THEY

I was at Starbucks about a month ago and saw a guy come in and ask for a free cup of coffee.  He looked like he might be homeless, but not so far gone that he really was living on the streets for any length of time, more a panhandler than someone really in need.  The Barista said, “I’ve told you before, you can’t come in here and get free coffee and you aren’t allowed to ask customers for money.  You can have water, but that’s all.”  He gave the guy a cup of water and the panhandler said, “What, no ice?,” as he walked out the door.  A female customer at the cash register started castigating the barista. 

“Why couldn’t you just give him a cup of coffee?, she asked, “Why did you have to be such a jerk about it?”  She continued to harangue him about how Starbucks can afford to give away coffee because they make so much money.  Why should the barrista care if they lost a few cents giving away one cup of coffee?

I wondered at the irony of her situation.  Here she was castigating Starbucks for being rich and not being as generous as she thought they should be, but she, who was standing there waiting to pay $5 to Starbucks, never once offered to buy the homeless guy a cup of coffee. 

It’s so much easier to blame They than to blame ‘I’.

They are mysterious. 

They are aloof. 

They are different from us. 

They are faceless. 

They cause all the problems.

They are to blame.

They don’t care. 

Government.  Politicians.  Corporate fat cats.  Banks.  Investment Companies.  They.

As if some alien species came to earth in the last few decades (during the Bush years if you are a Democrat or during Obama’s administration if you are  a Republican), suddenly, there is this ober-class of people who are to blame for all that’s wrong in this country.

Any serious student of history can tell you that it’s always been this way.  J.P. Morgan.  Leland Stanford.  John Jacob Astor.  Dale Carnegie.  Cornelius Vanderbilt.  Charles Schwab. Fisk. Duke. Plant. Ford. Seligman. Frick.  The Rockefellers.  The Kennedys.  The Du Ponts. The Lehmans. Many of these names we recognize as street names and product names.  Many are responsible for some of the greatest acts of philanthropy in our nation’s history.  Many are also responsible for terrible depredations on their workers, the environment, and on consumers.

It’s no different today. 

There are rich people like Steve Jobs, so lately lamented, but known specifically for his lack of generosity and his cutthroat business decisions and tyrant management style.. Or perhaps Bill Gates, also known for cutthroat business, but also known for enormous acts of charity and generous donations. 

It sure is easy to blame those rich people for our problems.  It’s even easier to blame the anonymous banks and big corporations.  If there is no person’s name attached, they become an even easier target for our ire. 

 “How dare they have billions of dollars when I struggle to pay my mortgage, my car loans, my student loans, and my credit cards?!?!?,” we demand with righteous indignation! 

“What’s up with these politicians, why do they keep screwing us so badly with laws that don’t help the little guy?!?!?!,” we yell out with all the moral anger we can muster.

Good questions.

No.  Not really a good questions.  Actually, quite bad ones.

Perhaps we should rephrase them:  “How dare I complain about faceless bankers when I keep using their money so poorly?” and, “Why do I keep voting for the same people just so my party stays in control, with little or no consideration to the best choices for the country?”

The problem with our nation comes down to 308, 600,000 individuals (give or take a million) who need to start taking personal responsibility and quit blaming the unnamed They for our problems.

We need to swear off debt.  Quit borrowing from Bank of America and suddenly that BOA constrictor loses its power.  Don’t like that they are charging a fee for debit transactions… Vote with your feet.  Don’t spend another dime with them.  Period.

Upset that hedge funds, junk bonds, and mortgage securities were at the heart of our current economic recession?  Maybe it’s time to reconsider the idea that everyone should own their own home, including people who cannot afford one or people incapable of paying their bills on time.  Perhaps it is time to take personal responsibility for wisely purchasing just enough home for what we need and not overburdening ourselves with large houses just because, at the top of the market, we could convince a bank to give us that much.  Perhaps it’s time for families to live together again, supporting mom and pop or giving the kids a chance to save up for a better start.  Perhaps it’s time for us to educate ourselves on mortgages before we take whatever product the realtor, banker, and broker convince us to take.  Perhaps it’s time to go back to the idea of saving up a huge down payment, learning discipline in the process, and then paying off that mortgage as fast as we can.

Don’t like that partisanship in politics?  Quit voting your party line and take the time to educate yourself on the individuals on both sides.  Consider that there are people on both sides of the issue and perhaps we need to give a little credence to the other side and the middle too.  Perhaps, instead of complaining about gridlock, we should stop listening to soundbites and recognize that a nation of 308 million people are actually going to have different points of view from you and perhaps that’s a healthy thing.

At the heart of this is individual responsibility.  Let’s not enable those who are occupying Wall Street now and blocking real working people from their jobs.  Let’s encourage them to occupy themselves with working.  .  If you have large amounts of student loans to get a degree in art history, perhaps it’s time to learn a hard lesson about the real world.  Get a job.  If there aren’t jobs there, create something new.  Start a new business or create a new product.  Maybe, consider moving to a place where there are jobs.  This is the American way and it is this innovation, stick-to-it-iveness, and willingness to work that have made us such a leader among nations.  Most of those rich people that we covered above didn’t start out that way. 

