Pride and Prejudice

I am a racist and very prejudiced; I hate people who are different from me.  At least, that’s what the writer of a recent email accused me of.  He was kind about it, suggesting it in an oblique way, couching it in the nicest terms possible; but it sure didn’t feel very nice.  I was so hurt and angry, that I had to kick in my personal safety rule about email.  Never respond by email when you are mad.  It actually took me four attempts at re-writing my response, in order to calm down and be a peacemaker instead of firing back an accusatory and sarcastic response in the same character as his original email.

The story behind it is very long, but the short version is that we disagreed on how to help the homeless.  Our church and several other churches, charities, and ministries were asked by the Phoenix Police to assist them by feeding the homeless at a different location than the city park.  The location is a short walk away from the park, has a gymnasium and kitchen and helps resolve issues of the neighborhood families who would like to take their kids to the park without having to see people defecating near their picnic (actual event) or having pedophiles preying on their kids (two actual events).  The homeless are still allowed to use the park, they just cannot camp there and the many groups who feed them are asked to move to this ministry other location that is a mile away.  We agreed to work with the police and the neighborhoods, this other group did not.  We are still feeding the homeless and, what’s more, helping some to get off the street, into housing, and back to work (4 in the last month).  Even cooler, we are able to get dozens of ministries and charities to work together, pooling our resources and thus doing more than any one of us could alone.

I offered to meet with the fellow who emailed me and talk.  I offered to listen and provide answers if he needed.  I thought that perhaps he misunderstood.  He wasn’t interested in talking with someone he doesn’t agree with.  He missed the irony of his own email, as much of his problem was based on his own prejudiced assumptions about me that he never bothered to clarify.

I have a friend on Facebook who likes to spout strong opinions on political issues.  (actually, I have several like that).  This one, in particular, regularly reposted half-truths about the opposing party, internet rumors, and false statistics to back up his point.  I used to post responses to his comments on a regular basis, asking questions, positing a different point-of-view, or posting links to Snopes.com and factcheck.org when he posted things that were internet hoaxes, or I would post links to surveys which might dispute or clarify what he is saying.  He privately messaged me and asked me to no longer do this because he didn’t appreciate how I made him look bad.  I think that I have to give him some props for being intellectually honest about his intellectual dishonesty. 

In both of these cases, the issue at hand was pride.  Neither one of them could conceive that there might be another way, therefore, the problem was me – not them.

I have a friend who is transgender.  We correspond on social media and meet for coffee every couple of months to talk.  I try to listen and understand.  I have to be completely honest here – I don’t really understand.  I have no frame of reference on the struggle; it’s not mine.  Because I have known him longer than her, pronouns can be a struggle.  But, I listen.  I ask questions.  I seek understanding.

I have friends who are far-right conservatives.  I don’t agree with them on many issues, most especially immigration, government regulation, and the way we treat this planet.  I believe they’ve got some things right, especially that we need to respect and protect small businesses, those ‘rich’ people who provide most of the jobs in the U.S.  Even though we disagree, I love discussions with them, because I can learn something, and hopefully they can too.

I have friends who are far-left liberals.  I don’t agree with them on many issues, most especially the idea that it’s OK to steal from someone who has more than you do, that bigger government is the solution to all our problems, or that some groups of people still require special rights that others don’t receive. I do believe they get it right when they suggests that we need to protect our lands from pollution and when they want to help those in need.  Even though we disagree on some things, I love discussions with them too. 

I am an unabashed Christian.  I believe that Christ offers us the only hope of salvation in this world.  With that said, I have friends who are Jewish, friends who are Buddhist, friends who are atheist, and some friends who just don’t know.  Religious discussions are some of my favorite, because there are so many ideas to discuss.

None of these conversations are comfortable.  Some, in fact, get down-right uncomfortable.  Years ago, I read that our brain views attacks on our ideas by releasing the same hormones that a physical attack on our bodies causes.  We go into a similar fight or flight mode from ideas, just as we would if a guy in a hockey mask was chasing us with a chainsaw.  It’s no wonder things get uncomfortable, but who promised a life of comfort?  When the only point of view you can see is your own, it’s like placing a mirror between you and other people.  They are there, but you no longer can see them.

