and false statistics to back up his point.  I used to post responses to his comments on a regular basis, asking questions, positing a different point-of-view, or posting links to Snopes.com and factcheck.org when he posted things that were internet hoaxes, or I would post links to surveys which might dispute or clarify what he is saying.  He privately messaged me and asked me to no longer do this because he didn’t appreciate how I made him look bad.  I think that I have to give him some props for being intellectually honest about his intellectual dishonesty. 

In both of these cases, the issue at hand was pride.  Neither one of them could conceive that there might be another way, therefore, the problem was me – not them.

I have a friend who is transgender.  We correspond on social media and meet for coffee every couple of months to talk.  I try to listen and understand.  I have to be completely honest here – I don’t really understand.  I have no frame of reference on the struggle; it’s not mine.  Because I have known him longer than her, pronouns can be a struggle.  But, I listen.  I ask questions.  I seek understanding.

I have friends who are far-right conservatives.  I don’t agree with them on many issues, most especially immigration, government regulation, and the way we treat this planet.  I believe they’ve got some things right, especially that we need to respect and protect small businesses, those ‘rich’ people who provide most of the jobs in the U.S.  Even though we disagree, I love discussions with them, because I can learn something, and hopefully they can too.

I have friends who are far-left liberals.  I don’t agree with them on many issues, most especially the idea that it’s OK to steal from someone who has more than you do, that bigger government is the solution to all our problems, or that some groups of people still require special rights that others don’t receive. I do believe they get it right when they suggests that we need to protect our lands from pollution and when they want to help those in need.  Even though we disagree on some things, I love discussions with them too. 

I am an unabashed Christian.  I believe that Christ offers us the only hope of salvation in this world.  With that said, I have friends who are Jewish, friends who are Buddhist, friends who are atheist, and some friends who just don’t know.  Religious discussions are some of my favorite, because there are so many ideas to discuss.

None of these conversations are comfortable.  Some, in fact, get down-right uncomfortable.  Years ago, I read that our brain views attacks on our ideas by releasing the same hormones that a physical attack on our bodies causes.  We go into a similar fight or flight mode from ideas, just as we would if a guy in a hockey mask was chasing us with a chainsaw.  It’s no wonder things get uncomfortable, but who promised a life of comfort?  When the only point of view you can see is your own, it’s like placing a mirror between you and other people.  They are there, but you no longer can see them.

I am not a fence-sitter when it comes to ideas.  I have opinions, and they have generally been shaped through much thought.  I’m not always right on everthing, but hey, I’m not always wrong either.  I believe the Socratic idea that the unexamined life is not worth living.  Thus, some of my opinions have changed over years, often as a result of a healthy discussion.  Politically, I have been a registered democrat, a registered republican, and now a registered independent.  Spiritually, I have been an anti-Christian agnostic and now am a Christian pastor.  Live and learn.  Part of this growth has come from people challenging my ideas.

We have to have people who disagree with us in order to become whole people ourselves.

We need opposing ideas to keep healthy points of view. 

We must recognize that few things are truly black and white and truth is usually found somewhere in the grey middle ground.

Unfortunately, these things are harder and harder to get.  Social media, email, and other technology has made it possible to surround ourselves with homogenous points-of-view.  Facebook and Google both shift their search results and advertising based on things you have commented on, people you are connected to, and things you have previously searched for.  This can be a wonderful help when you are using the internet as it makes it faster and easier to find things that interest you. 

But, it is also a bad thing as it begins to sift out any ideas that disagree with you.  If you regularly post from the Huffington Post, you will no longer see any results, events, or advertising that suggests Republican ideas.  If you regularly disagree with President Obama, you will stop seeing any information about Democratic themes.  As a Christian, these sites filter out anything that might challenge my beliefs.  For some of people, that may sound like a good thing.  Unfortunately, causes increased partisanship and distills people to extemism.  We demonize other points of view to the point that we no longer see them as people, but as the enemy.  Just read the comments on any blog post related to political or religious ideas.  Most of those commentors no longer see the other side as humans, just as a problem to be resolved.

Just as a your average mutt of a dog is generally less susceptible to genetic diseases than a purebred, the distillation of ideas makes us unhealthy as a people and more susceptible to bad ideas and to violent disagreements, up to and including civil war.

We need people who think, believe, and look different from us.  We must share ideas, discuss concepts, and seek to bridge our divisions.  We must let down our walls of pride and separatism.  We must allow ourselves to ask the question, “What if I am wrong?”  Maybe, just maybe, the other person can help you grow while you, at the same time, challenge them to growth.  The simple truth is that we aren't always going to agree, and that is a good thing.  But we must find a way to listen to each other, to take the best ideas, and to give a little and get a little.