Finally, let’s not lose sight of the fact that we are the richest people in the world.  As the richest 4% or so of the entire world, let’s try to keep a clear focus on the fact that there are billions of people who would be willing to tell us, in a multitude of languages, where we can stick our pre-printed 99% signs.  In one loud and raucous voice, they would shout together in Hindi, Farsi, Spanish, Swahili, Arabic, Mandarin, Urdu, and a hundred other languages that they would be more than willing to take our jobs and work without complaining, that they would gladly accept our educations and put them to work, that they would give anything to have won the cosmic lottery that is a U.S. citizenship.

For those who are occupying Wall Street and other locations – I respect your voice that times are hard.  I don’t respect mob control and I certainly do not respect the politicians who are trying to make political hay out of this.  Clean up your mess.  Put down the signs.  Ditch the ridiculous hyperbolic rhetoric of, “hitler’s bankers,” “crimes against humanity,” “enslaved.”  Grow up and join the real world.

Yes, times are hard.  Yes, the Economy is rough.  Yes, corruption has happened.

But, stop blaming “They” and start saying, “I will take responsibility for myself.”

* For the record, I spent more than a decade working for banks and mortgage brokers, including at least half that time at Bank of America.  As a corporate culture, they are not a good company to work for.  They have led the charge on almost every fee that could be charged to their customers.  They regularly reorganized, right-sized, downsized, rif’ed, and every other pseudonym for messing with their employees lives in the interest of increasing stock-holder profits.  I always wondered at what point someone would realize that you can cut a pie a hundred ways and still have the same amount of pie, just much messier.  I don’t bank with them and I don’t recommend anyone bank with them.  If A.P. Giannini truly was the man that they said he was, who built his bank by working with the common working man, then I am absolutely sure he is spinning like a dervish in his grave at the company that Bank of America has become.  Let me take advantage of this blog to recommend that you never work for, borrow from, deposit money with, invest money in, or even walk too slowly past Bank of America or any of the other large banks.  Use small local banks and credit unions for deposits, and live debt free.  If enough of us do that, then real change can occur in that industry.

It's Your Choice

Her finger waivered, floating back and forth over the dozen items on the touch screen.  She stood there for an eternity before realizing that she was holding up other people.  She gave an exasperated shrug and then settled on Coke.  Just plain old Coca-Cola.  Then she walked off shaking her head.

I sat watching as person after person encountered the new soda machine at a fast food restaurant.  This machine offers dozens of soda choices to begin with, along with tea, sports drinks, and flavored waters.  On top of all of that, there are a bunch of flavorings that you can add to each drink.  Each item you choose leads to a submenu of more choices.  Because of where I sat, I could see the people and their faces at they dealt with the multitude of options.  Throughout my lunch it was interesting to note that almost everyone who used the machine would just stand their completely befuddled for a few seconds up to a minute or two, ranging through the choices.

At first it was just amusing, but then, I began to take interest and spent my lunch watching this phenomenon.   I even adjusted my seat so I could observe their choices.  Time and time again, after a lengthy time of confusion, the participants in my unofficial experiment chose just plain Coke, just plain Pepsi, or just plain tea.  The line sometimes got quite long as each person had to face the cacophony of choices.

I would observe that the more choices we are given, the less choice we end up having.  For example: if Fastburger puts in a Coca-cola machine and all options are Coke products, then your average Pepsi drinker will have a Coke when they go there.  But, if Tacos-R-Us across the street offers both options, then your Pepsi drinker will generally choose Pepsi products.  If the Pepsi is runs out, then he might just try Coke, Mountain Dew, or even have some water.  Now, Chicken Delight opens up with their multi-choice machine and in most cases, Pepsi man is just going to revert to Pepsi.  He is unlikely to try something new and is likely to bypass all the extra choices for that which is comfortable.

I watched this happen recently in my own family.  We were looking to paint a few accent walls in the new place, so the wife and kids and I all piled in the car and went to the local Home Depot paint section and grabbed all of the decorating samples and pamphlets in the paint section.  I told my wife to pick the accent colors and I’d paint.  A week went by, then two.  I saw her looking through the stack of samples time and again.  I finally asked her what colors she wanted and she told me she just couldn’t decide.  So, I took the samples and narrowed the choice down to three sets that I liked and gave them to her.  She then quickly made her mind up in a matter of minutes.  Too many choices were overwhelming, but narrowed down to a few, she could quickly judge between them.

“Who cares about soda choices or the paint on the wall?” you may ask.  It certainly doesn’t matter in the bigger scheme of things, but human behavior can be observed in these little microcosms of life.

Consider the amount of advertising, media, and marketing we face on a daily basis.  There is no way we can take it all in, so we begin to tune much of it out.  We have thousands of choices that we face each day.  Offer a person a few choices and they will tend towards their comfort zone but may occasionally step out and try something new.  However, offer this same person hundreds of choices and they will always revert to the simplest and most comfortable option.

There is almost a paralysis in overwhelming choice that leads to an irony. 