I am not a fence-sitter when it comes to ideas.  I have opinions, and they have generally been shaped through much thought.  I’m not always right on everthing, but hey, I’m not always wrong either.  I believe the Socratic idea that the unexamined life is not worth living.  Thus, some of my opinions have changed over years, often as a result of a healthy discussion.  Politically, I have been a registered democrat, a registered republican, and now a registered independent.  Spiritually, I have been an anti-Christian agnostic and now am a Christian pastor.  Live and learn.  Part of this growth has come from people challenging my ideas.

We have to have people who disagree with us in order to become whole people ourselves.

We need opposing ideas to keep healthy points of view. 

We must recognize that few things are truly black and white and truth is usually found somewhere in the grey middle ground.

Unfortunately, these things are harder and harder to get.  Social media, email, and other technology has made it possible to surround ourselves with homogenous points-of-view.  Facebook and Google both shift their search results and advertising based on things you have commented on, people you are connected to, and things you have previously searched for.  This can be a wonderful help when you are using the internet as it makes it faster and easier to find things that interest you. 

But, it is also a bad thing as it begins to sift out any ideas that disagree with you.  If you regularly post from the Huffington Post, you will no longer see any results, events, or advertising that suggests Republican ideas.  If you regularly disagree with President Obama, you will stop seeing any information about Democratic themes.  As a Christian, these sites filter out anything that might challenge my beliefs.  For some of people, that may sound like a good thing.  Unfortunately, causes increased partisanship and distills people to extemism.  We demonize other points of view to the point that we no longer see them as people, but as the enemy.  Just read the comments on any blog post related to political or religious ideas.  Most of those commentors no longer see the other side as humans, just as a problem to be resolved.

Just as a your average mutt of a dog is generally less susceptible to genetic diseases than a purebred, the distillation of ideas makes us unhealthy as a people and more susceptible to bad ideas and to violent disagreements, up to and including civil war.

We need people who think, believe, and look different from us.  We must share ideas, discuss concepts, and seek to bridge our divisions.  We must let down our walls of pride and separatism.  We must allow ourselves to ask the question, “What if I am wrong?”  Maybe, just maybe, the other person can help you grow while you, at the same time, challenge them to growth.  The simple truth is that we aren't always going to agree, and that is a good thing.  But we must find a way to listen to each other, to take the best ideas, and to give a little and get a little.

Let me just offer a caveat.  I once was arranging to meet an old friend who I hadn’t seen in two decades.  He noticed that I was a pastor and said that he wasn’t interested in having someone shove their religious ideas down his throat because he is open-minded and believes x, y, and z.  There was a certain irony to his statement, as well as an implied insult, but I replied to him saying, “Open-minded does not mean empty-minded.”  I was just hoping to catch up with an old friend; I wasn’t bringing a proselytizing agenda.  I did tell him, that he was welcome to leave religious discussion completely off the table, but if he wanted to talk about it, then I would be more than willing to meet challenge with challenge.  When you have a discussion with someone who is challenging your ideas, it is perfectly acceptable to politely challenge them back. 

Let’s do this thing.  If you have read this far, take this dare yourself.  Seek out someone you would normally disagree with.  Take them out for coffee and listen.  Don’t go in with a bad attitude, but a welcoming one.  Consider what truth they might have in their ideas.  Open your mind and think the issues through from their point-of-view.  Consider how to build bridges, and offer serious but polite challenges back at them.  In the end, you may still hold to a set of principles, but you might just find that your hard-line ideas are tempered by the recognition that the side has a valid point or two and that the other person is just that, a person.

Humanity would be much healthier if we could lose a lot of our pride.  We might just find that we change our prejudices.

P.S. – This is a good time to renew my ongoing offer.  If you want to have a discussion on an issue, if you have questions about my beliefs (or your beliefs for that matter), if you just want to share your story, then I invite you to join me for a cup of coffee and conversation.  Just click the Free Cup of Coffee link on the right side of the page and I’ll be glad to meet you somewhere in the valley of the sun (sorry if you are out of state, but you gotta meet me in the vicinity of Phoenix, AZ).  I’ll even buy the first cup.

