Don't Judge Me, But......

“Please don’t judge me, but……..” In my job, I meet a lot of people who have questions. They almost always start out the conversation with a funny request. “Please don’t judge me, but…” They then go on to share some personal story about life issues and end asking what to do about the situation they are in. They want answers, but they don’t want me to use judgment. Invariably the question that they have or the situation that they are in is because of poor life choices.

Now, I know what they mean here. They don’t want me to wag a finger in their face and belittle them for being an evil sinner. I can honestly say that I have never wagged my finger in someone’s face when they came to me with such a question, but it’s funny that they seem to expect something along these lines.

“Judge not, lest ye be judged!!!” is another form of this that I hear. It seems to be the one Bible verse that everyone seems to know. They also, all seem to know the King James Version as if that makes it more powerful. This is generally said when someone has done something sufficiently awful enough that they already know it was bad and don’t want to hear about it.

Judgment.

What’s wrong with judgment.

Is it always a bad thing?

Is it ever a good thing?

When I drive up to the auto dealer and see the guy come out with the polyester suit and slick hair who gives me a price, “just cuz it’s you.” I immediately apply judgment to the situation. If not, I drive off in a junky car that I paid too much for.

When someone comes up to me and tells me that I can make money just by purchasing this box of stuff and then getting three other people under me and three other people under them and so on. I immediately apply judgment to the situation. If not, I end up with a box of cleaning supplies that no one wants and a sales bit that no one else is going to fall for.

When I open the jug of milk and it smells bad, I immediately apply some judgment. If not, I end up tossing my cookies from food poisoning. Been there, done that, got the stains on my T-shirt.

When I want to cross the road at Central and Thomas, and see the ‘Don’t Walk’ sign, I immediately apply judgment to the situation. If not, I end up squished underneath the Light Rail Train. I’m pretty sure that would hurt.

Judgment is not a bad thing, but the application or lack of application may be.

When I see a young girl who has gotten pregnant and is now having problems because her boyfriend is a jerk, I wonder why she didn’t apply a healthy helping of judgment before having sex with the guy.

When I meet someone who is in terrible financial trouble because they bought a house they couldn’t really afford, are in debt for two cars that are out of their realistic price range and have thousands of dollars of credit card debt; I wonder if the judicial use of judgment might actually benefit them.

When a guy comes complaining that his wife is divorcing him because she busted him sleeping around with her best friend, I wonder if a bit of judgment might just be in order.

Perhaps our society might do with some more judgment. Just a little smidge here and a dab there. Perhaps this is a niche industry that some entrepreneurial type might invest in. Let’s hire a bunch of older ladies in their 60s and 70s to be surrogate judgers. We could rent them out to everyday people. The grannies would follow you around and smack you in the back of the head each time you should use a little judgment.

"Hmmm. Maybe I’ll sneak out of work early today, the boss’ll never know." (((((SLAP)))))

"Hey Liz, my wife is out of town tonight, wanna go out?" (((((SLAP)))))

"Oh baby, of course I’ll love you in the morning." (((((SLAP))))) (((((SLAP))))) (one for each of them)

After awhile, Grannie wouldn't even have to slap you every time. She could just wag her finger and you'd stop and actually think about what you are doing. You might even use a little judgment.

A little judgment applied judicially at the right place and right time just might be the ticket. I really think this idea could catch on. Anyone want to take me up on the business side of this? I’ll have to copyright the idea. Maybe I’ll invest my life savings in hiring Grandmas.

(((((SLAP)))))

What's Wrong With the Middle Ground?

A friend of mine has this wise saying about not sitting on fences because you'll get splinters in uncomfortable areas. This latest health care bill has me asking some questions about the middle ground? What's wrong with it? Why do we have to be Democrats or Republicans? Why can't we support the president (of either party) but still question his ideas?

What’s wrong with believing that the poorest people should be covered by health care but not believing that the government should go into debt to provide it for everyone, including people who could already afford it if they were just wiser with their money?

What’s wrong with believing that we should open up more immigration from South America but still protect our border from terrorists and drug gangs?

What’s wrong with believing that the US should quit arresting people for using or possessing marijuana but believing that we should strongly prosecute heavy drugs?

What’s wrong with believing that the right to bear arms is a fundamental right of citizens but still believing that wise restrictions on full-auto and heavy calibers is reasonable?

What’s wrong with believing that congress should enact no laws regarding the establishment or prevention of free exercise of religion but still believing that it is ok for a politician to vote based on their moral and religious beliefs?