Let me just offer a caveat.  I once was arranging to meet an old friend who I hadn’t seen in two decades.  He noticed that I was a pastor and said that he wasn’t interested in having someone shove their religious ideas down his throat because he is open-minded and believes x, y, and z.  There was a certain irony to his statement, as well as an implied insult, but I replied to him saying, “Open-minded does not mean empty-minded.”  I was just hoping to catch up with an old friend; I wasn’t bringing a proselytizing agenda.  I did tell him, that he was welcome to leave religious discussion completely off the table, but if he wanted to talk about it, then I would be more than willing to meet challenge with challenge.  When you have a discussion with someone who is challenging your ideas, it is perfectly acceptable to politely challenge them back. 

Let’s do this thing.  If you have read this far, take this dare yourself.  Seek out someone you would normally disagree with.  Take them out for coffee and listen.  Don’t go in with a bad attitude, but a welcoming one.  Consider what truth they might have in their ideas.  Open your mind and think the issues through from their point-of-view.  Consider how to build bridges, and offer serious but polite challenges back at them.  In the end, you may still hold to a set of principles, but you might just find that your hard-line ideas are tempered by the recognition that the side has a valid point or two and that the other person is just that, a person.

Humanity would be much healthier if we could lose a lot of our pride.  We might just find that we change our prejudices.

P.S. – This is a good time to renew my ongoing offer.  If you want to have a discussion on an issue, if you have questions about my beliefs (or your beliefs for that matter), if you just want to share your story, then I invite you to join me for a cup of coffee and conversation.  Just click the Free Cup of Coffee link on the right side of the page and I’ll be glad to meet you somewhere in the valley of the sun (sorry if you are out of state, but you gotta meet me in the vicinity of Phoenix, AZ).  I’ll even buy the first cup.

The Only Man in the Room Without a Tallit

The service began thirty minutes ago.  I think.  Maybe.  Actually, I'm not entirely sure.  Somewhere off to my right some one is singing in Hebrew, but I can’t see him because I am sitting slightly behind the stage and my view is partially blocked by lace curtains.  Dozens of men milled around on my side of the room, shaking hands, greeting one another with a rousing L’shana Tova!*  Some were putting on their prayer shawls (Tallit), long white pieces of fabric usually with blue or black stripes and long tassels attached.  The Hebrew singing continues and periodically some of the men will join in with the chant, but most are paying no attention as they catch up with friends, holding conversations on business, school studies, and how their kids and grandkids are.  Though many people say, hello and L’shana Tova to me, I feel distinctly out of place and unsure of myself.

It all started a couple of weeks before the service when I asked a business acquaintance, who I knew to be Jewish, if he could recommend adult Hebrew classes for me to help me with my seminary studies.  We had a brief conversation about religious difference that culminated in him inviting me to Rosh Hoshana services at Chabad of Scottsdale. 


I showed up a thirty minutes early and hoped to see my friend.  I stood out front, off to the side and watched the line of people entering the building.  I wore a suit, figuring it was better to be overdressed than too casual, but many of the younger men were wearing casual clothes.  Being Scottsdale, I had to laugh at the man wearing cowboy boots, a western vest and a yarmulke.  Finally, this older gentleman came up to me and asked in an accented voice, “Why wait out here and don’t go inside?”  I told him that I was new and waiting for a friend.  He said, “From today on, I am your friend.  You can come inside now.”  With that, he took my shoulder and escorted me inside.  I told him, I have no kippah (yarmulke) and he laughed and said not to worry.  “What color you should want, red, black, green, blue?  We’ll get you one.”  Looking through a drawer, I found a simple black one and put it on.  He then showed me to my seat and wandered away, jovially saying, L’shana Tova to everyone he passed. 


Somehow, I was expecting something similar to Christian church services I have attended so many times.  Nope.  Nothing of the like.  Though it was a religious service, and there were many things that were similar, it’s the small differences that made it such a cross-cultural experience.  It’s even hard to explain all the differences, but they added up to an experience that was far from anything else I’d ever experienced. 


The elderly man who was my new friend, came wandering back with the Rabbi, who promptly began speaking to me in Hebrew.  Embarrassed, I told him I wasn’t Jewish and spoke no Hebrew.  He smiled friendly and told me that’s OK.  (it made me think of the old Mel Brooks movie joke, "I'm not Jewish" and the response is, "That's OK, nobody's perfect.")  My new friend told him I was waiting for my business acquaintance, whom the Rabbi knew.  The Rabbi welcomed me and wandered off, back to the stage area which was actually around the corner from my chair, so I couldn’t even see what was going on.


The service continued with the Chazzan (song leader) singing in Hebrew with brief moments of audience participation in Hebrew.  The service was laid out in a book with Hebrew on one side and the English translation on the other.  I tried to follow along, but, since everything spoken was in Hebrew, the English was only of limited help.  I finally recognized the Hebrew word melech which I know means ‘king’.  Since they use that word A LOT, it became easy enough to at least keep up.  The Rabbi also kept calling out the page numbers, so I managed to stumble along.  I still felt greatly out of place because the others knew when to stand, to sit, to take a few steps back and forward, and when to bow.  I was always a little bit behind.  This part was very comparable to a Catholic service, which, since my wife grew up Catholic, I have had occasion to experience.