Degree of Debt

College expenses are rising faster than students can pay for them.  There is no way to graduate college without a mountain of debt.  A quality education is out of the reach of most people.  These statements and others like them just aren’t true.  It’s this either/or type of thinking that gets us in so much trouble as a nation: “You EITHER get in massive debt OR you don’t get to get a quality college education.” 

The truth is, though the average college student graduates with $22,900 in Student Loan Debt¹, it doesn’t have to work this way.  In the past 40 to 50 years, college has become this fantasy experience in our nation.  We have allowed it to become this all-expenses-paid right-of-passage full of alcohol, dating, parties, and entertainment (with a few classes thrown in).  That may be fun, but it is expensive.  We’ve sold a false bill-of-goods to our children and now, those who are graduating deeply in debt are struggling to pay for an education in an economy when fewer jobs are available.  They are angry, and rightly so, but their anger is somewhat misplaced if it is used only to blame Corporate America for a bad economy.  Perhaps some anger is due to themselves and poor choices that they have made and unrealistic expectations that they have built their young fantasies on.  Perhaps some anger is due their parents, teachers, and guidance counselors who sold them on the myth of the college experience. 

Let’s look at this myth a piece at a time.

#1 – Let’s be honest here.  Not everyone has to go to college.  Not only that, many people should NOT go to college.  Their study skills, life goals, and sheer desire may not be there.  Maybe they are going because they feel they have to in order to find a good job, or because their parents want them to go.  For some, a start in the work force is what is needed.  Others may consider trade schools or union trade apprenticeship.  Let’s not forget stay-at-home parents.  Financial concerns should never prevent someone from getting to college, but desire may (and should).  All too often, we tell kids they must go to college if they want to be somebody.  Many of the most accomplished entrepreneurs never went to college or dropped out without a college degree.  Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak dropped out of college.  Billy Joe McCombs of Clear Channel Mediadropped out of law school.  David Geffen of Dreamworks fame dropped out.   Walt Disney dropped out of high school.  So did Vidal Sassoon.  So did Richard Branson of Virgin Records and Ray Kroc of McDonalds.  Mary Kay Ash of Mary Kay cosmetics never went to college.  Hyman Golden of Snapple fame, no college.  Frank Lloyd Wright never even went to High School.  There are hundreds of others on this list², so let’s be honest that college isn’t required for everyone. 

#2 – working your way through college is not a bad thing.  Forget the whole ‘College Experience.’   You don’t need to spend tens of thousands of dollars to party for four years.  It is completely possible and realistic to work 30-40 hours a week and still attend 8-12 hours of classes.  Late nights? Yes.  Hard work?  Yep.  Severely curtailed dating life? Absolutely.  No one said it has to be easy.  What’s more, the value of working during your degree cannot be underestimated.  Part time jobs in food service, retail, and even janitorial are great character builders and offer an education in and of themselves.  You learn how to deal with people.  You learn how to serve others.  You learn the value of a dollar earned.  You learn a trade that will always be a valuable back up when times are hard.  I earned my way through college the first time working in fast food.  I know that I will always be able to support my family in the roughest of times.  I am not afraid of cleaning toilets and I am not ashamed of flipping burgers or washing dishes.  A waiter or waitress can make great money if they are hard workers and good at entertaining people too.  What’s more, the flexible schedule of restaurant work allows you to go to school during the day and work at nights and on weekends.

#3 – in almost every situation, going to an Out-of-state college is not worth the investment.  In-state tuition is cheaper and the ability to stay with relatives* makes it much more affordable, compared to paying exorbitant out-of-state tuition and dorm fees.  Yes, I know that every kid is itching to move away from home.  Yes, I know that Florida State University is right near the beach.  Yes, I know that every guidance counselor in high school wants you to apply at every college in the U.S.   But, the truth be known, you can get an excellent education at your State University. 