What’s wrong with believing that we must protect ourselves as a nation, but not believing that it is acceptable to use torture in any form?

What’s wrong with believing it is a good idea to give youth accurate sex education without believing that we should be telling second graders about oral and anal sex?

What’s wrong with believing that I should keep more of the money that I worked for but not minding paying some taxes if they are going to be used for the common good?

What’s wrong with believing that civil rights belong to everyone but still recognizing that you don’t have a ‘right’ to do anything you want?

What’s wrong with believing that each of us should work hard to shoulder our own load without expecting the government to do it for us, but also believing that there should be state agencies there to help the extreme cases who do need help?

What’s wrong with supporting our soldiers and military but not believing that the war in Iraq is right?

What’s wrong with believing in personal responsibility but also believing in community support?

What’s wrong with expecting politicians to do the right thing and not believe that they should do everything that falls in the party line?

What’s wrong with expecting politicians NOT to resort to bribery, corruption, and coercion to get a bill past and believing that an idea will stand or fall on its own merit?

What’s wrong with believing that democrats should remember that they represent everyone and not just other democrats and what’s wrong with believing that republicans should remember that they represent everyone and not just other republicans?

What’s wrong with expecting politicians not to mortgage my children’s future by buying things that they can’t afford ?

What’s wrong with being independent of political parties and voting for the candidate that you believe will do the best job?

What’s wrong with standing up for the hard thing that is the right thing to do even though it means my family doesn’t have an easy out by depending on the government?

What’s wrong with believing that politicians should be honest and actually read and understand what they are voting into law?

What’s wrong with believing that the U.S. Constitution was well written and should actually be followed by our elected representatives?

Can someone tell me what's wrong with this?

Really a Hero

One of the high school girls that I work with was assigned to write a paper about a hero. She chose to write her essay on Tiger Woods. I barely suppressed my gag reflex as I asked her why she chose him. She said that he had done great things. “What, other than play golf,” I asked. She said, “Well, he gives money to help kids go to college.” Evidently that makes him a hero. I asked her what other kids in her class were doing theirs on. The top three on the list were all entertainers.

This is not my definition of a hero.

To be a hero requires sacrifice.

If a billionaire gives a million dollars to charity, then he isn’t a hero. Effectively that is no different from me giving fifty dollars to charity (based on last year’s salary calculations). Mark 12:41-44 tells of Jesus watching people give an offering. The poorest of the poor gives a large percentage of what little she had. The rich gave a small percentage of their wealth. She is a lot closer to a hero than they were.

I am not denigrating Tiger’s generosity by any means, I merely point out that he doesn’t rise to the status of hero by doing it.

Entertainers aren’t heroes either. Rarely are they even worth emulating in any way. They don’t sacrifice for others. Generally, any sacrifice that they do is only to further their own career or boost their public image.

Tiger Woods is not a hero. He is just an exceptionally good golfer who happens to give a little back. Charles Barkley had it right when he said, “I’m no role model.” He isn’t. Athletes, Movie Stars, politicians and other ‘stars’ aren’t role models and they aren’t heroes. Narcissism, Adultery, Abuse, Self-aggrandizement, Drug Use, Drunkenness, Obnoxious Behavior, and other such bad behavior is not worthy of the word hero.

I would define a hero as someone who sacrifices for others. A firefighter who risks his life to run into a burning building to save children. That’s a hero. A soldier who jumps on a grenade to save his comrades. That’s a hero. A police officer who takes a bullet in the line of duty, protecting us. That’s a hero.

There are other heroes in my book. Teachers who spend their lives making low pay because they have a passion for teaching children. Those are heroes. Youth ministers who invest their lives in kids. Those are heroes. Aid workers who spend their years digging wells to provide clean water in Africa. Those are heroes. Doctors and Nurses who give up their vacations to treat medical diseases in South America. Those are heroes. Missionaries who rescue pre-teen girls from sex slavery and give them a future. Those are heroes. Volunteers who go to hospice to hold the hands of an AIDs patient as they die. Those are heroes.

We need to redefine our concept of hero and I can only hope that the teacher who originally gave this assignment will spend some time discussing what makes a hero.

A suggestion for Tiger - My friend, perhaps instead of spending all that time on the golf course or in the bedrooms of a bunch of young ladies who aren't your wife, you might take your family and spend some time serving the homeless at a local shelter. Just an idea. And, Tiger, if you want some more suggestions or help in this matter, give me a call. I'll buy you lunch and we'll come up with some ways to do some real hero work. I'd feel better about the hero thing then.