The Rabbi came back and brought someone else with him.  He introduced us and told the new guy who I was waiting for and they both wandered off.  Periodically, the Rabbi would bring someone else by and let him know who I was waiting for and would introduce us.  All of this occurred while the service was going on.


Over the next hour or so, men and women continued arriving, going to their different sides of the room and beginning rounds of greeting with those participating in the service.  Slaps on the back.  Greetings of L’shana Tova.  Discussions about children.  These all continued while the Hebrew singing and audience participation continued.   And, the Rabbi and others kept bringing people up to meet me.  It made me chuckle to picture this happening at a Christian church, with people greeting each other while worship went on or while the pastor gave his sermon.  Hard to imagine.  What’s more, as the service continued over the next few hours, I noticed that people were not only coming in, but wandering out and leaving on their own schedules. 


My friend finally showed up and stopped to welcome me.  Several men came by and told him I was there looking for him.  He must have thought that I had met the whole congregation.  By that time, I may have, because of the busy little Rabbi introducing me.  He gave some explanation and guidance about what was going on and a little about what the purpose of the service was.  He invited me to stay or leave as was comfortable and then went to his assigned seat to participate.


After five hours of Hebrew singing, quiet prayer, a brief homily in English, shofar blowing and lots of standing and sitting, I finally had to go pick up my daughter from school.  I quietly left.  I was sad that I couldn't stay through the end, but I had enjoyed the experience.  Perhaps the only disappointing part of the whole experience was the blowing of the Shofar.  I expected a deep resonating tone, like something out of an old movie about Vikings.  Instead, it was shorter and high pitched, more like a child’s toy horn.  Just goes to show that we shouldn’t base our expectations on Hollywood.


My favorite observation concerned the children.  They came and went, often coming into the room and climbing up on Grandpa’s lap.  Even the rabbi held a young boy for awhile while still running the service.  How rich it must be for children to grow up immersed in their culture and not sent off to another room for a watered down version of religion.


I truly loved the respect they showed to the Torah.  As they opened the Ark each time, where there were several Torah stored, everyone would stand and become quiet.  These were no small scrolls, but very large, very ornate, and very special.  When it was finally time for the Torah reading, they brought two out and walked them around the room.  Men would touch the corner of their Tallit to the Torah scrolls and then kiss the Tallit.  I would wish that more Christians held that type of respect to the word of G-d.


Though somewhat uncomfortable, as all cultural experiences are, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  But, it made me question my own traditions.  When someone comes in and visits our church, do they have any idea what is going on?  Though our service is in English, does an outsider understand some of the words and phrases that we use that are specific to Christian faith and practice?  Have we missed out on some beautiful and rich traditions by losing the essential Jewishness that marked Yeshua, Shaul, Shimon, (Jesus, Paul, Simon), and the other disciples, and completely saturated their teachings?


In the short conversation that my friend and I had weeks before, when he invited me to the service, it was immediately clear that he misunderstood some basic concepts of Christianity, even though the Christian faith came directly out of the Jewish faith.  I’m sure that this is how he understood things from previous explanations, but still, it wasn’t quite right.  How can we better communicate our similarities and the truths of what we believe without assuming that they already understand.  What have we lost in our Christianity over the centuries, considering the first ‘Christians’ were actually Jews who believed that Meshiach had come in the form of Yeshua. 


During the service, it was painfully obvious that I was the stranger.  Being the only man in the room not wearing the Tallit and obviously out of place and unsure, I must have stuck out like a sore thumb.  Though people were very welcoming and polite, it was still clear that they recognized me as a visitor.  This makes me wonder, how then can we as Christians be welcoming without making someone feel like they are the stranger?  I have to be honest, while we don’t wear any special clothing like a Tallit or kippah, it is still clear who comfortably belongs and who is just visiting. 


I am thankful to my friend for inviting me and I hope to visit again, because I want to understand the similarities and the rich history that comes from our Jewish roots.  We are separated by the belief that Meshiach has come, and by some unfortunate historic anti-semitism that must be apologized and atoned for.  But, those things don’t have to separate us today as people of G-d. 


I will continue to build my Hebrew vocabulary till I am fluent, in hopes to be a better scholar and to better understand the precious word of G-d. 


Next time I visit, though, I’ll bring my Tallit.  I actually own one that I purchased for Seder several years ago.  Maybe that way, I won’t feel so out of place, and really…. just how many chances does one get to wear a Tallit?


Till then, L’shana Tova Tikatevu.  May you be inscribed in the Book of Life.