More choices = less options = less trying of new things

Fewer choices = greater options = more experimentation

This whole idea plays out in the political arena too and is, in fact, becoming a dangerous threat to our political system.  In order to gain control of the issue of choices, systems like Facebook and Google cater to our existing comfort.  The results that show on a given Google search or the advertisements that Facebook shows you are based on previous choices, comments, notes, and searches that you have done.  This begins to limit your access to important information from other points of view.  This is rapidly distilling our points-of-view and making us more and more partisan.  The threat of propaganda and lies become that much more real because we no longer receive the broader range of information, and often, our minds become more and more closed to what little we see from the other side.

I watch this happen, almost on a daily basis, on Facebook.  I have friends who are Republican and friends who are Democrat.  Their posts are always very partisan and they see major events through a polarized lens.  When something happens in the world, I can usually predict what each of them will post.  This used to be an amusing game: ‘Guess what So-and-So will post about the president’s speech?’  It is no longer funny, because it occurs to me that we are polarizing ourselves into two nations within a nation.

I’m not sure what the answer is here, but it will be interesting to watch this play out over a generation.  My children will be exposed to more information and choices than I ever have known in my lifetime.  They will be bombarded with data.  They are already aggressively marketed to, by an industry that no longer waits until they are teens to target them. 

Will they develop ways to use this information and grow from it, or will they become overwhelmed by the deluge and retreat to the comfort of a single point of view that pits one group of people against another? 

We are richer when we reach out to others who believe differently from us.  We are stronger when we test new ideas and logically accept or reject them based on fact and not emotion.  We are better people when we associate with those who look different.  We grow by rubbing off on each other and being challenged on what we think we know. 

Will our choices control us or will we control our choices?

Dear Mr. Advice Columnist

Dear Mr. Advice Columnist,

I have a family member in trouble and hope you can help.   It’s affecting our whole family.  My uncle is out of control and I am not sure how to deal with it.    He may be senile or possibly suffering from dementia.  He used to be a likeable guy, very popular, and really had his life together.   Don’t get me wrong, he made mistakes, but he was a better guy than most people.  He was extremely frugal and built up quite a large amount of wealth.  That’s where the problem begins.  He started giving money away, to the point that he cannot pay his own bills.  He gives it to family members, strangers on the street, and even people in other places he doesn’t even know.  He buys them all sorts of things they don’t really need or that they could buy for themselves.  He has been supporting many of them, buying groceries and even paying their bills for them.  I don’t mind him helping the ones who are really in trouble, but most of them could pay these things themselves with a little financial responsibility and realistic budgeting.  But, with him paying for so much, they aren’t learning how to take care of themselves; they just keep taking from him.

I wouldn’t mind so much, but we all live together on the same piece of land that we inherited from my great-grandparents.  And, since we all share title, his financial choices are affecting us all.  What’s more, we have a joint checking account and every time I get a little money, he takes half of it and gives it away to other people.  He has actually run out of money himself and has been borrowing great amounts of credit to keep giving money away.  I’ve tried talking to my family about all of this, but since so many of them receive money from him, they don’t seem to care that we are living on borrowed time.  My cousins all think it’s no big deal.  They say that by the time the money runs out from all the credit cards and bank loans that they’ll all be dead anyway.  They don’t seem to care that their children will be horribly affected by my uncle’s mistakes and they really don’t care that it is affecting those of us that are trying to pay our own way.

What can I do?

Anxious in Arizona

 - - - - - - - - - -

 Dear Anxious In Arizona,

It’s your Uncle Sam, isn’t it.  I know that guy.  Well, the bad news is, the problem will never be fixed till your family works together to get each of themselves on a budget.  Then they can begin insisting that he cut his spending and get him on a realistic budget.  But, as long as so many of them receive money from his largess and won’t choose to be financially healthy themselves, you’ll never change anything.  I wish I could give you more hope, but as long as people act for their own selfish interests and take no personal responsibility, you are stuck. 

Mr. Advice Columnist

The Target

Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages, come one, come all!  Take your seats and prepare to see the most amazing and frightening performance of your lives.  As I blindfold myself and ready my throwing knives, my lovely assistant shall step up to the wheel and I will demonstrate the object lesson of today’s blog.  I recommend that those with delicate constitutions step out of the room as we perform this death defying trick. 

I used to love circus acts like that: the pretty lady spinning on the wheel while the blindfolded man throws razor sharp blades at her.  There was a sense of suspense, a tempting titillation, and a delicious desire for danger.  There was even a secret macabre hope that you just might see some blood.

Over the years, this act has lost its delight as I see it played out in the real world of ministry.  There are many things that are absolutely wonderful about leading a ministry, but there is one significant drawback that I’d like to share.  Being a ministry leader makes you the person spinning on the target.

There just never seems to be a lack of people who are willing to tell you what they think you are doing wrong or telling you how they want you to be doing things.  There is always someone willing to tell you how they believe you could have done better.  Perhaps you should have said __________ in your sermon.  Or, I don’t think that we should do __________ as a church.  Or, your church should be doing __________ type of ministry.  I don’t think we should play __________ type of music.

Often, these are couched as ‘suggestions’ by well-meaning people, but then they are hurt when you don’t take their suggestion, or if you offer a different point-of-view.  What’s even more common, the person giving the advice usually isn't even actively involved in the ongoing ministry of the church.  They just sit there and snipe at the pastor, music leader, elders, or other ministry leaders.  I have even had new people, after their first or second visit, tell me what they thought was wrong with me or our church, or even other churches.  I can even go further in saying that the people most likely to make these types of suggestions are the ones who are least likely to show evidence of an active and growing discipleship.

