This blog originally posted Monday, August 14, 2006
I hate driving in Phoenix. I hate it a lot. If there is anything in this world that makes me want to do terrible things to other people, it is driving here. People get in their cars and immediately become the most selfish beasts in the world. They are dangerous to others and they just don't care. I personally would like to take the guy that is going 100 mph on the 101, tailgating, weaving in and out, cutting people off, etc and pin him to the hood of his car with a tire iron. You know the one I mean, the one shaped like a # 7 with a sharp flat part on one end and a wrench on the other. Oh, I don't want to kill him, just put it through his shoulder or perhaps his right ankle. Is that wrong? OK, I know it is wrong, but I can't think of anything that would get the message accoss more than that. Here is a simple test: If you are passing more than 1/3 of the cars on any given stretch of pavement, then you are going too fast and endangering others. Now, before you comment on my age, just know this, I am not talking about driving like a grandma, just drive reasonably with the flow and don't cut people off or tailgate. Is that too much to ask? My secret dream is to be a traffic cop for a day and chase down all the really bad drivers. Maybe even get to use the tazer on them. Sigh. That would be soooooo cool. Maybe this is too extreme, but maybe I'll just stop by Auto Zone on the way home and pick up four or five extra tire irons. You know, just in case of emergency.