Please know that these are observations from an outsider and not meant to be flippant or in any way disrespectful.  Any accidental affronts, misuse of terms, or misunderstanding of the events described are unintentional, coming solely from my ignorance and only reinforce my desire for understanding.  Please accept my apology if there are any such offences.  Thank you for sharing your faith and traditions with me.  Thank you to Jerry, Nathan, the Rabbi whose name I missed, to the Orthodox Jewish young man who gave me his seat, and the dozens of wonderful people who were so welcoming to me.  Thanks also to Chabad of Scottsdale for the experience.  May you each be blessed by the King and Creator of all.

     *L’shana Tova means Happy New Year in Hebrew

The Target

Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages, come one, come all!  Take your seats and prepare to see the most amazing and frightening performance of your lives.  As I blindfold myself and ready my throwing knives, my lovely assistant shall step up to the wheel and I will demonstrate the object lesson of today’s blog.  I recommend that those with delicate constitutions step out of the room as we perform this death defying trick. 

I used to love circus acts like that: the pretty lady spinning on the wheel while the blindfolded man throws razor sharp blades at her.  There was a sense of suspense, a tempting titillation, and a delicious desire for danger.  There was even a secret macabre hope that you just might see some blood.

Over the years, this act has lost its delight as I see it played out in the real world of ministry.  There are many things that are absolutely wonderful about leading a ministry, but there is one significant drawback that I’d like to share.  Being a ministry leader makes you the person spinning on the target.

There just never seems to be a lack of people who are willing to tell you what they think you are doing wrong or telling you how they want you to be doing things.  There is always someone willing to tell you how they believe you could have done better.  Perhaps you should have said __________ in your sermon.  Or, I don’t think that we should do __________ as a church.  Or, your church should be doing __________ type of ministry.  I don’t think we should play __________ type of music.

Often, these are couched as ‘suggestions’ by well-meaning people, but then they are hurt when you don’t take their suggestion, or if you offer a different point-of-view.  What’s even more common, the person giving the advice usually isn't even actively involved in the ongoing ministry of the church.  They just sit there and snipe at the pastor, music leader, elders, or other ministry leaders.  I have even had new people, after their first or second visit, tell me what they thought was wrong with me or our church, or even other churches.  I can even go further in saying that the people most likely to make these types of suggestions are the ones who are least likely to show evidence of an active and growing discipleship.

I write this piece, not to whine about how things are, or to grumble and complain; I write this to offer a better way.  (no, I don’t miss the irony here, I am suggesting another way of doing things, but the difference is, I am committed to being involved and living this out myself.)

1.       Encourage those in ministry.  Pray for them.  The jobs are difficult, the pay is low, and they are working very hard.  They love what they do, but it can be mental and spiritually draining to be criticized all the time.

2.       Instead of suggesting that ‘the church should do __________,’ as if ‘the Church’ somehow is an entity outside ofyou.  Why don’t you volunteer to make something happen.  Offer to do the fundraising, solicit and train volunteers, and make the ministry happen. 

3.       If you felt something was left out of the sermon or that it could be said another way, why don’t you go back and listen to what was actually there, instead of what you wish was there.  Perhaps the message had a different intent to it that you can learn something from.

4.       If you are focused on the type of music instead of the message of the music and the purpose of worship, then perhaps it is time to look at your own selfish desires and retrain them on God instead of on yourself. 

5.       Refocus your faith.  You should be serving God and serving His community, not being served by the church.  If you have been at your church more than a few months, you should be volunteering and becoming an active part of the family instead of being a passive consumer.   Church is not a business that sells a product to you, but a family, a body of people who work together towards God’s goals, not their own.

This isn’t to take anything away from the active, serving believer who offers gentle truth, a graceful critique, or sees a way to improve ministry and is willing to get their hands dirty to make a difference.  We need more of this and less of the other type.

It is time to take a hard look at how we do church.  In fact, let’s not do church anymore.  Let’s BE the church!  Let’s get rid of the petty, old-school ways of churchianity and begin living as selfless, loving, merciful, joyful, grace-filled servants of Jesus.   How powerful could it be if everyone in the small local church took the personal responsibility to serve and not to be served?  What if all of us decided to put our faith in action in the local community and not wait to be catered to? 

What could happen if each one of us gave sacrificially of our time, money, and abilities instead of waiting for someone else to do it?  Imagine a church where every single member was actively serving in a ministry that God called them to, regularly giving to God’s work, and committed to building a vibrant, loving, and welcoming community where those outside the church could come and encounter a safe place to seek God.

Perhaps that’s the target we should be aiming at. 

The Blacksmith

The Blacksmith

Hammer falls

to strike hot steel

gold-hot sparks fly

and red metal anneals

High heat and pressure

and fire and strain

hard metal shaped

blows rain again and again

Merciless hammer

of iron and oak

beat into new shape

on stroke after stroke

Sword and shovel

nail and screw

the same burning forge

shapes me and shapes you

Trials and losses

struggles and pain

mold us to much more

through striving and strain

Give thanks to the hammer

the anvil, the flame

we grow that much stronger

our beatings no shame

Each sharp blade or strong tool

proud of its purpose and role

began its new life

in the flames of the coal

When now you question

if troubles are vain

remember today’s hurt

will tomorrow be gain.