I write this piece, not to whine about how things are, or to grumble and complain; I write this to offer a better way.  (no, I don’t miss the irony here, I am suggesting another way of doing things, but the difference is, I am committed to being involved and living this out myself.)

1.       Encourage those in ministry.  Pray for them.  The jobs are difficult, the pay is low, and they are working very hard.  They love what they do, but it can be mental and spiritually draining to be criticized all the time.

2.       Instead of suggesting that ‘the church should do __________,’ as if ‘the Church’ somehow is an entity outside ofyou.  Why don’t you volunteer to make something happen.  Offer to do the fundraising, solicit and train volunteers, and make the ministry happen. 

3.       If you felt something was left out of the sermon or that it could be said another way, why don’t you go back and listen to what was actually there, instead of what you wish was there.  Perhaps the message had a different intent to it that you can learn something from.

4.       If you are focused on the type of music instead of the message of the music and the purpose of worship, then perhaps it is time to look at your own selfish desires and retrain them on God instead of on yourself. 

5.       Refocus your faith.  You should be serving God and serving His community, not being served by the church.  If you have been at your church more than a few months, you should be volunteering and becoming an active part of the family instead of being a passive consumer.   Church is not a business that sells a product to you, but a family, a body of people who work together towards God’s goals, not their own.

This isn’t to take anything away from the active, serving believer who offers gentle truth, a graceful critique, or sees a way to improve ministry and is willing to get their hands dirty to make a difference.  We need more of this and less of the other type.

It is time to take a hard look at how we do church.  In fact, let’s not do church anymore.  Let’s BE the church!  Let’s get rid of the petty, old-school ways of churchianity and begin living as selfless, loving, merciful, joyful, grace-filled servants of Jesus.   How powerful could it be if everyone in the small local church took the personal responsibility to serve and not to be served?  What if all of us decided to put our faith in action in the local community and not wait to be catered to? 

What could happen if each one of us gave sacrificially of our time, money, and abilities instead of waiting for someone else to do it?  Imagine a church where every single member was actively serving in a ministry that God called them to, regularly giving to God’s work, and committed to building a vibrant, loving, and welcoming community where those outside the church could come and encounter a safe place to seek God.

Perhaps that’s the target we should be aiming at. 

Wisdom Is Where You Find It

If you open your eyes, you can learn something just about anywhere. 

For example: A bus stop.

Or, in this case, two bus stops a couple hundred yards around the corner from each other.

I was driving down Thomas Road in Phoenix and passed the first bus stop.  The sign behind it said, “Some people are smarter than you.  Listen to them.” 

“Sage advice from a beer advertisement,” I mused, as I drove on down the road.

Then, as I turned the corner at 32^nd Street, I spied a second bus stop sign, also selling beer:

“The bulk of your life should be off the record,” this one touted.

More wise advice.  Beer advertisements have sure come up in the world in the past 20 years.  No Clydesdales playing football, no bikini clad women in the snow, and no vapid arguments over whether a beer tastes great or is less filling.  All things we can certainly do without.  Well, maybe not the bikini clad snow girls.  Definitely not without them.  Why would anyone drink beer if it weren't for the bikini clad snow girls.  But, I digress.

In this age of Googled answers and Facebook friends, when Snopes can’t keep track of the balderdash and Twitter can’t keep Weiners off the air; it’s refreshing to get some good old-fashioned wisdom from your friendly neighborhood brewery. 

There are people who are smarter than you.  Seek them out and listen to them.  Chances are they don’t live in Hollywood or Washington D.C.  Look for them in your neighborhood.  Most of them are over 70 and have lived long enough to learn a few hard lessons.  Get to know them.  Spend some time.  Learn from them.

And while you are at it, how about keeping most of your life off the record.  I still have to learn this one myself, but let me put it out there.  You don’t need to blather every inane thing in your day on Facebook.  No one cares.  They are too busy broadcasting their own frivolities.

Maybe it’s time to turn off the computer, tune in to the real people around us and drop out of the online world.

 Just for a while…

Wisdom is where you find it.

The Blacksmith

The Blacksmith

Hammer falls

to strike hot steel

gold-hot sparks fly

and red metal anneals

High heat and pressure

and fire and strain

hard metal shaped

blows rain again and again

Merciless hammer

of iron and oak

beat into new shape

on stroke after stroke

Sword and shovel

nail and screw

the same burning forge

shapes me and shapes you

Trials and losses

struggles and pain

mold us to much more

through striving and strain

Give thanks to the hammer

the anvil, the flame

we grow that much stronger

our beatings no shame

Each sharp blade or strong tool

proud of its purpose and role

began its new life

in the flames of the coal

When now you question

if troubles are vain

remember today’s hurt

will tomorrow be gain.

The blacksmith that forms us

seems cruel in his art

but his loving intention

sets him apart

For the steel stays weak

if no fire and no folding

and we are no better

without his careful molding.

Different Enough

I want to be different…  Just like everyone else. 

Our culture is one of conformity. 

Just check out the teen girl dressed in all black and listening to emo music, trying to be her own self, just like the dozen others that she hangs out with.