The Hardest Blog

They say that you should never begin a speech, sermon, lesson, or essay with an apology or explanation. Well, I am going to do that anyway and 'they' can just stuff it.

This is probably the hardest single topic that I have written on yet. I guarantee it will offend many who read it and that saddens me. I do not apologize for the offence because this is a topic that should get out in the open and be discussed. If you read this, I urge you to make a strong effort to really think about what is being said and don’t just jump to conclusions. Also, be aware that I address each side and the issues for both. This is NOT one-sided by any stretch of the imagination. I truly don’t expect much from this. Most people will only read this from their point of view and be angry as soon as I question one of their beliefs. With that said, I have felt a deep need to open this discussion up as it affects my relationships with quite a few people.

I have not written in some time, due to work load at the Church and in my masters program. But, also, I’ve been working on-again-off-again on this blog. I wanted to be sure that I said everything as clearly as possible. I wanted to get it right.

- - - - - - - - - -

Who will go to them?

This was the clarion call of Christian missionaries in the 19^th and 20^th century. Whoever the people group, there were willing missionaries, people who went out in God’s love. Now, I won’t romanticize it too much, I know there were bad apples, but the truth is, it didn’t matter how remote the people group was, it didn’t matter how dangerous they were, it didn’t matter what their customs were; Christians went to them to show Christ’s love. They crossed mountains. They went across vast oceans. They went to lepers. They went to tuberculosis communities. They went to cannibals. They went to places where they knew they would never come home from.

While that fervor has diminished some, and taken with it some of the colonial and racial issues that some missionaries took with them; there still are missionaries who go out today. They fill practical human needs like food for the hungry, medical aid, education for women, and fighting modern-day slavery. They bring love. They go to parts of the world where it could mean imprisonment, beatings, and death for the work they do. But still they go.

Everywhere. Except for one place.

To Everyone. Except for one people group. One social group.

These people are treated as unacceptable, untouchable, unsavable.

The Bible says, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish” No one is excluded, so long as they believe in Him.

Yet we exclude one group.

Jesus says, “Therefore go make disciples of ALL nations…” There is no exception clause in that statement.

Yet we have created an exception to that.

My heart tears over this issue. I am sure God’s does too.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, the people that I am referring is the GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered) community.

I have friends and relatives who are part of this group. I say that not to be cliché, “some of my best friends are black people.” No, I say that to be clear about why I struggle with this issue and why my heart is broken over it.

The worst part of this situation is that there are two distinctly polarized sides who have made up their mind and aren’t interested in dialog. On one side, you have people like the Phelps in Kansas who picket funerals with signs like “God Hates Fags.” For the record, I do NOT consider them Christian and they do NOT speak for me. I have written on this before. Click here to read about that.

The other side has its militants too. Those who are in-your-face and angry picketing churches, force people to resign from public office for holding opinions that disagree with them, and other similar behavior.

These two groups of people aren’t interested in truth, reconciliation, or mercy. They won’t change their minds, they don’t want to be distracted by silly things like truth or facts. This article is addressed to everyone else.

The first casualty of any conflict is truth and the first step to reconciliation is honesty.

Both sides are guilty of lies. Both sides are guilty of marketing that twists the facts.

Here are some observations that I believe to be the truth:

1. Jesus loved sinners, no matter what they had done. He hung out with regular people, as well as traitors, liars, prostitutes, and thieves. He was gentle but firm and truthful in love with these people. The ONLY people he got angry with and rebuked were the religious leaders who were hurting others with their pious hypocrisy. I believe that, if Jesus were here in the U.S.A today, we’d be more likely to encounter him on the streets around Berkley than anywhere near most churches. This is not because most churches are bad, but because He was active with the real people in His community when He was here last time.

2. The Bible is quite clear that the act of homosexual sex is considered a sin, something that God did not intend for us to do. I can’t get around that. I have seen lots of attempts at explaining it all away, but let’s just get it out in the open. If you are intellectually honest with your Greek and Hebrew, there is no doubt on this issue.

3. The Bible is also quite clear that gossip, lust, hatred, favoritism, ignoring poverty, injustice, and a number of other issues are also sin. In fact, gossip and money issues are much more than homosexuality. In James, it says that anyone guilty of breaking one of the laws of God is guilty of breaking all of the laws. A sinner is a sinner is a sinner. Jesus came to provide a way back to God for ALL sinners, not just for a few narrow ones.