The blacksmith that forms us

seems cruel in his art

but his loving intention

sets him apart

For the steel stays weak

if no fire and no folding

and we are no better

without his careful molding.

Different Enough

I want to be different…  Just like everyone else. 

Our culture is one of conformity. 

Just check out the teen girl dressed in all black and listening to emo music, trying to be her own self, just like the dozen others that she hangs out with.

Look at the Republicans who, on cue, decry everything that president Obama does.  Look at the Democrats who did the same thing with George Bush.  Neither one can step outside of their group and actually give a little credit where it is due.

Look at the beatniks of the 50s, the hippies of the 60s, the feminists of the 70s, the yuppies of the 80s, and the grunge culture of the 90s. 

Look at the hundreds of guys with their pants belted below their butt, showing their chonies. (That’s a fad that can’t die soon enough)

Counter-cultural people tend to be just another culture. They’re different, just like everyone else.

Oh, we like to pretend that each of us is our own individual, but ultimately, society expects you to conform to an image.  My Human Development Professor in college, “We make too much of a big deal about cliques and conformity with teenagers.  I’m 65 years old and live in a retirement community and there is definitely a message of conformity, from the catalogues that tell me how I should dress, to the clubs that people my age join, to the expectations of my kids and grandkids.” 

This brings me to some recent conversations that I have had with my long-time friend, Rick.  Are we, as Christians, different enough?  Do we look so much like the world around us, that people just cannot tell the difference?  Or, do we just have a silly Christian sub-culture that has its own conformities?  Rick has been wrestling with these questions, and so have I.

A simple look at the statistics tells you that Christians give more money to charity, volunteer more to help others, adopt more children, and provide more day-to-day assistance to those around them than any other group of people.  But, is that enough? 

It is also easy to look out on the Christians that I meet and see that they are just as in debt up to their eyeballs as the rest of the world, far too many of their marriages are a wreck just like the rest of the world, they have just as many grudges and broken relationships as the rest of the world, there are racists, political radicals, and hypocrites – just like the rest of the world.  The umbrella of our name contains such people as the hateful Fred Phelps, the charlatans of televangelism, the smooth-talking salesmen like Joel Olsteen, and the senile and grumpy Pat Robertson. 

Is this who we are?  Are we just another club to join that’s just like everyone else in the world, or are we supposed to be something different?

It is easy to criticize other people, to look at the Christians around me and wonder, “Why aren’t you doing more?”  It’s quite popular for Christian book writers, bloggers, and others to disparage other Christian groups: ‘Megachurches are too worldly,’ ‘That group of churches are too judgmental,’ ‘your church isn’t holy if it doesn’t have such and such ministry,’ ‘you should teach this, but you don’t,’ ‘You’re not following Jesus if you…,’ or ‘__________ says (fill in the blank with Donald Miller, N.T. Wright, Rob Bell, John Piper, Bono, or any other name in the pantheon of minor Christian celebrities),’ etc. etc. etc.  But, (and here is a very big but), I have to start with myself. 

When I read Romans 12:1-2, it makes me wonder how transformed I am, or have I remained like the world.  Though Jesus tells me in Mathew 6:1-6 that I am not supposed to show off my good works, he also says in Matthew 5:13-16 that I am supposed to be a light to the world.  Now, I get the difference here: I am not to do good works, such as giving to charity in front of others so that others will see and congratulate me.  And, I’m not supposed to pray high and holy prayers in front of others so they will think that I am über-spiritual.  Ultimately, my personality, my life choices, my financial decisions, by choice of entertainment, the way I treat others, my ego/humility, my attitude, my very being should reflect that I am a changed man because of my relationship to the Messiah.

When you meet me, do you see love?  Am I a joyful person, content in all circumstance?  Am I a peacemaker, bringing others together and being humble enough to seek peace from those I’ve hurt and those who have hurt me?  Am I patient (I know I definitely need some work here).  Do I exude kindness, do I treat others as if they are better than me?  Am I good?  Do I consistently try to make the right choice daily, or do I make a lot of selfish choices?  Am I faithful, can my God, my wife, my family, and my friends count on my loyalty and support?  Am I gentle to those around me, not bullying, not being pushy, not ignoring those who need help?  Do I exhibit self-control, willing to accept delayed gratification, being temperate in what I eat, how I spend, what I own, and how I deal with people?

Do I exhibit generosity, even when I don’t have much?

Do I seek reconciliation, even when I am the one who was wronged?

Do I love people, even those who are difficult to love?

Do I care for others, not just those who look like me?

Do I treat people well, even those who persecute me?