Look at the Republicans who, on cue, decry everything that president Obama does.  Look at the Democrats who did the same thing with George Bush.  Neither one can step outside of their group and actually give a little credit where it is due.

Look at the beatniks of the 50s, the hippies of the 60s, the feminists of the 70s, the yuppies of the 80s, and the grunge culture of the 90s. 

Look at the hundreds of guys with their pants belted below their butt, showing their chonies. (That’s a fad that can’t die soon enough)

Counter-cultural people tend to be just another culture. They’re different, just like everyone else.

Oh, we like to pretend that each of us is our own individual, but ultimately, society expects you to conform to an image.  My Human Development Professor in college, “We make too much of a big deal about cliques and conformity with teenagers.  I’m 65 years old and live in a retirement community and there is definitely a message of conformity, from the catalogues that tell me how I should dress, to the clubs that people my age join, to the expectations of my kids and grandkids.” 

This brings me to some recent conversations that I have had with my long-time friend, Rick.  Are we, as Christians, different enough?  Do we look so much like the world around us, that people just cannot tell the difference?  Or, do we just have a silly Christian sub-culture that has its own conformities?  Rick has been wrestling with these questions, and so have I.

A simple look at the statistics tells you that Christians give more money to charity, volunteer more to help others, adopt more children, and provide more day-to-day assistance to those around them than any other group of people.  But, is that enough? 

It is also easy to look out on the Christians that I meet and see that they are just as in debt up to their eyeballs as the rest of the world, far too many of their marriages are a wreck just like the rest of the world, they have just as many grudges and broken relationships as the rest of the world, there are racists, political radicals, and hypocrites – just like the rest of the world.  The umbrella of our name contains such people as the hateful Fred Phelps, the charlatans of televangelism, the smooth-talking salesmen like Joel Olsteen, and the senile and grumpy Pat Robertson. 

Is this who we are?  Are we just another club to join that’s just like everyone else in the world, or are we supposed to be something different?

It is easy to criticize other people, to look at the Christians around me and wonder, “Why aren’t you doing more?”  It’s quite popular for Christian book writers, bloggers, and others to disparage other Christian groups: ‘Megachurches are too worldly,’ ‘That group of churches are too judgmental,’ ‘your church isn’t holy if it doesn’t have such and such ministry,’ ‘you should teach this, but you don’t,’ ‘You’re not following Jesus if you…,’ or ‘__________ says (fill in the blank with Donald Miller, N.T. Wright, Rob Bell, John Piper, Bono, or any other name in the pantheon of minor Christian celebrities),’ etc. etc. etc.  But, (and here is a very big but), I have to start with myself. 

When I read Romans 12:1-2, it makes me wonder how transformed I am, or have I remained like the world.  Though Jesus tells me in Mathew 6:1-6 that I am not supposed to show off my good works, he also says in Matthew 5:13-16 that I am supposed to be a light to the world.  Now, I get the difference here: I am not to do good works, such as giving to charity in front of others so that others will see and congratulate me.  And, I’m not supposed to pray high and holy prayers in front of others so they will think that I am über-spiritual.  Ultimately, my personality, my life choices, my financial decisions, by choice of entertainment, the way I treat others, my ego/humility, my attitude, my very being should reflect that I am a changed man because of my relationship to the Messiah.

When you meet me, do you see love?  Am I a joyful person, content in all circumstance?  Am I a peacemaker, bringing others together and being humble enough to seek peace from those I’ve hurt and those who have hurt me?  Am I patient (I know I definitely need some work here).  Do I exude kindness, do I treat others as if they are better than me?  Am I good?  Do I consistently try to make the right choice daily, or do I make a lot of selfish choices?  Am I faithful, can my God, my wife, my family, and my friends count on my loyalty and support?  Am I gentle to those around me, not bullying, not being pushy, not ignoring those who need help?  Do I exhibit self-control, willing to accept delayed gratification, being temperate in what I eat, how I spend, what I own, and how I deal with people?

Do I exhibit generosity, even when I don’t have much?

Do I seek reconciliation, even when I am the one who was wronged?

Do I love people, even those who are difficult to love?

Do I care for others, not just those who look like me?

Do I treat people well, even those who persecute me?

Do I struggle with my faith, trying to put into practice, or do I just do religious service as a habit?

Am I actually relevant because I make a difference, or am I just trying to be relevant by acting a certain way?

When other’s look at me, is my life different enough from the materialistic, self-centered, values of the rest of the world that they are puzzled by it?

These questions and thoughts aren’t meant to be narcissistic, navel-gazing.  These are the questions and thoughts I would ask of any member of my congregation, any one that I mentor, any of my children, and anyone who claims to follow Jesus.  If we aren't struggling with this, perhaps we should be.  Our very message of hope is diminished if it looks to everyone else that it hasn't made a difference in our own lives.

These are questions that I struggle with and I’m not always very happy with the honest answers.  But, God help me, I’m trying.

It is my hope to be like an Easter egg sitting in the middle of a box of plain old white eggs.  I want to be gloriously different enough that people can tell the difference (not to glorify myself, but to point to the God that I serve).  I just hope that I’m not the cracked one. 

Am I different enough?