* it was pointed out to me that some states have larger rural populations that make staying with relatives an untenable proposition.  The savings on in-state tuition as well as using some of these other tips (especially number 4 below) still makes much more sense than going out of state.

#4 – You don’t have to go all four years to the same school.  Save money by taking your basics at a community college or online.  At the current schedule of fees and costs, I can take English 101 at a Maricopa county community college for $76 a credit hour.  Contrast that with taking the same class at ASU for $658 a credit hour².  That is TEN TIMES the cost for the same class that will transfer!!!  I recommend community college for most kids as a starter for several reasons.  Financially, it is significantly more affordable.  It gives the young adult a chance to experience a wide range of classes before locking into a degree program.  And, it gives them a chance to see if college is even right for them.  The only ones that I recommend go right into a full university are those kids who have earned a full ride scholarship.  If they’ve already worked that hard, they are ready for college, and they don’t have to worry that their classes are more expensive.  I do recommend that any students starting at community college talk with an adviser from their prospective degree university to make sure that classes they choose at the community college will transfer.  The great thing about a community college is it gives you a chance to experiment.  Take 2-3 classes of basic requirements and 1 class that looks interesting as an elective.  Most students change their degree program at least once.  Attending community college first allows you to try different things before locking in, and allows you to do it at a much more affordable rate.

#5 – Scholarships are available for more than just perfect grades or football.  There are thousands of scholarships and grants available for students.  You just have to find them.  The college financial aid counselor will point you towards some of them, but others require research.  The first time I went to college in my late teens, this meant hours in the library looking through Scholarship and Grant books and then writing essay after essay.  This time, it’s all on the internet and you can often apply online.  Often, you must still include an essay, but you can copy and paste right from your MS Word document to the online form.  Much easier. 

#6 – Extra-curricular activities are just that: extra.  Unless you have a scholarship that demands your participation in a specific sport or other program, then these things are tertiary to your primary goal of getting a good education and secondary goal of paying for the degree without drowning in debt.  If you have time then you can join a sport, a club, or a fraternity or sorority.  These things may be fun, but they just aren’t what you are there for.  Not only do these things distract you from your education and waste time that is better spent elsewhere, they cost more money.  Brutal realism is required for good financial health.

#7 – Get a degree that matters.  Very few students that I have dealt with over the years in Youth Ministry have had any clue what they really want to do for a living.  Often they have these fantasy jobs and sound certain of their goals with all the assurance of youth.  Anyone who has dealt with High School and College age kids knows the truth.  What they think they want to do coming out of High School is rarely what they end up doing for a career.  General degrees in business and education prepare you for almost any career.  Get an Associates and/or Bachelors in these fields and then specialize with a Masters degree.  If you spend four years on an Art History degree, don’t be surprised if there are few jobs open when you get out of college. 

#8 – You have to earn your stripes.  The most important lesson that we, adults, can teach kids is that you must expect to work your way up from the bottom.  You have to pay your dues. When you get out of college, you just might not be able to find a job right away.  Yes, I know, the college recruiter said that you would be making $100,000 a year within six weeks of graduation and that the college will help you find that job.  Guess what… The college recruiter’s job is to get you to come to their college (and bring money with you).  They are not always so honest about what happens after college.  What’s more, they cannot control the economy.  You will probably have to start at the bottom of your degree field and earn you way up.  You may have to do jobs you don’t like to earn your way to the job you want.  You may even have to struggle in a different field for awhile till you can even get into the company you want.  Prepare for that.  Acknowledge it now and save yourself the stress.  This is another good reason NOT to get into huge college debt.  Being debt-free or mostly so upon graduation gives you time to find your niche.  This is a good reason to work your way through college.  If you can get in on the bottom floor in a field similar to or the same as you will be working in, you may find that internship or first time job that puts you ahead of the rest of the field when you get out of school.