4. Gay marriage is not an existing right that is being denied, but a new right that has not existed before in this nation or in almost every other. Let’s be honest about that. This is not an issue for the courts, but an issue for the ballot box. The cool thing about living in the U.S. is that we can craft new laws and make society look the way we want it. If that is something you do believe in, lobby for it, write up a proposition, and then go vote. If that is something you don’t believe in, you can vote against it.

5. Homosexuality, as with many other issues of the human condition, cannot be explained by simple sound bites about nature or nurture. Those scientists searching for the ‘Gay Gene’ won’t solve anything if they find it. One side will say, “There, that proves it, it is a disease that can be cured.” The other side will say, “There, that proves it, it is just the natural way that I am, like blue eyes and brown hair, there is nothing to cure.” And the fight will go on.

6. If you expect to be respected, you have to give respect too. I don’t care which side of this issue that you are on, you should have learned this back in kindergarten. You may feel strongly about this issue one way or another, but please understand that there are very real, heartfelt people on both sides of this issue. Any time you reach the point where it is us versus them, the other side becomes less than human and you start down the slippery slope that leads to evils done in the name of your belief system (whether religious or secular, there are plenty of examples of each). Maybe, just maybe, you could actually try to understand the other side. Maybe, just maybe you could actually seek out people on the other side and attempt to get to know them. Maybe, just maybe you could be friendly and respectful even when you don’t agree.

7. God’s concern throughout the Bible is Holiness. Yet, reading Exodus and the Gospels shows that He chose a people that were imperfect, broken, and human. He provided our Holiness in the form of Jesus. His death covers all sins of those who believe in Him, not just the ones you are comfortable with.

As I said, this is near to my heart. Someone very close to me shared her story. She told of going to evangelical churches during the time she was struggling with her sexuality. She told of hearing people make statements that told her God loved everyone but her, because she might be lesbian. She told of feeling alone in the middle of the very people who should have loved her. I interrupted her story at that point to apologize to her and tell her that it is not supposed to be that way.

She says that her wife, who I am only just beginning to get to know, is an atheist who hates God and religion because of past experiences. I don’t know her story and would not presume to judge her. I only hope that I can communicate that God does love her, as do I.

Another person that I care a great deal about is transsexual. I truly and honestly don’t understand the issues she faces, and conversations are certainly a struggle with pronouns, but I care deeply about this person. She told me last time that she probably will never be able to go to church again.

There are others, but the issues are the same. Even if they know Christ, they probably will never feel welcome at many churches; for that, I want to weep.

I also have people on the other side. I have relatives who are victims of the recent ELCA decisions. My brother-in-law lost his church because of it. A friend of mine belongs to a church who may lose their property because of it. They face a form of persecution because they do stand for God’s word when others try to redefine it.

I believe that this issue is the defining issue of the Christian church today, and will be the source of much more struggle. That saddens me.

For me, it comes down to this:

· I believe that it is possible to be gay and Christian. There are people within my congregation that are homosexual as well as ones who have had such experiences. I do not condemn them, their story is their story.

· Based on God’s word, I could not, in good conscience, perform the marriage ceremony for a same-sex couple, but I would attend such a wedding were I invited. I have attended a Muslim wedding and many secular weddings. Their beliefs may differ from mine, but that doesn’t change my love for them or my willingness to be there for them.

· I love God, believe evidentially that His Word is true and that He exists, so I will continue to follow His example and love all humankind gay or straight.

· Whether you agree with me or not, I don’t consider this issue to be a test of fellowship. I hope you won’t either. I care about you whether you are gay or straight, republican or democrat, male or female, tall or short, Lutheran or Jew, atheist or agnostic, vanilla or chocolate, or tastes great or less filling.

Here is my challenge to each of you:

If you are Christian – please don’t base your entire theology on just a few verses (for this or any other issue). Don’t be arrogant, cruel, or unwelcoming. None of that is worthy of our Lord. Examine yourself first, remove the log from your own eye before you point out the speck in your brother’s. Are you really living up to God’s Word yourself? Are you basing your beliefs on your own prejudice? Don’t miss the common theme of the Old Testament and the New Testament of God’s hatred of injustice of His love of the oppressed and the marginalized people. And, please don’t support any group, congregation, or ministry that participates in the marginalization of any group of people. I certainly won't.