Are you?

Ten Things the Government Needs to Learn About Budgeting That I Learned From Running a Church

Here we are again. It’s crunch time and the politicians are making a big fuss about the budget. Democrats blame the Republicans, Republicans blame the Democrats, the sky is blue, grass is green… Such is life.



In the past two years, I have become the Senior Pastor at a small church here in Phoenix. As a youth pastor for years, I never had to worry much about the budget, the elders and Senior Pastor did that. Now, it’s my job and I’ve learned that it is harder than I ever realized. Running a church is really just running a small business from a financial point of view*. Running a Government is no different from running a small business, either, just a matter of scale.


I’m still trying to get my mind around all of the issues of the business side of church, but here are some lessons I’ve learned that might just help Congress.


1. It’s easy to nickel and dime your way to deficit spending.


Most of the issues I’ve encountered when it comes to going over budget aren’t about the big expenses. Yes, occasionally an AC compressor will give out in July or an irrigation accident will destroy a neighbor’s yard and require repair, but the truth is, it’s all the little expenses here and there that build up. Paper is $35 a case. Toner is $120 a cartridge. We chose to print a hundred of those posters and suddenly, we are over budget. Workday projects, repairs, and maintenance always cost twice what you expected and necessitate three trips to Home Depot. Whoops, we did it again. This is what makes budgeting so hard, because $28 here and $55 there doesn’t sound like much until you do it too many times.






2. It’s easier to spend when it’s someone else’s money


My family is all about debt-free living. We don’t use credit cards, we don’t get car loans, and we try very hard to consider our expenses so we don’t overspend. However, when it comes to making choices of what to buy or not to buy at work, it’s easier to think, “Oh, we’ll just move the money over from another area to cover it,” or, “This item is on sale and we’ll surely use it someday, so we’ll go ahead and buy it now and replenish the fund later.” The problem is: it’s much easier to be brutally realistic about finances when you are talking about paying the rent to keep the roof over your head and paying the electric bill to keep your own lights on.



3. You don’t reduce the deficit, cut it entirely and work on paying off debt.


My earliest recollection of politics comes from the budget fights of the early eighties. I remember the politicians saying, time and time again, “We must cut the deficit.” Even as a teenager, that sounded very weird. I wasn’t even good at math, but I knew that a negative is a negative whether it was $1000 or $1 billion dollars. That’s like trying to dig yourself out of a hole by using a trowel instead of a spade. Either way, you’re still digging a deeper hole. Nope, you gotta learn to live within your means and NEVER spend in the negative.






4. There’s always a bunch of good things to do with the money, but not always a bunch of money to do good things with.


Church is all about this. There’s always someone who has a ministry need. The homeless need fed. The orphans need shoes. People in Africa need medicine. People in Japan just had a natural disaster. Poor families need Christmas presents. Missionaries need sent. Tots need toys. Trees need angels. Drives need canned food. On and on and on and on. All of these are good things, and all cost money. The simple truth is we just cannot do them all. We have to say, “No,” to some of them. That hurts, that’s difficult, and that’s absolutely necessary.


5. Look at your priorities.


Yup, that’s what this comes down to. Prioritizing. Sounds easy, right? List all your bills in order of urgency. Begin dividing up your money to pay for those. Then, create a rainy day fund and put a good percentage of money into that account to cover unforeseen problems. Then, if (IF) there is money left over, begin adding those things you want to do in priority order. Parcel out any remaining funds for those items until you run out of money. Then, say, “I’m Sorry,” to the rest of the items.






6. Consider other options to pay for things.


So, there are good things leftover from your list (see items 4 & 5 above). Gosh, there is one of them that you really, really want to do. It’s such a good idea, but we just don’t have the money in the budget for it. Great. Let’s do it. Here’s how: go to the people and sell it to them. Tell them what a great idea it is and why we should do it. If they’re on board, then they’ll help pay for it. If not, then back to the drawing board. What other ways might we fundraise for this? Who else can we get behind this idea that might help? Where else can we cut or where else can we earn the money to make it happen? What if the church as a whole doesn’t provide for it, but individuals within the church who are passionate about it get creative and make it work?


This leads us to an especially important message for the American People and our Silly Politicians. Are you ready… Wait for it…


The Government is not the only one who can provide money for good things to happen! Whoa! Step Back! You mean that private investors can do charity? You mean that churches and community groups can be responsible for some of this stuff? You mean families can actually help each other? You mean communities can get together and make something work? All of this without our Mommy the Government doing it for us?


Abso-stinkin-lutely!



7. Good stewardship matters for good character.


I know you may not believe it, but church is not about money. Our message is one of hope and truth. We point people to a righteous God. But, our message gets awfully muddled when we misuse the money that is entrusted with us. Why would someone trust us to listen to our message if we aren’t open and transparent about something as basic as our finances? Why would someone believe that God wants us to care for the poor if the church community spends all its money on events for themselves? Where is our integrity when we say we care about the poor in third-world nations who live on less than a dollar a day, but we spend $50 million on a new building for our church to meet in? As a church, the message is simple: people see the way we spend our money and it reflects on their perception of the truth of our message.