#9 – You don’t need credit cards to get through college.  The sad truth is that most college students  graduate with student loan debt AND credit card debt.  The average college senior graduates with an additional $4,100 in credit card debt⁴.  That is in addition to the $20,000 plus in student loans.  Credit card companies love to come to student events and give away free Frisbees and pizza for everyone who applies for a credit card.  Students, whose parents have often spent a lifetime in debt, now sell themselves into debt slavery for a slice of pizza and a toy that they won’t even have by the time they pay the bills.

#10 – College doesn’t have to take four years.  In fact, a six year degree while you work is much more realistic and will provide you with an opportunity to gain experiences that you might not have otherwise gotten.  By working your way through a realistic class schedule, you will be able to have the flexibility to take internships, study abroad for a year, serve for a summer in a charity, or any number of other life experiences that will help you be a better, well rounded person and also impress future employers. 

The college experience myth is busted.  You can have that fantasy of fraternity parties, football games, and dating the cheerleader while going to classes, but it is going to cost you.  If you choose this fairy tale, don’t be surprised when you graduate with debt up to your ears and little prospect for financial freedom in the near future.  But, if you accept reality for what it is and are willing to put a little blood, sweat, and tears (no, not the 70s band) into your education, you can come out with something of real value at a fraction of the cost, and with the ability to earn your way to the top.  For the rest of us, the teachers, youth ministers, coaches, parents, and every other person who influences young adults: it is our duty to help these kids be realistic.  Let’s not feed them any more lies about college and debt, but give them a kick start in life by teaching them the value of hard work and an earned education.  Let us pass on the idea that the world doesn’t owe them a living and they shouldn’t expect someone else to pick up the tab for their choices. 

I am not totally hard-line against any debt.  If you have to use a little to get through your last year unpaid internship, then do what you have to do.  It is much harder to get a master’s degree debt free, but do as much as you can.  It’s just the thought of teaching our kids that debt is unavoidable, so let’s just use loans for all four years and hope that we can get a job right away to pay it all.

Finally, let us help our kids in the ways we can.  If you can financially help a kid get through college, do it.  If you can pay for a book, buy them dinner, or give them your old computer or bicycle, do it.  If you can encourage them, help them research scholarships, give them a quiet place to study, do it.  If you can help them get a part-time job where you work, or write a recommendation for their internship, do it.  If you can help with their laundry, give them a ride, or assist them with homework, do it.  Whatever happens, let’s help where we can and let’s not harm them by perpetuating myths.

As long as we believe that it isn’t possible and keep telling ourselves and our kids that, then we will continue to stick them with large amounts of debt.  But, when we quit making excuses and quit perpetuating myths, then we can change our kid’s future.

1.       http://news.consumerreports.org/money/2011/05/2011-college-grads-have-highest-average-debt-to-date.html

2.       http://www.youngentrepreneur.com/blog/100-top-entrepreneurs-who-succeeded-without-a-college-degree/

3.       http://collegesearch.collegeboard.com/search/CollegeDetail.jsp?collegeId=2353&profileId=2

4.       http://www.credit.com/press/statistics/student-credit-and-debt-statistics.html

P.S. -  It’s funny, but I’ve been accused of being unrealistic and fantasizing for thinking that things can work this way.  In most cases, it is from people who don’t want to think they have made wrong choices, so they say things like, “debt is unavoidable,” or, “it’s just not possible to live debt-free.”  Yet, I know others who have taken personal responsibility and recognized that past choices do not dictate the future.  These people are paying off debt steadily and living less stressful lives.  This includes myself and my family.  I got into deep debt during my first college experience and young adult years.  After years of hard lessons and even harder work, we are almost debt free.  That is reality, not fantasy.  Invariably, the people making the excuses and saying that debt free living is a fantasy are the ones continually making the same choices that continually get them further into debt and continually cause them suffering or don’t want to be honest about their own responsibility for past choices.   Those who are brutally honest with themselves get out of trouble, those that blame others continue living in trouble.  That is my experience.  YMMV

#Occupy Yourselves

A Comparison

I've been watching the whole fuss about the Occupy Wall Street and I remember all the fuss about the Tea Party.  It's been very amusing to watch the Facebook postings on each.  I have friends on both sides of the political aisle and I have now seen several postings comparing the two movements posted by each side.  It's fun to watch each side pick the worst fringe of the other side to compare to the best of their own.  I can't be sure if they truly believe it or if they are purposely being intellectually dishonest. 