If you are GLBT – don’t judge an entire people by the loud words of a few, as I won’t judge your individuals based on the obnoxious actions of the worst of your side. Also, don’t call a person a homophobe just because they do not agree with you. That is unfair and in most cases will be untrue. If your argument is strong enough, then ad hominem attacks are unnecessary. If you preach open-mindedness and tolerance, then that means you have to accept people who believe differently than you do. Don’t miss your own hypocrisy there. And, on the same issue of hypocrisy, don’t pretend that it is only Christians who may have prejudice against you. The truth is, there is stratification, bigotry, and intolerance within the GLBT community, too. There are gays who don’t like lesbians, and neither group accepts transgenders. There are those who want to quietly go about their lives that aren’t accepted by the Outers. Just be aware that humanity is messed up all over the place and not just in one group.

I pray that some healthy dialog comes out of this. I love to discuss issues. Jesus says, “blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” I would like to be a peacemaker.

This brings me back to the beginning…

Who will go to them?

- - - - - - - - - -

This is another issue that I invite you to speak to me in person about. I’d love to sit down over coffee and talk about it. As always, I will buy the coffee (or tea), I invite you to take me up on this.

Note – I welcome comments from readers, especially heartfelt ones. But, I will NOT publish anything that denigrates either side or anything using derogatory terms. I have no time or patience for that level of ignorance.

The Journey - A Skit for Church

This is a skit co-written by Rodger S. Loar and Erin Paige. It was performed Sunday, January 31, 2010 at Mountain View Christian Church by Nate Allen, Rebecca Loar, and Bedillia Gonzeles. Directed by Erin Paige. Copyright January 2010.

If you like the skit and wish to use it for your church, you have our permission so long as you give written credit in the bulletin or or other service flyer as follows: "The Journey - written by Rodger S. Loar and Erin Paige, Copyright January 2010, www.rodg3r.blogspot.com."

---

The Journey

Actor A is walking across the stage very slowly. He is carrying and/or dragging a large very full army bag that is obviously very heavy. It should be stuffed with paper but also have some very heavy items that make noise especially as he sets it down. He is struggling. He tries different positions, sometimes he tries to drag it, sometimes carry it. He slips and falls. Actor A finally gets frustrated and sits down dropping the bag with a loud clunk putting his head in his hands.

(Actor B enters also carrying a bag but it is smaller and lighter.)

Actor B: Why are you just sitting here on your Christian Journey?

Actor A: Because it’s hard. I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough or strong enough for this walk. Being a Christian is not easy. This road is really rough and I’ve got all this baggage. I don’t know if I’m going to make it. (Puts head in hands)

Actor B: Wow. That’s a big bag. Whatcha got in there?

Actor A opens up his bag and begins to take items out to represent his life load.

Actor A: (Pulls out a large chain) This chain is my addiction. (Keeps pulling chain out of bag for a long time, passing it to Actor B)

Actor B: Whoa, that’s a lot of chain! That must be some addiction.

Actor A: I have carried it a very long time. I’ve tried to get help, but I just can’t seem to break it. (he pulls a short length of chain trying to break it)

(He then leaves Actor B holding the chain and then reaches back into his bag and pulls out an absurdly large Victorian type family picture frame with picture of family and barbed wire tacked around the edge) Then there is my family. My wife and I just don’t seem to enjoy each other as much anymore. We’re both so stressed and we end up taking it out on each other. We fight about everything. And the kids, they are struggling with school and getting into trouble. And then there are my inlaws, Oh my inlaws (hand on head and rolls eyes)

Actor B: (Tries to grab the frame) Ouch! Is that barbed wire on there?

Actor A: (conspiratorially) you’d have to know my family

Actor B: (gestures to her own backpack) You should see my family… (pause, while they share a knowing look) What else you got in there?

Actor A: (Pulls out a sledge hammer and a smaller claw hammer handing them to Actor B. Actor B struggles with the weight and finally sets them down) Work is rough. They laid off a lot of people last month and I don’t know how much longer I’ll have a job. And, now I’m working long hours doing all their work too! Plus, most of the guys at work aren’t Christian and they always seem to get me to do things that aren’t very Jesusy.

(He starts rooting around in the bag some more and flippantly pulls out a large wad of cash)

Actor B: Well it sure looks like money is good.

Actor A: Wait. (pulls out 5 big stacks of bills, one after the other, handing each to Actor B) Yeah, but there's more bills than money. We are constantly struggling to pay the bills. We don’t make the best choices with our money, we’re always eating out and seem to buy a bunch of stuff we don’t need. (He reaches back in the bag and pulls out a soccer ball, a drum stick, a pair of large swim flippers, ballet slippers, and a football Actor B keeps trying to hold onto everything as he pulls it out, juggling everything ) Oh yes, there’s the kids. They are so busy with sports and clubs and stuff. They’re each involved in too many activities; we are constantly running them to and from one thing to another. We barely have time to breathe.