Do I struggle with my faith, trying to put into practice, or do I just do religious service as a habit?

Am I actually relevant because I make a difference, or am I just trying to be relevant by acting a certain way?

When other’s look at me, is my life different enough from the materialistic, self-centered, values of the rest of the world that they are puzzled by it?

These questions and thoughts aren’t meant to be narcissistic, navel-gazing.  These are the questions and thoughts I would ask of any member of my congregation, any one that I mentor, any of my children, and anyone who claims to follow Jesus.  If we aren't struggling with this, perhaps we should be.  Our very message of hope is diminished if it looks to everyone else that it hasn't made a difference in our own lives.

These are questions that I struggle with and I’m not always very happy with the honest answers.  But, God help me, I’m trying.

It is my hope to be like an Easter egg sitting in the middle of a box of plain old white eggs.  I want to be gloriously different enough that people can tell the difference (not to glorify myself, but to point to the God that I serve).  I just hope that I’m not the cracked one. 

Am I different enough?

Are you?

Lights

Love everyone… This includes people who think differently than you, difficult people, and those who have hurt you.

Feed the hungry and give water to the thirsty.

Visit the prisoner.

Provide for the widow

Care for the orphan.

Invite in the stranger and immigrant.

Be hospitable.

Clothe the naked.

Care for the sick.

Stand up for the marginalized and defenseless ones.

Be humble.  Treat others as better than yourself.

Speak carefully.

Be slow to anger.

Don’t show favoritism towards the rich, famous, or powerful.

Don’t love money and don't be a slave to it.  Be wise and generous with your finances.

Practice justice.

Give mercy.

Shelter the homeless.

Don’t envy.

Don’t be selfish.

Make peace whenever possible.

Be gentle, kind, and caring.

Don’t be arrogant and boastful.

Be patient.

Use your gifts to help others.

Be self-controlled.

Don’t be hypocrites.

Speak the truth but don’t be a jerk about it.

Be trustworthy.  People should believe what you say.

Don’t talk bad about others.  Gossip and slander are destructive.

Do good deeds.  Even when it’s hard.  Even when others don’t.

Be respectable.  Live so you have a good reputation with others.

Do what is right, even if you suffer for it.

Don’t drink, eat, party, or anything else to excess.

Be clear-minded and alert.

Serve others even when it means sacrificing your own comfort, especially if it means sacrifice.

Treat those older than you with respect and those younger as brothers and sisters.

If someone has screwed up in life, restore them gently.

Don’t listen to liars, idiots, or those who stir up trouble.

Respect and obey the government so.  Even the ones you didn’t vote for.

Don’t fight with one another and don’t be quarrelsome and divisive.

Don’t sleep around, treat your body and others with respect.

Be a good example.

Take care of your own family, whether you like them or not.

Live with joy and contentment even in tough times.

Be generous and willing to share.

Respect your parents and treat your kids well.

Treat your spouse well.

Forgive those who have hurt you.  Quickly.

Don’t take what doesn’t belong to you.

Be honest in your business dealings.

Don’t be a slave to pleasure and entertainment.

Study God’s word and teach them to others.

Don’t put up with false teaching.

Pray.

It’s not about gimmicky services.  It’s not about ‘relevant’ music.  It’s not about being seeker sensitive.  It’s not about bigger and better props.  It’s not about rock star preachers and self-help messages.  It’s not about growth at any price.  It’s not about hooks to get them in the door so we can spring the trap on them.  It’s not even about us versus them. 

We shouldn’t have to paint up the gospel like a $20 hooker in order to try to attract people.  P.T. Barnum showmanship and used-car-salesman trickery have no place in the body of Christ.  If you believe that ostentatious glitter and flashy extravaganzas are what is required to for people to come to belief, then that suggests to me that you don’t believe that the gospel is enough yourself.

Neither should we be the obnoxious and arrogant evangelists who beat people with a twisted gospel or try to trick them into hearing it with cartoon tracts and baited questions.  Protest signs, angry words, and megaphones have no place here either.

It’s about a radically gentle, life-changing love that affects us enough to become living evidence to others.  It’s about individual, personal change and the struggle of daily turning towards God and His way, as evidenced in the list above.  It’s about walking together through good times and hard times.  It’s about turning away from the world of self-aggrandizement, self-enrichment, and selfish pleasure.  That was the message at the beginning and that is the only relevant message in a world of distraction and dissipation that we live in today.

If our lives actually reflected change, people might actually see our deeds and realize the truth of God’s message.  It’s almost as if that’s in the Bible (Matthew 5:16, 1Peter 2:12)

The message of the cross is offensive only because it acknowledges the evil in all of us, even those who think they are good people.  And,it offers grace to everyone, even those we don’t like or we don’t feel deserve it.  If we offend people with the gospel for any other reason, we are not being faithful to the message. 