Here is my comparison of the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street.

Tea Party	Occupy Wall Street
Grass Roots movement co-opted by Republicans	Grass Roots movement co-opted by Democrats
Represents the little guy who feels stepped on by the government	Represents the little guy who feels stepped on by corporations
Has people dressed in goofy costumes from 1700s	Has people dressed in goofy masks from 1600s
Has people playing fifes and drums	Has drum circles
Blames big government for everything	Blames big corporations for everything
Thousands of people marching in big cities holding signs calling for change	Thousands of people marching in big cities holding signs calling for change
Actually has some good points about the situation we are in with too much corporate money controlling our government	Actually has some good points about the situation we are in with too much corporate money controlling our government
Hates the government bailouts of big corporations	Hates the government bailouts of big corporations
Blames President Obama for the bailouts	Remembers that the Bailouts started under President Bush and blame him.
Offers a several overly simplistic solutions to a single complex problem	Offers no solutions to a wide range of complex problems.
Caricatures the OWS by comparing the worst fringe element of the other side with the most logical and centrist parts of their own movement.	Caricatures the Tea Party by comparing the worst fringe element of the other side with the most logical and centrist parts of their own movement.
Forgets that they only represent about a third of our country and that the other 2/3 has perspective and ideas too.	Forgets that they only represent about a third of our country (despite the 99% claim) and that the other 2/3 has perspective and ideas too.
Thinks it’s a crime to believe in socialism	Thinks it’s a crime to believe in capitalism
Old Republicans and young hipster conservatives	Young Democrats and old hippies
Primarily composed of real people with a heart to make a difference.	Primarily composed of real people with a heart to make a difference.
Complained that the media, which is (of course) all owned by the left-wing, wouldn’t cover them.	Complained that the media, which is (of course) all owned by rich corporations, wouldn’t cover them
Fox News and Drudge Report cover everything positive about this movement.  Huffington Post and MSNBC cover everything negative about this movement.	Huffington Post and MSNBC cover everything positive about this movement.  Fox News and Drudge Report cover everything negative about this movement.
Conservative media writes articles saying that you shouldn’t compare these movements because the Tea Party is right, peaceful, and the voice of the people and the OWS movement is wrong, potentially violent, and doesn’t represent most of America.	Liberal media writes articles saying that you shouldn’t compare these movements because the OWS is right, peaceful, and the voice of the people and the Tea Party movement is wrong, potentially violent, and doesn’t represent most of America.
Small fringe groups in this movement calling for overthrow of government	Small fringe groups in this movement calling for overthrow of government
People seen carrying assault weapons at rally	People seen carrying assault weapons at rally
Flyers found threatening death of government officials	Flyers found threatening death of police
Someone spit on congressperson	Someone pooped on police car
Some prejudiced hangers-on hate black people and immigrants and seen carrying signs that suggest the country would be better off without them.	Some prejudiced hangers-on hate Jews and Evangelical Christians and seen carrying signs that suggest the country would be better off without them.
Supported by two rich old white guys – the Koch Brothers	Supported by one even richer old white guy – George Soros
Held their rallies and stood around complaining, but then got people out to vote to bring some change to government	Holding their rallies and standing around complaining, let’s see if they can actually get people out to vote to bring some change to government.

What a mess we are in as a nation because of discourteous partisanship.  It's perfectly OK to have differing points of view, but the lack of any respectful disagreement and the lack of recognition that the other side might have some good points leaves us at war with one another and keeps us voting charlatans and crooks into office because, at least they vote for my side.

Let's not forget that we are all in this together. 

Cannonballs

My wife and daughter just got back from a trip to Arkansas, of all places to visit family.  They brought back a silly family game with them.  At random times during conversation, one of them will suddenly say, "Apology Accepted."  No purpose, no reason, just a goofy game.  In real life, apologies should matter.  That's what I was taught growing up, but somehow that has changed.  Demanding an apology is now just a tool of the overly sensitive and politically correct.