Actor B: (somewhat taken aback) My goodness, is there more???

(Actor A reaches in bag and pulls out a very large, very sticky ball of tape [wad up black electrical tape into a big ball, with the sticky side out]) Then, there is my grudge with my dad. I am stuck and I can’t seem to let it go. I just can’t seem to forgive him for everything he did. I am so angry. (Actor A sticks the ball of tape to Actor B – Actor B responds with a grossed out look on her face)

Actor B: You know, you don’t have to walk this road alone. Everyone has their struggles. Heck, I’ve got baggage of my own (Indicates her own backpack) I’ve had people help me through. Maybe I can help. How bout we leave some of this stuff at the cross. Why don’t we start with your kids. They learn how to balance their lives from you. Maybe you could encourage them to each give up one of their activities. They don’t have to do them all and you will help them learn time management. Maybe we can leave some of this here as a start. (she places most of the sports stuff at the cross, but Actor A takes back the ballet shoes and the drum stick)

Actor A: Yeah, then they would have time for homework, or church, or maybe then I could get to see them once in awhile that’s not in the car rushing somewhere.

Actor B: Right. What about work?? Can we leave your worries about work here?

Actor A: I don’t think I’m quite ready to let go of all that yet. (He leaves large hammer on the ground, but takes small hammer and puts it in the pack).)

Actor B: That’s ok. Maybe we can work on that together. I know it’s hard, but we can be praying together. And don’t forget, I can help you carry things too. In fact, give me some of that chain (she takes half and puts it in her bag, the rest is left where it lays on the ground).

Actor A: I would like to be better with my money. Can you help me find ways to do that too?

Actor B: Sure. I have a friend at church who’s really good with money. I’ll introduce you Sunday. He helped me learn how to save and even give money back to God by donating to church and some of my favorite charities. Do you think you can leave your money here and trust God with it?

Actor A: Yeah I’d like to. It is really hard, maybe I could just leave part of it now. (takes about half of the money and leaves it in front of the cross, puts the rest of the money and the bills back in the bag for now).

Actor B: There! Your load is looking lighter already. Let’s keep walking. Maybe we can learn some things together.

(The 2 continue walking. Actor A stumbles but Actor B helps them back up and they keep walking.)

Actor C comes on stage struggling with a large bag of her own. Actor A and Actor B watch for a moment and then Actor B starts to walk over to help. But, Actor A puts a hand out to stop her and says:

Actor A: That’s alright! I’ve got this one! (heads over and puts his hand on Actor C’s shoulder) “You know, you don’t have to walk this road alone.

(lights fade to black. Galatians 6:2 is displayed on the video screen while a voice reads it aloud.)

Galatians 6:2 Carry Each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ

Maid of Money

I was a maid for six hours once. I didn’t wear a short black dress with white lace and I didn’t wield a fluffy feather duster, but, I was a maid. For six hours. Once.

This was back when I was dating my wife-to-be. She worked at an exclusive resort on the back of Camelback Mountain where the rich and famous paid thousands of dollars a night to stay in private bungalows and cottages. She was a turn-down maid that came into the rooms in the evening to clean the room and straighten up, complete with turning down the covers and leaving a chocolate on the pillow. One night, she was terribly sick and couldn’t work and there was some risk to losing her job. Somehow I got wrangled into filling in for her; it was after hours and her boss would never know. Her friend would show me the ropes.

The turn-down part was no big deal, but the bathroom cleanup was awful. Piles of sopping wet towels in the bathtub. Tighty-whities hung over the shower rod…Wet. All of the little soaps, shampoos, tissue box, and toilet paper taken along with all the towels and bathrobes in one room (presumably stored away in a bag to take home). 1 overflowed clogged toilet surrounded by towels soaked with a suspiciously brown liquid. Bras hanging from the faucet. Washcloths in the bidet. Why did everything have to be wet? Somehow that made it worse.

I learned a little lesson that night. Money and fame don’t make a person any better than anyone else.

We are beginning a study in church on the book of James. There is a whole section in James 2:1-9 on the issue of favoritism. This is an important issue for Christians. We had better not treat someone better because they have a lot of money.

Do we treat people better in this society if they are rich or famous? Yes.

Even our kids are caught up in this chase for wealth and fame. Article

Is this healthy for our society? No!

