When will they ever learn

This blog originally posted Friday, October 06, 2006

Current mood: contemplative Category: Life

The Kingston Trio, a 1960s era folk band had a song called 'Where have all the flowers gone'. Pretty song. Somewhat depressing and fatalistic. The refrain is 'when will they ever learn'.

One of the hardest parts about working in ministry is watching people self destruct. You get a ringside seat to watch people you care about make bad decisions, decisions that destroy their lives and/or damage the lives of others. Time and time again. Even more painful is that they often make bad choices, knowing what the right thing is.

Then, after the damage is done, as they look around the destruction and begin picking up the pieces, they come to some realization that what they did was a mistake. Often, people around them warned them, red flags where everywhere; but selfish pride kept them on the path they were on.

Usually these are financial or relationship issues. Should I buy that big ticket item? Should I marry that person? People always seem to make the choice that is easiest or the most fun in the short term. They pay for it later.

Sometimes, people (Christians especially) seem to think that life just happens. Christians blame the devil for all sorts of ills. Non-Christians just say it was bad luck or fate. The truth is, a great deal of what goes wrong in our lives are our own choices. Often these choices are made despite wise council to the contrary. Sometimes, random bad luck happens, sometimes the devil gets you in his sights, but, most of the ill that occurs in our lives comes from mistakes that were chosen.

It's like the insurance industry tells us. "There is no such thing as a car accident." All car accidents are really the result of a bad choice (either intentional or unintentional) of someone. They really should be called purposes, not accidents.

The same is true of our lives. An awful lot of purposes happen to us that are our fault or the fault of someone around us making a dumb choice. It gives new meaning to the book title 'The Purpose Driven Life.'

Maybe it's time to admit that we don't have all the answers ourselves. Maybe it's time to invest in a community of friends and family that support each other and give counsel. Maybe it's time to quit being so self-centered and prideful and realize that other people can be there for you. Maybe it's time to actually seek advice from other people who care about you when you are about to make a major decision. (for the record, seek someone who won't just tell you what you want to hear). Maybe its time to purposefully prevent the accidents of life that cause so much pain.

As I write this, I recognize that it probably won't matter. As you read this, you'll probably think 'Oh, that's a good point.' But, then you'll just go out and make a bad choice without giving it any thought. I probably will too.

When will we ever learn.