Hank Williams Jr. likens President Obama’s golf game with Speaker John Boener with Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu.  He is promptly castigated in the news media and issues a formal apology.

Johnny Depp likens the paparrazi taking so many photos of famous people without their permission to being raped.  He is promptly castigated by the news media and issues a formal apology.

Do a Google search for the phrase “…apologized for saying” and review the results going back a year or two and you’ll see dozens of people who made unfortunate (or sometimes completely accurate) characterizations of situations that they immediately had to apologize for.  It always follows the same pattern.  Someone says something comparing one thing to another.  The news media jumps on it and tears them apart.  Pundits speak out.  Activists call for their resignation.  The person quickly explains, “I didn’t mean it that way.”  The news cycle grows.  Finally, the person gives a formal apology, usually read  by their attorney.  This apology is never a real apology but is legalize that says something along the lines of, “I’m sorry if someone may have been accidentally offended by my words,” without actually saying anything that might lead to legal action or further misinterpretation.

Do we not know what a metaphor is anymore?  Have we become so afraid of offending someone that we cannot use symbolism or allegory?  Are we really that uptight that we cannot understand the core truth that can be found in a little hyperbole and that the exaggeration often points to the seriousness of the core truth?

Do we really need to explain that the President and Speaker have serious political differences that are radically far apart?  Can we not understand that having someone take your picture at all hours in all situations whether you want it or not is akin to having something stolen from you?

Our language has historically been very rich with the use of figures of speech to make a point.  Read some of the greatest historic speeches and you’ll find them littered with figurative language.  What a beautiful thing.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Speak what you think today in words as hard as cannon balls, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you say today.”

Let us be bold in our speech and not give apologies every time some delicate person feels their ears are wounded by a well placed simile.  Let them take this chance to grow a little and invite them to make polite, but ideally placed turns of phrase that give a strong clear picture of the point that they wish to make.

I'm not suggesting that we all be jerks just to be jerks, but certainly, we can say things without having to worry about our every sentence having to be run through a cleanser before being spoken.  How flat and grey would our world be if everyone spoke in carefully crafted legalese so as to not offend anyone.

With that, I must apologize for using Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quote that suggests that cannon balls are the equivalent to hard words.  I am truly sorry if any cannon balls felt hurt by my poorly chosen words.

Apology Accepted.

John

“What is this generation going to do?” asked John, as he stood in the doorway of my office, “How are they ever going to survive this economy?”  John is an older man who lives around the corner from the church.  He stops in my office about once a month for a short conversation.  That’s a joke, because, if you knew John, you’d know that there’s no such thing as a short conversation when he comes around.  He’s been retired for a lot of years and forgets that not everyone has as much free time as he does.  Sometimes I groan inwardly when I see him come in, because I know I have to stop what I’m doing for a half hour, but in the end, I generally enjoy our conversations.  He has seen a lot of things in 80 plus years of life and, I have learned that if you ask the right questions, he always has an interesting story.

I can’t call John an old man, because, though he is more than twice my age, he is still very spry.  He lives his life much more fully than many people that I’ve met who are a quarter of his age.  He rides around on his bicycle and tinkers around in his tool shed.  He works in his garden, and fixes stuff around the neighborhood.  And, he comes in and talks to the young pastor in his neighborhood on a regular basis.

Usually, when John comes in, it’s to talk about something specific.  He has something on his mind, be it a neighbor who isn’t taking care of their property, or to talk about some issue of the day. 

Today, he was wondering about the economy and the Occupy Wall Street protests in the streets.  He told me that this ‘recession’ seemed to be turning into a depression, and he was worried about his country.  “This generation thinks they should be given everything; they don’t want to work for it, they don’t want to earn their own way,” he told me, “How are they going to survive this.” 

I know John was a child during the Great Depression, as he has shared some of his stories about World War II.  So, I asked him, “How did your generation make it?”