Read the above list* again.  This is what a follower of Jesus looks like.  I think that the rest of the world would have much less problems with ‘Christians’ if more of us looked like this.

Do your deeds reflect God’s message? 

Do your actions demonstrate your faith?

Does your life show that you believe in something that matters?  Does your growth and discipleship demonstrate a way that might help others?  Do your actions exhibit a faith that is a light to others?

If your friends, coworkers, family, and neighbors didn’t know you went to church services, would they still know you were a follower of Jesus?

Perhaps it is time for each individual in the church and the church as a whole to take Peter’s advice in 1Peter 3:3-4.

³Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. ⁴Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Let us become lights to this world through our quiet but active devotion to our God and to the people around us.  Let each of us be like a simple, single candle burning in the darkness instead of trying to be garish neon facades like the Las Vegas strip.

* this list is a compilation of exhortations and admonitions taken from the Gospels and Epistles of the New Testament.

Observations from the Front Porch

I sat on the front porch rail listening to Ken and Daniel strum their guitars. We waved periodically as people we knew walked past the cabin on their way back to their cabin or to the cafeteria. Occasionally someone would stop and talk for awhile, but often they just waved and went on their way.

Ken’s daughter Jennifer sat next to us weaving pine needles into a decorative garland that would have been at home on any Appalachian front porch.

Only…

We weren’t in the Appalachians. We were sitting on the front porch of the Nurse’s cabin at summer camp in Pine Summit Church Camp, Prescott, Arizona. Ken and Nancy, volunteers from our church, were the camp nurses. Daniel and his wife were also volunteers, leading praise music during sessions. And, the people walking by weren’t just our neighbors, they were the volunteers and youth at the church camp.

I had just spent a week in Durango, Colorado with a bunch of high school kids, living together in college dorms for the High School summer camp and now I was in Prescott with a hundred elementary and Junior High kids for their camps.

Spending a week with your fellow Christians at a church camp can be an amazing experience, not because of the highs of worship or excitement of rock walls and other adventure experiences, but because of the mundane things that we often miss in our frenzied life back home.

Traveling together, living in close quarters, and experiencing community on a small scale is powerful, in a way that you cannot understand until you have lived it.

There is something healthy about watching the senior pastor cross the hall with his towel and shower shoes, a days scruffy growth on his face and sleep in his eyes. It may not be pretty, but it makes him seem more human and definitely decreases the hero-worship factor that some try to cultivate.

Or, walking together down to the cafeteria to pray as a group and then going in to see what culinary surprises were in store today. Those short conversations on the road are the start of long friendships. At their camp, our high school group even visited the grocery store and then came back to their cabin to prepare a huge feast together where everyone did their part; there was more food than an army could eat. That shared meal together was a lifetime investment in just a few hours.

This sort of rubbing up against each other, living life in close proximity, is missing from our world and from our churches, especially in big cities. It is just this sort of shared life and transparency that leads to healthy relationships and personal growth. It’s harder to hide behind a mask when you sleep in the room next door to each other. It’s harder to pretend to be better than someone else when you just flushed the toilet two stalls down from them. Interpersonal skills, sharing, and forgiveness are all tested when you travel crammed together for days in a van. Mistakes are made, drama occurs, tears are shed, and yet, they are all dealt with and we grow…because, in close proximity, we have to. You don't get to run away and spread your drama on Facebook. You get to grow together here and now.

Shared jokes, small conversations, meals together, and late nights on the front porch together build strong communities. It’s just too bad that more people don’t experience this. Perhaps we need church camp for adults.

The Journey - A Skit for Church

This is a skit co-written by Rodger S. Loar and Erin Paige. It was performed Sunday, January 31, 2010 at Mountain View Christian Church by Nate Allen, Rebecca Loar, and Bedillia Gonzeles. Directed by Erin Paige. Copyright January 2010.

If you like the skit and wish to use it for your church, you have our permission so long as you give written credit in the bulletin or or other service flyer as follows: "The Journey - written by Rodger S. Loar and Erin Paige, Copyright January 2010, www.rodg3r.blogspot.com."

---

The Journey

Actor A is walking across the stage very slowly. He is carrying and/or dragging a large very full army bag that is obviously very heavy. It should be stuffed with paper but also have some very heavy items that make noise especially as he sets it down. He is struggling. He tries different positions, sometimes he tries to drag it, sometimes carry it. He slips and falls. Actor A finally gets frustrated and sits down dropping the bag with a loud clunk putting his head in his hands.

(Actor B enters also carrying a bag but it is smaller and lighter.)

Actor B: Why are you just sitting here on your Christian Journey?

Actor A: Because it’s hard. I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough or strong enough for this walk. Being a Christian is not easy. This road is really rough and I’ve got all this baggage. I don’t know if I’m going to make it. (Puts head in hands)

Actor B: Wow. That’s a big bag. Whatcha got in there?

Actor A opens up his bag and begins to take items out to represent his life load.