The economic situation that we are in today can be tied directly to our propensity to live way beyond our means, trying to live the lifestyle of a rich person when we do not have the means to do so. Our kids are pressured to be the best at sports or at their schoolwork so that they can have a top career and make lots of money some day. We are the richest nation in the world and the poorest of our people are richer than most of the rest of the world. Why then, this frenetic rush for more wealth?

Money itself is not a bad thing. The love of money is. Solomon, one of the richest men in history learned this and penned Ecclesiastes 5:10. The Apostle Paul also addressed this in one of the most often misquoted verses in the Bible: 1 Timothy 6:9-10.

The truth is that the rich and famous are just like everyone else. Bill Gates may have more money than most third-world countries, but he still scratches his butt in the morning. Michael Jordan has fame and money and still gets eye boogers. Megan Fox breaks wind. Hugh Jackman has toe jam. Mary Kate and Ashley get morning breath. There’s the misbehavior of Lindsey Lohan, Kanye West, or Britney Spears. And, let’s not even talk about politicians.

Who you are as a person is much more important than what you have or the power you wield. Character matters. It is far better to live a life of simplicity and contentment than to strive and stress trying to reach for something that will never bring you happiness.

Teach this to your children. There is value in the work they do that far exceeds what they receive from it. There is significance in what you give generously that surpasses anything that you hoard miserly. And, the fame that you have among your loved ones will last much longer than fame that the media can give you.

I don’t ever want to be a maid again. But I will carry that memory with me.

I did earn a two dollar tip from an old man that night for doing such a good job.

Dear Eric

Dear Eric,

I wanted to take a moment to say thank you for allowing me to attend your funeral. I never had the privilege of meeting you in life, but I want you to know that your life has touched mine. I understand that your close friends called you “Shoe,” but since I’m not that close, I hope it is not too casual for me to call you Eric.

Earlier this week, a friend of mine, Deputy Moody from the Yavapai County Sheriff’s Department honored me with an invitation to accompany him to the funeral of a fallen officer, murdered in the line of duty. I had heard the details on the news and said a hurried prayer for your family, but truly hadn’t given it much more thought, until Deputy Moody emailed me the invitation.

I joined him and about 2500 officers from all around Arizona and the Nation to honor your sacrifice, to cry with your family, and to mourn your passing. It really was quite a shindig, complete with tears, laughter, and nostalgia. From the descriptions given by your family and friends, I think you might have appreciated it, but probably would have chosen to be somewhere else, skiing, barbecuing, or hanging out with friends.

I have been to quite a few funerals, and I have figured out that some eulogies are merely lip service to a person who hardly mattered or worse, wasn’t liked by those around them. Other services, like yours, show that the person was truly loved, truly touched the people around them, truly made a difference in this world. The stories shared by your friends, family, and fellow officers told the story of a man who loved his daughters, loved a practical joke, and was a big presence in the lives of everyone he met. You lived a life of service and capped it off giving your life in the line of duty.

Speaking about your daughters, I cried for them. My heart ached to see them walk in looking stunned and unsure, living their own private nightmare in front of the world. I prayed for them. Your family shared a picture montage of your life, and it seemed that most of the pictures were of you and one or both of your daughters, smiling, playing, and loving. As a dad myself, I respect you for that, and I hurt that much more because a good dad was taken far too early. How can you put a price on the loss of a hundred piggyback rides that will never happen, thousands of hugs from daddy that they’ll never get, and never getting to be walked down the aisle by you.

I hope it helped your family some to see the processional. What an amazing experience that was; hundreds of police cars driving along with lights flashing on the trip to the grave side service. People lined the road, many stopping their cars to get out and watch, hands over their hearts. Many people had brought their children out, holding them up to wave as the police cars passed. Others waved American flags or held signs of respect for you and encouragement for your family. That is respect for a man who most definitely deserved it. It’s a shame that it takes this type of event for people to show respect to officers such as you.

I can say this much, policemen really know how to throw a hell of a funeral. Helicopters flew overhead in a missing man formation. They led a horse with the boots facing backwards in the stirrups. Taps was played, followed by the skirl of bagpipes and a 21 gun salute. An honor guard from dozens of police, sheriff, and fire departments watched over your family and your body on the procession to graveside. The American flag was removed from your coffin and given to your family. I cried again when they gave your final radio call. Thousands of officers wept for you and your family. It was sure something to see all those burly, rough-tough men and women crying and sniffling.