He looked me in the eye and said, “Well, we buckled down and did what we had to do.  We worked hard.  We saved things and made due.  We worked together to help each other.  We didn’t run out to buy something new when it broke, we just fixed it.  But, it’s different today, we didn’t have computers and all this new stuff that everyone thinks they need.” 

“It’s no different today, John,” I replied, “The answer today is the same as it was back then.  People in the 1920s had luxuries, they were frivolous.  But, when the 1930s and 40s came, they learned.  They cut back and made better choices.  They worked harder.  They scrimped and saved.  They treated their possessions with more value.  Families and communities helped each other.  They grew gardens and canned food.  They quit being so wasteful.  It wasn't pretty, it wasn't easy, but you did what you had to do.  That’s what you grew up with, right?” 

“Yes, sir, that’s how we did it.”

“Then,” I went on, “That’s how this generation is going to do it.  We just have some hard lessons to learn first.  And, some of us are going to learn the hard lessons and some of us won’t.  The ones that don’t are going to struggle and blame others for their problems.  Those that learn those hard lessons will make it through together, and be better for it.” 

I don’t think he really needed me to tell him that, I think he was just looking for reassurance that someone else knew the answer too.

John smiled at me and headed back out the door to his truck.  He stopped and looked back at me.  His parting shot was, “I don’t think you’ll have to work too hard to learn those lessons.”

I hope not, John, I truly hope not.

#Occupy Yourselves

Cooking Up an Answer

"There is so much ingenuity and innovation right here in this kitchen that is so lacking in so many other areas of the country," said Sam Tresler, a 32-year-old consultant from Brooklyn as he dropped off a pot of mashed potatoes he had cooked that morning. "It's inspiring."*

This was a quote from one of the people donating food for the Occupy Wall Street group as he dropped off food for the protestors.  They have set up a make-shift kitchen to feed those people who are there and lack food.  Volunteers have worked together to solve the logistics of getting food through the clogged streets, portioning out food and serving hundreds of people several times a day. 

The article tells of an 80 year old Jamaican woman who drops a $100 in a donation bucket.  She doesn’t give her name because she says she doesn’t want people to think she’s rich, but she wants to try do donate again next week.

Funny. Ironic. 

It didn’t take the government to make this work.

They didn’t need to pay a large food service corporation to make things happen.

They cleaned up the park too.  But they didn’t need the city to do it.  They didn’t need a large janitorial service to do it.

These people are working together to provide for each other.

It’s almost like this is the way it’s supposed to work.

I just wish they could see the lesson in this.  You don’t have to be out blocking traffic and holding up picket signs to make a difference for one another in a rough economy.

You just have to be willing to get your hands dirty, willing to stretch your money, willing to give to help others. 

A single pot of mashed potatoes may feed a dozen people.  One hundred dollars can buy enough food for several dozen.  It doesn’t take an act of Congress.  It doesn’t take a shareholder meeting.  It takes an open heart and a willing soul.

If only they could get off the streets and put these lessons to work.  Grow a community garden.  Start a babysitting co-op.  Potluck with your neighbors.  Invite an out of work friend to live with you.  Take food to your elderly neighbor.  Barter goods and services.  Offer that $100 to the guy up the street who is out of work if he’ll fix your cabinets. 

Mr. Tressler, who so generously brought the mashed potatoes talked about ingenuity.  That’s precisely the answer.  A little ingenuity and cooperation to solve financial problems, a little personal responsibility to help others and to get each of our own financial houses together, and we won’t need to occupy Wall Street.  We’ll occupy ourselves. Ingenuity has always been the American Way. 

Do these things and you take the power away from politicians and corporations.  Riot in the streets and you give them back the power to ‘solve’ your problems.  Don’t be pawns of politicians, unions, or wall street.  Don’t let anarchy rule.  Vote with your ballot to change the politicians.  Vote with your dollars to change corporations. 

#Occupy Yourselves

 *  Quotes and information from article found in the Arizona Republic: http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2011/10/17/20111017protest-food1017.html  viewed at 12:36pm 10/17/2011.  Article originally posted by Helen O'Neill - Oct. 17, 2011 12:00 AM Associated Press