Dear Congress, this applies to you. America was once a shining beacon in the world. Is it anymore? If we expect people in developing nations to believe that democracy works, we’d better be showing them that it does. Our message of the American Way is marred by our financial failures.


8. Someone has to pay the bills and it ain’t fair to leave it for someone else.


A house of cards is bound to come tumbling down someday. It’s funny, but there is a parable about building your house on sand versus building it on solid rock. Now, Jesus wasn’t talking about our budget there, but the lesson still rings true with our finances. We may be able to spend in a deficit for a few years (or generations if you are the government). We can get away with it for a little while, but eventually the bills are going to be called in. It will be time to pay up. It just isn’t right to spend freely now, knowing our children will one day face crushing austerity measures and crumbling economy, just so we selfishly can have everything we want now. For a household, this may mean bankruptcy. For a church, it could very well close us down. For a nation, the end results are almost unthinkable.






9. Brutal Realism is Required.


This is true of thousand dollar family budgets, hundreds of thousand dollar church budgets, multi-million dollar industry budgets, and trillion dollar governments. When it comes time to cut, EVERYBODY must give a little. Pet projects must go by the wayside. If they are good, then maybe they can return someday. This is probably the biggest problem we face as a nation. Everyone agrees that the budget must be cut, but nobody is willing to give away their pet project. The arts community wants the budget cut, just not the National Endowment for the Arts. Soldiers want the budget cut, just not a dime from the military. Teachers want the budget cut, but nothing from the schools. Seniors talk about how they lived through tight times in the depression, but the AARP isn’t about to discuss ANY changes to Social Security or Medicare. It doesn’t matter whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, you want everyone else to tighten their belt, just not you. It’s time to cut everywhere. It’s hard, but sometimes you have to go through EVERY line item on the budget and make adjustments. It hurts, but it is necessary.


10. Yes, budgeting is Hard – Quit Whining About It.


I hate numbers. I detest accounting. I loathe detail work. So what? It’s my job and I have to buckle down and do it. Every year, we have to look at the budget. We have to crunch numbers. We have to make hard decisions. We have to give up things. We have to say, ‘No.’ So, I get a cup of coffee, treat myself to a donut that I’m not allowed to have, I sigh a little; and then I get to work.


Dear Congress and Mr. President (of any administration and any party). Despite what you may have been led to believe, we did NOT send you there to enrich yourself. We sent you there to make hard decisions and to be leaders. Please listen clearly to the following Public Service Announcement: “Suck It Up!!!” Quit whining, work together, give till it hurts, and tell the lobbyists and your own constituents, “I know you want this, but we just can’t afford this, so the answer is No.”






There are some who would say all of this is naïve. Sure, this stuff applies to households and small businesses, but the government just doesn’t work that way. Well, they are right about that last part: it doesn’t work. What we are doing with our money doesn’t work; it is a house of cards that is past due for a collapse. We, the American people of any party, truly are naïve if we think this can continue much longer.


I don't have all the answers, and trust me, this is still a work in progress in my own life.  But, I do know that this lesson will be learned someday... The easy way or the hard way.



* Oddly enough, I wasn’t required to take a single class in Bible College or Seminary called How To Run A Small Business 101.

That Bad Word

Ralphie Gets His Mouth Washed Out
"A Christmas Story" 1983

Don’t use that word!!!  That word is so bad, I would say that any kid who uses it have their mouth washed out with soap.  Except, this word is not one that kids use, it’s one that adults use – and they just won’t hold still to have their mouths washed out with soap.

NO, I’m not talking about the ‘N’ word or the ‘F’ word, or even the ‘L’ word (thanks HBO).  At least these words get abbreviated in polite society, but not the one I’m talking about.  No, people come right out and say the ‘Ph’ word unapologetically.

There is a rise in the use of the ‘Ph’ word in the past couple of years, and it just needs to stop.  News media uses it frequently.  Special interests like to use it a lot too.  The most frequent abusers tend to be on one side of the political spectrum, but I predict we’ll see it on both sides more and more if we don’t stop it.

The word is ‘phobia’ along with all its permutations (phobe, phobic, etc).  It started to gain use with the word ‘Homophobia’ (a person who is ostensibly afraid of homosexuals)* and now it is being tagged onto the end of the word Islam as in Islamaphobe (a person who is ostensibly afraid of Muslims).  Who knows what it’s going to be tagged onto next?

By tagging the word ‘phobe’ onto the end of another word, you suggest that a person on the other side not only disagrees, but actually has mental issues as the basis for them not being on board with you.  This allows you to shut down all debate and intelligent discourse on the subject.  No one wants to be smeared with the suggestion that they have mental problems.  So, it’s easier not to say anything because you’ll be painted as the unreasonable one.  What a useful tool for those who don’t want to bother having logical arguments about their position or actually thinking through the other side’s reasons.

When you step back and look at it, it really is a silly idea: 

Are my Republican friends Democrataphobes? 

Are my gay friends Straightaphobes? 

Are my Atheist friends Religiophobes? 

My daughter likes vanilla ice cream, does that make her a Chocophobe?

I am attracted to long-haired brunettes (Love you, Honey).  Does that make me a Blondophobe?