I’m hate that there are evil men in this world like the scum who shot you and shot at other officers that terrible night. It’s too bad that they were only wounded in the return fire. To quote the Sergeant who spoke at your funeral, “It’s too bad that the one who shot you didn’t die, but we all know that cockroaches don’t always die when you squash them.” I’m pretty sure that wasn’t a politically correct thing to say, but I’m glad he said it. We were all thinking it. The one shining thing in all of this is that there are men and women warriors like you, patrolling our streets, protecting the good people from the evil ones. Another appropriate quote in this situation goes something like this, “good men sleep safe in their beds because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” Thank you for being one of those rough men.

The saddest part about all of this is that the world goes on. The ones who were responsible will go to prison and live on. Even if one or both of them receive the death penalty, it will be decades before justice is served. Your family whose hearts ache right now with raw sorrow, must keep going. Your girls will grow up with a hole in their hearts, but will have to make it, even if they don't see how right now. Fellow officers must keep patrolling, risking their lives daily, just as you did. The community keeps living, the world keeps turning, and you will be forgotten by most. That is the harshest injustice of it all. That’s why I chose to write this letter to you. Someone has to remember.

Thank you, Lieutenant Shuhandler for your service. 10-7, your duty is over. Your fellow officers will take up the duty. Your model of service will guide them. I only hope that I can live up to your example of fatherhood and of service. Thank again and rest in peace.

A Friend Who Never Knew You,

Rodger S. Loar

Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for another. John 15:13

If you are touched by this story and actually want to do something - please consider making a donation to the 100 Club of Phoenix that provides for the families of fallen police officers and firefighters.

www.100club.org

Also, if you see a police officer this week, stop and shake their hand and thank them for their service.

Turning 100

So here we are. One hundred blogs. Who knew I had so much to say? (no rude comments please). Yes, I do have a lot to say, and who can help it when you look on this world and see all the weirdness out there.

I started this blog for two reasons: first, it is cathartic for me to write what I am thinking. I observe the world and see issues that need to be discussed, laughed at, or pondered. Secondly, I wanted to work on my story telling ability. Stories are a powerful way to communicate truth. All the more so when you can use humor to take some of the sting out of truth.

I truly appreciate those of you who read these blogs and especially those who offer comments. You may not agree with me on everything, but I hope you understand that you are truly welcome to comment in a friendly and respectful way.

So, what should I write about for my hundredth blog? I think narcissism would be a most excellent topic. What better word to define a blog than that? Most blogs are, in some form or another, the meandering thoughts of one person on the things that they are most interested in. Yes, this one is too. A blog is kind of like a diary that can be read by anyone. So, as the blogger, you write this pseudo-diary always with the idea that someone might be reading it. Therefore, it probably will never be as transparent as a real diary.

If you are still with me here (and obviously, I hope that you are), you may be doubting the purpose of a good blog. Well, stick with me. Narcissism is at the heart of the ills of our world. Our love of self starts young. Babies are absolutely narcissistic. All they care about is their own needs; they don’t even notice that you have needs. Trust me on this one, I have a four month old at home.

As we grow up in society, most of our parents and teachers make an attempt to teach us not to be so self-focused. Your kindergarten teacher likely taught you to share and other teachers made you write reports about world events. But, ultimately, this is almost a losing battle, because the same people are teaching you a contradictory message as they worry about your self esteem.

Self esteem sounds like a good concept. It sucks to be the kid who doesn’t get any valentines, so the teachers make everyone bring in valentines for everyone else. No one likes to lose, so the teachers have games where everyone wins. And, bad grades may make the child feel sad, so they get rid of those pesky ‘F’s. The funny thing about self esteem is that serial killers and other sociopaths have the highest self esteem of anyone. Maybe self esteem is just another form of narcissism.

I believe that the only hope for our day-to-day world is for us to get our eyes off of ourselves and look outward and upward. Obviously, as a pastor, I believe that we need to look to God for our values. But, we also need to look after each other. To grow as a human being, we absolutely must care about others and touch their lives. We have a deep-seated, internal need to help others, in order to be better people ourselves.

The challenge here for each of us must be to immediately begin loving others, even those people that seem unloveable. This must be done in practical, sacrificial ways: giving up part of your paycheck to donate to charities that help people, spending part of our time volunteering, and actively teaching our kids that life is not just about them.

I have personally taken this challenge for myself and I invite you to do the same. A little narcissism, in the form of this blog, isn’t such a bad thing, unless that’s all I do. Get up and join me in doing something to make a difference in this world.

But, don't forget to read my blog next week.