Actor A: (Pulls out a large chain) This chain is my addiction. (Keeps pulling chain out of bag for a long time, passing it to Actor B)

Actor B: Whoa, that’s a lot of chain! That must be some addiction.

Actor A: I have carried it a very long time. I’ve tried to get help, but I just can’t seem to break it. (he pulls a short length of chain trying to break it)

(He then leaves Actor B holding the chain and then reaches back into his bag and pulls out an absurdly large Victorian type family picture frame with picture of family and barbed wire tacked around the edge) Then there is my family. My wife and I just don’t seem to enjoy each other as much anymore. We’re both so stressed and we end up taking it out on each other. We fight about everything. And the kids, they are struggling with school and getting into trouble. And then there are my inlaws, Oh my inlaws (hand on head and rolls eyes)

Actor B: (Tries to grab the frame) Ouch! Is that barbed wire on there?

Actor A: (conspiratorially) you’d have to know my family

Actor B: (gestures to her own backpack) You should see my family… (pause, while they share a knowing look) What else you got in there?

Actor A: (Pulls out a sledge hammer and a smaller claw hammer handing them to Actor B. Actor B struggles with the weight and finally sets them down) Work is rough. They laid off a lot of people last month and I don’t know how much longer I’ll have a job. And, now I’m working long hours doing all their work too! Plus, most of the guys at work aren’t Christian and they always seem to get me to do things that aren’t very Jesusy.

(He starts rooting around in the bag some more and flippantly pulls out a large wad of cash)

Actor B: Well it sure looks like money is good.

Actor A: Wait. (pulls out 5 big stacks of bills, one after the other, handing each to Actor B) Yeah, but there's more bills than money. We are constantly struggling to pay the bills. We don’t make the best choices with our money, we’re always eating out and seem to buy a bunch of stuff we don’t need. (He reaches back in the bag and pulls out a soccer ball, a drum stick, a pair of large swim flippers, ballet slippers, and a football Actor B keeps trying to hold onto everything as he pulls it out, juggling everything ) Oh yes, there’s the kids. They are so busy with sports and clubs and stuff. They’re each involved in too many activities; we are constantly running them to and from one thing to another. We barely have time to breathe.

Actor B: (somewhat taken aback) My goodness, is there more???

(Actor A reaches in bag and pulls out a very large, very sticky ball of tape [wad up black electrical tape into a big ball, with the sticky side out]) Then, there is my grudge with my dad. I am stuck and I can’t seem to let it go. I just can’t seem to forgive him for everything he did. I am so angry. (Actor A sticks the ball of tape to Actor B – Actor B responds with a grossed out look on her face)

Actor B: You know, you don’t have to walk this road alone. Everyone has their struggles. Heck, I’ve got baggage of my own (Indicates her own backpack) I’ve had people help me through. Maybe I can help. How bout we leave some of this stuff at the cross. Why don’t we start with your kids. They learn how to balance their lives from you. Maybe you could encourage them to each give up one of their activities. They don’t have to do them all and you will help them learn time management. Maybe we can leave some of this here as a start. (she places most of the sports stuff at the cross, but Actor A takes back the ballet shoes and the drum stick)

Actor A: Yeah, then they would have time for homework, or church, or maybe then I could get to see them once in awhile that’s not in the car rushing somewhere.

Actor B: Right. What about work?? Can we leave your worries about work here?

Actor A: I don’t think I’m quite ready to let go of all that yet. (He leaves large hammer on the ground, but takes small hammer and puts it in the pack).)

Actor B: That’s ok. Maybe we can work on that together. I know it’s hard, but we can be praying together. And don’t forget, I can help you carry things too. In fact, give me some of that chain (she takes half and puts it in her bag, the rest is left where it lays on the ground).

Actor A: I would like to be better with my money. Can you help me find ways to do that too?

Actor B: Sure. I have a friend at church who’s really good with money. I’ll introduce you Sunday. He helped me learn how to save and even give money back to God by donating to church and some of my favorite charities. Do you think you can leave your money here and trust God with it?

Actor A: Yeah I’d like to. It is really hard, maybe I could just leave part of it now. (takes about half of the money and leaves it in front of the cross, puts the rest of the money and the bills back in the bag for now).

Actor B: There! Your load is looking lighter already. Let’s keep walking. Maybe we can learn some things together.

(The 2 continue walking. Actor A stumbles but Actor B helps them back up and they keep walking.)

Actor C comes on stage struggling with a large bag of her own. Actor A and Actor B watch for a moment and then Actor B starts to walk over to help. But, Actor A puts a hand out to stop her and says:

Actor A: That’s alright! I’ve got this one! (heads over and puts his hand on Actor C’s shoulder) “You know, you don’t have to walk this road alone.

(lights fade to black. Galatians 6:2 is displayed on the video screen while a voice reads it aloud.)

Galatians 6:2 Carry Each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