As you see, this can get downright ridiculous.  Just because you have an opposing opinion or think differently on a matter doesn’t make you afraid of the other side.  It really is an adult version of name-calling.  We call that Ad-hominem for those of you who weren’t geeky enough to be in debate in High School.  The purpose is to demonize those who disagree with you in order to shut them up. 

It’s unfair, unkind, and unethical. 

So, let’s knock it off.

There are 310 million people in the United States, and so it’s pretty likely that we will all disagree once in awhile.  The childish way to deal with this is to use name-calling, threats, and low-blows.  The adult way to deal with this is to discuss and debate using fair argument, logic, and respectful dialog. 

Guess what, we still won’t all agree.  But, we can learn to live with each other, learn to win some and lose some, and learn to get along as adults.

Or, we can continue using bad words till we get our mouths washed out with soap.

Tank Abbott
could pound me into
the ground too making
me a tankaphobe

* I have to honestly admit that I have been a homophobe on one occasion.  I worked with a woman who was a lesbian, and her girlfriend was built like Tank Abbott and had an attitude to match (looked a little like him too). I am man enough to admit that I was afraid to disagree with her, because she could pound me into the ground.  But that’s the closest I’ve ever been to being a homophobe.

His Name Was Al - The Full Story

The flame that I lit
in Al's memory.

This past Sunday, our church held an All Saints Celebration to remember those friends and family that we knew who walked on our life Journey with us and have passed on.  I shared in my sermon about Pastor Al who shared Christ with me. 

Click Here to Visit the MVCC Monday Morning Bible Blog Where You Can Here the Sermon and the Whole Service for All Saint's Celebration.

Here is the full story:

I did not grow up with religion.  My parents had briefly gone to the Jehovah’s Witnesses around the time I was seven or eight years old, but that stopped quickly and I never really went to church after that.  I grew up with a bent towards debate and argument.  This was not the gentle sort of argument but an arrogant and self-assured idea that I was right about everything, and you’d better agree or I would pound you into submission with all the arguments I could muster.

This only got worse as I got out of High School and went into college for the first time.  I thoroughly enjoyed tweaking religious people's noses in arguments.  I pretty much always believed in a Creator, but never knew who he/she/it/they could be.  I did a lot of research, reading the major religious 'bibles' and reading about religions, but never believed any of them - generally because of major inconsistencies in their belief systems and the way I saw the believers act.

During college, I worked part time at a bank and ultimately ended up staying there as a department manager.  One of my employees was a Christian named Judy and was the wife of a pastor.  Judy good-naturedly began talking to me about Christ.  Though I usually got into knock-down/drag-out arguments with people who tried to evangelize me, I liked Judy and so I discussed it with her on several occasions.  Though I am sure that my outlook on religion was frustrating for her, she was honest and open about mistakes of the Church and that impressed me.  During one of our many conversations, I was frustrating Judy again and she suddenly stopped and said, "One day, God is gonna get you and when He does, He is going to use you for some great work.  He might even make you a pastor."  I laughed.  But I never forgot her saying that.

When my fiancé and I were looking to get married, Judy’s husband Al was the only pastor that I knew, so we asked him to perform the ceremony.  At the same time, we began visiting a local church to find out about renting the facility. 

Pastor Al said he would agree to perform the ceremony, only after we had pre-marital counseling.  We agreed to meet with him.  I had my doubts because I figured that he would use this opportunity to ‘cram religion down my throat’ (what a silly concept,  but that’s what I thought).  I was ready for him, I had all my arguments marshaled and was ready to fight.

On the first night of pre-marriage counselling, Pastor Al didn’t talk a lot about religion, but asked us many questions about ourselves and our relationship.  He ended the evening by telling us that he would not perform the ceremony because Becky and I had such disparate belief systems that would eventually tear us apart.  I left angry and my wife-to-be left in tears.  At her urging, called him back the next day to talk about it.  I asked if we could meet again and said I was willing to listen.  He agreed and we all went out to a restaurant for dinner and discussion.  My wife Becky and his wife Judy sat there all night saying almost nothing as Al and I talked it out.

I lead the conversation off by telling him that I didn’t want his religion because the Bible was full of errors and Christians were a bunch of hypocrites.  He smiled and picked up a Bible that he had on the seat and slid it across the table to me.  “Errors, huh?, show me one,” he said, looking right through me with a stern but amused stare.  I knew several off the top of my head, but didn’t know where to find them.  I never needed to in the past; all the other Christians I’d met crumbled when I started listing them. 

We closed down that restaurant that night.  We talked until they made us leave.  He answered every question I had, dealt with every argument logically, and challenged my thinking.  He admitted when he didn’t have all the answers and he too talked about the mistakes that the church has made in the past.  When we left that night, he agreed to meet again and reconsider the wedding.

Al ultimately did perform the ceremony for us, though I wasn’t a Christian.  It was several more years of study and questioning before I became a Christian.  Judy was right, though, once God got a hold on my, He hasn’t let go.  He has used me for many things, some great and some small, and I believe that He has more in store.   Judy was right about one other thing… I am a pastor now. 

Thank you Al and Judy. 

Postscript:  Pastor Al passed away in 2006 and I never got to tell him, “Thank You” in person.  Though it saddens me and fills me with regret, I live with the promise that one day I will see him again and be able to tell him then.

Rodger